


Keep You Close

by woojinnies



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, OC, Romance, Roommates, Slow Burn, dumb teenage boys being dumb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2018-11-12 06:37:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 40,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11156307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woojinnies/pseuds/woojinnies
Summary: The worst part about his roommate being Mingyu, who always falls asleep first, who smiles with his entire face, who never fails at reminding Wonwoo to eat three meals a day even if they aren’t talking to one another, is the constant reminder that Wonwoo can’t have him.Mingyu is a nightmare of a roommate, and Wonwoo is the moron that’s painfully in love with him.





	1. same old

**Author's Note:**

> Regarding the characters' ages:
> 
> -'96 and '97 liners are seniors (gr. 12)  
> -'95 liners are in their early 20's  
> \- Chan is a sophomore (gr. 10)   
> \- Hansol and Seungkwan are juniors (gr. 11)

_prologue;_

Mingyu is a nightmare of a roommate.

Wonwoo already knows that Headmaster Kim has it in for him. When you’re the son of the Kim family’s sworn enemy (who was the previous Headmaster before Headmaster Kim stormed in and sent everything crashing down; it’s complicated, he knows), it’s not hard to figure out. Their families haven’t hated each other since the beginning of time, but it sure feels like it. He had lessons centered around everything he shouldn’t do as a future company heir, and it all featured the Kims as a prime example. Even Wonwoo’s bedtime stories consisted of propaganda about what the Kim family did wrong.

Honestly, Wonwoo has long mastered the art of indifference and would have explicitly continued Not Caring about stupid family politics, if it wasn’t for Mingyu.

Kim Mingyu. Headmaster Kim’s adopted son, golden retriever personified, worst roommate to ever exist.

No matter how hard Wonwoo tries, he can’t understand why Headmaster Kim insists on sticking the two together. No matter how much he hates Wonwoo, this is his son he’s sacrificing. He’s just placing a bonfire right next to dynamite. They’re a disaster waiting to happen, and knowing them, they’ll probably burn the school down before they graduate.

But it’s times when Mingyu gets up at ass o’clock in the morning (of course the dumbass is a morning person) and has no conception of how to do anything quietly, that Wonwoo wonders if maybe this is actually part of Headmaster Kim’s grand plan to make his life hell. Moments when Mingyu attempts to belt out Adele songs in the shower even though he is most definitely not a singer, when he spends all night loudly typing up his assignments, when he mixes up Wonwoo’s clothes with his own despite Wonwoo’s wardrobe clearly only consisting of black, Wonwoo wonders if Headmaster Kim knows how fatally annoying his son is without even trying.

Even though you’re supposed to stay with the same roommate for all four years at International Eastridge Prep, Wonwoo can still ask for a roommate swap. This probably hasn’t occurred to Mingyu yet, because Mingyu isn’t a thinker and Wonwoo’s the only one who actively voices his dislike for their arrangement.

But every year, Wonwoo decides to stick it through one more time. Even if Mingyu is impossibly inconsiderate and obnoxious, the reason why Wonwoo is so perpetually unhappy is not Mingyu’s fault at all (at least not directly).

The worst part about his roommate being Mingyu, who always falls asleep first, who smiles with his entire face, who never fails at reminding Wonwoo to eat three meals a day even if they aren’t talking to one another, is the constant reminder that Wonwoo can’t have him.

Mingyu is a nightmare of a roommate, and Wonwoo is the moron that’s painfully in love with him.

  
  
  
-  
  
  


Mingyu wakes up just in time to see the giant gates swing open to welcome his car.

The first time Mingyu drove up the long, winding, cobbled path leading up to their castle of a school, he was amazed. Granted, everything seemed amazing to him after Mr. Kim pulled him out of the orphanage and plopped him right into the middle of a modern fairytale. But now, as Mr. Kim slowly chugs around the unnecessary marble fountain in front of the giant entrance that practically screams _preppy elitist private school from the 1700s,_ Mingyu can’t muster any form of appreciation.

Don’t get him wrong, he’ll always be grateful. Mingyu jumped from a run-down public school to a renowned international private school (with a few little bumps in between). He knows all of this isn’t meant to be his. That doesn’t mean he’s forced to like it, though.

Mr. Kim parks the car and takes a deep breath. “Ah, sure feels good to be back.”

“I’ll get our stuff,” Mingyu says and hops out without waiting for a response. It’s his way of paying Mr. Kim back for the ride. Mr. Kim drives, Mingyu is the luggage boy. Mr. Kim buys Mingyu’s clothes, Mingyu wears what he’s given. Mr. Kim adopted him, Mingyu has to be the ideal son.

He drags their suitcases up the marble staircase into the front foyer, only to find even more staircases waiting for them in the entrance hall. It’s all pretty ridiculous.

“Are you stopping by your room first?” Mr. Kim asks, body already turned to head off to the office.

Mingyu nods, knowing that if he opens his mouth, he’ll probably complain about the amount of stairs he’s going to have to climb. Mr. Kim grabs his luggage and heads off without another word.

Mingyu’s lucky, once again, to live in the best residence hall, which is basically a penthouse suite, but it’s on the top floor past four flights of stairs. They never installed elevators, for some reason. Mingyu believes the school just wants to stick with the traditional, ancient “aesthetic.”

He groans, lugging his suitcases one by one up the flights. By the time he reaches the top, he’s sweating, his legs are sore, and he just wants to take an hour-long shower. The staircase leads directly into their common area, a fireplace lounge. Mingyu knows he won’t be spending a lot of time here since the lounge is usually taken over by the Snobs, whose leader just so happens to be his roommate.

Mingyu drags his suitcases to a stop in front of their room. He remembers the day he walked into his room in his first year, all excited about meeting his potential best friend. Instead, he came face to face with an ice block.

Okay, the ice block has a name: Jeon Wonwoo.

Fourteen year-old Mingyu had heard about Jeon Wonwoo. All he knew was that their families were in a long-lasting feud ever since Mr. Kim caught Headmaster Jeon in a scandal and replaced him as Headmaster. This happened about two decades ago, but somehow their entire families found out and declared war – or at least, the wealthy, passive-aggressive version of war. But Mingyu was naïve and believed the best in everyone, so he attempted to befriend Wonwoo.

Wonwoo had walked right out after Mingyu introduced himself.

 _Okay,_ Mingyu told himself, _maybe he had a bad day. We’ll try again tomorrow._

Tomorrow came, and Wonwoo would not say a single word to him. The next day was the same, and the next, and the next. After a whole month passed, Mingyu couldn’t stand the awkward silence and blurted out for Wonwoo to say something.

Wonwoo levelled a cold, hard stare at him and said, “You’re annoying.”

But it seemed to have changed something. After that, Mingyu probably marked himself as a target. Wonwoo would pass snide remarks, engage him in fistfights that ended with both of them in the office (to Headmaster Kim’s chagrin), and at one point, even pushed Mingyu off the stairs leading up to the common area. He’s surprised Wonwoo hasn’t tried to sneak some poison into his drinks or smother him in his sleep.

Everything Mingyu hates about this new world he got shoved into is wrapped up in Wonwoo. All the elitism, the judgement, the superior air – Wonwoo has all of it.

Mingyu would have been okay with putting aside their families’ dumb animosity, but it seemed like it mattered a lot to Wonwoo, as the boy seemed to have it out for Mingyu since Day 1. Which is odd, considering how similar they seem to be. They shared similar classes since first year, liked the same food, and listened to the same music. They even have the same taste in girls.

Breathing out, Mingyu pushes open the door. He knows Wonwoo wouldn’t be there since Mingyu’s always the first one to arrive for the new school year, but he still checks.

Mingyu shuts the door behind him and flops down face-first into his bed. It smells like detergent. Not long from now, Wonwoo’s expensive cologne will be all Mingyu can smell, so he should treasure this moment.

One more year of Jeon fucking Wonwoo as his roommate. One more year of girlfriends breaking up with him to hook up with Wonwoo weeks later. One more year of Wonwoo’s stupid face being the first thing he sees when he wakes up and last thing he sees before falling asleep.

Mingyu is so ready for this to be over.

  
  
  
-  
  
  


A sharp knock at the door wakes Mingyu out of his nap. He shoots up, hand raking through his hair to attempt to comb down the mess, and smooths down his shirt. He double-checks in the mirror for any dried-up drool.

Mingyu opens the door with a drawled, “Guess you forgot your keys, idiot.”

But it’s not Wonwoo’s sharp, piercing eyes that look up at him. Sunbin’s friendly smile immediately disappears at Mingyu’s tone.

“What did you call me?” Sunbin growls, grabbing Mingyu into a headlock.

“Sorry, sorry!” Mingyu squawks, hitting Sunbin’s arm for mercy. “I thought –”

Sunbin loosens her grip, but keeps her arm around Mingyu’s neck. She leads them down the hall to the lounge. “You thought I was your asshole roommate?”

Mingyu laughs, “It’s so peaceful without him here.”

Sunbin hums in agreement as they plop down in the comfy armchairs. They both relish the moment, knowing they won’t get the same opportunity when the Snobs arrive.

Generally, girls aren’t allowed in the boys’ dorm and vice versa, but Sunbin tends to do whatever she wants without any consequences. Mingyu doesn’t know how, but he’s not complaining.

“Who else is here?” Mingyu asks. “You guys carpooled, right?”

“Seokmin and Soonyoung. We had room for one more.” Sunbin plays with a lock of hair. Mingyu kind of wants long hair, too – it looks somewhat cathartic. “Did you ride with your dad again?”

Mingyu laughs, “Yeah, but I’d take that over being stuck in a car with those two any day.”

“Tell me about it,” Sunbin groans. “I ditched them as soon as the car was parked. I don’t know how they never run out of things to talk about.”

“You mean shout about. Seriously, I swear the only two volumes they have is loud and louder.”

Sunbin nods in agreement. “Still, they’re the few people we can actually stand here.”

“You’re doing it again.” Mingyu whacks her lightly. “The us versus them mentality.”

“You think the Snobs will be friendly with a scholarship student like me? I’m not like you. I don’t have their respect. If I didn’t hang out with you all the time, they’d probably kick me out.”

“Just one more year,” Mingyu says, like it’s an apology. “One more year, and we’re done.”

Twirling a lock of hair around her finger, Sunbin repeats, “One more year.”

  
  
  
-  
  
  


Once boys started trickling up the stairs, Sunbin and Mingyu decide to relocate to the caf. A decision well warranted after one of the boys made a crude comment towards Sunbin being in the boys’ dorms, which she responded by flipping him off.

It’s starting to feel more real by the second, seeing all the uniformed students wandering around with suitcases and teachers directing the first years to their dorms. It’s ticking down, the seconds until Mingyu has to see him.

First day meals usually mean heart-warming, heavy dishes filled with carbs. Pasta, lots of cheese, bread of all sorts, and the usual side-dishes are cluttering everyone’s tables, which are set up with cream tablecloths and giant plates larger than Mingyu’s face. It’s all so luxurious, and all so typical.

“Look at those chandeliers,” Sunbin scoffs. Mingyu squints up at the multiple chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, then at the long windows letting light in. “Why are they even on? It’s noon, the sun’s doing its job just fine.”

“Maybe they think they can pay off global warming.”

Mingyu’s mission is accomplished when Sunbin bursts out in laughter, finally ending her anti-wealth rant for today. Although, he soon finds himself regretting it as he watches her eyes widen at something over his shoulder. Sunbin can be a little too perceptive when she’s not complaining.

“What?” He prods.

“Nothing, just –” Sunbin bites her lips. “You broke up with Soyi, right?”

Mingyu heaves a sigh and glances over his shoulder. His ex is all over another guy, practically sitting on his lap. He probably should feel hurt, but he was never really that attached to Soyi anyway. He liked her, sure, but it was just any other high school relationship.

“We were done before summer even started.” He glances at the table a few rows down from theirs and catches a glimpse of Wonwoo’s best friend, Minghao, and his obnoxiously coloured hair. “I thought she was with Wonwoo.”

“They hooked up in July, but he got bored after a day.”

“Wow, talk about high expectations,” Mingyu says, rolling his eyes. He straightens his back, but all he sees is Minghao and Jihoon talking. He murmurs, “I don’t see him.”

Sunbin doesn’t turn around, but she knows who he’s talking about. “Then he’s not here.”

“Maybe he switched seats.” Mingyu cranes his head, then tries glancing around the room.

“Maybe he’s on a family vacation. Or maybe he’s sick. I don’t know.”

“He’d never miss first day lunch.”

Sunbin twirls her fork in the air, finally getting Mingyu’s full attention. “We both know he always makes sure you’re aware that he’s in the room at all times. If you can’t see him, then he’s not here. Now sit down and eat your pasta.”

Mingyu does sit down and eat his pasta, but something about his expression makes Sunbin sigh. Her sighs are heavy and noticeable, like she’s sucking out all the air in her body to demonstrate just how frustrated she is with Mingyu. Still, that doesn’t stop him from occasionally glancing at Wonwoo’s table, half-expecting the boy to just materialize out of thin air.

  
  
  
-  
  
  


Wonwoo isn’t there when he wakes up.

Mingyu tries not to look at the empty half of his room and makes his way to Economics. Maybe Wonwoo’s rooming with someone else the first night. It happened before, when they got into bigger fights that left both of them reeling, even after the bruises healed. Mingyu wonders if he should walk by Jihoon and Minghao’s room, but decides against it.

First class is Economics, which is the one class out of his first semester schedule that he doesn’t share with Wonwoo.

Then English rolls around, and the teacher takes attendance. Nobody calls out _present_ in that low tone that somehow makes it sound less nerdy and more regal than a simple _here._ Mingyu spends half the class glaring at Minghao who pointedly does not look his way. Eventually, class is over, and Wonwoo does not show.

Mingyu stands in front of Minghao’s desk the second the bell rings. Minghao tries to inch his way around, but Mingyu is tall and stubborn when he wants to be.

“Can someone call the janitor? I need them to take out the trash,” Minghao says, crossing his lanky arms and raising his eyebrows like that will magically make Mingyu fall to the side.

“Hilarious,” Mingyu scoffs. “Where is he?”

“Where’s who? Your father? So you can go and tattle on me for hurting your feelings?”

“Knock it off, Minghao. I’m talking about Wonwoo.”

Minghao pauses for a second, but his expression remains indifferent. Wonwoo’s clearly best friends with him for a reason. “You think just by asking, I’ll tell you?”

“If you don’t know, then just say so.”

“I don’t have to say anything.” Minghao looks away. Mingyu barely catches the worry in the scrunched eyebrows, but it’s there.

“Fine, but if I find anything out about him, then I won’t say anything to you, either.”

Mingyu turns his back to leave, but he’s one hundred percent sure Minghao’s flipping him off. It doesn’t even bother him anymore. He’s never gotten angry enough to slug Minghao across the face, not like he does with Wonwoo. All the shit Minghao spews is surface-level insults. In a way, Mingyu can thank Wonwoo for helping him build his defenses by trampling over Mingyu’s ego with just one infuriatingly eloquent sentence. If there’s one decent thing about Wonwoo, it’s that he would never flip off Mingyu behind his back. He’s at least worth bruising Mingyu’s knuckles for.

  
  
  
-  
  
  


Mingyu’s a jealous person. He’s self-aware enough to acknowledge the truth.

Back when he was still living with his mom, he would get jealous over the little things, like seeing a guy with better hair or better shoes. Now, he learned to get jealous over the big things, like seeing a family of four playing in the park. Either way, Mingyu’s had a lot of experience with the ugly feeling and knows how to keep it locked up.

So, when Seokmin and Soonyoung are discussing their escape plan in the room they share with Jun, Mingyu swallows back the bitter taste and plasters on a smile, nodding occasionally. It’s one out of their pile of traditions: ditching the welcome assembly at the start of the year. This year, Seokmin and Soonyoung are planning on hopping the gates by climbing the tall oak tree right beside it.

“This school’s old as fuck,” Jun says over the top of his book. “Older students would have tried this already. There’s a reason why the tree hasn’t been chopped down.”

“Yeah, well, the older students didn’t include _me,_ ” Soonyoung grins.

“You sure you don’t wanna come?” Seokmin asks, legs swinging from his position on his bed.

“I’m good, thanks.” Mingyu’s glad that he’s lying down on the top bunk so he doesn’t have to fake a grin. “You know I’m not allowed to ditch the assembly.”

He wants to, though. He wants to climb trees and hop gates and ditch school and not have to worry about consequences beyond detention. Maybe he won’t enjoy it, but he won’t know unless he gives it a try. But Mingyu doesn’t even have the choice.

“There’s like 3,000 kids here. I doubt Headmaster will know you didn’t show,” Soonyoung says.

“The teachers will notice.”

“C’mon, it’s senior year,” Seokmin whines.

Mingyu laughs, “You can’t use senior year as an excuse to do stupid things.”

“The welcome assembly’s a stupid thing.” Soonyoung gets to his feet, head popping up right beside Mingyu’s head. “It’s just meant to introduce the freshmen to the gorgeous jail they’ll be living in for the next four years.”

Mingyu’s saved from responding by the announcement blaring for all the students to make their way down to the auditorium. Mingyu smiles genuinely at that, out of relief, and shoves Soonyoung’s face away so he can drop down from the bunk to the ground.

He’s not surprised to see some of the residence rooms shut. Soonyoung’s not wrong. The welcome assembly wasn’t even helpful, Mingyu recalled. When he was a freshmen, anything anyone said to him the first few weeks at school went in one ear and out the other. There was just too much for him to learn and absorb that the overflow of information was never retained.

Now, of course, he knows all the teachers who will be standing on stage. He can practically mouth along to the speech Headmaster Kim will give, since they use the same script every year. It also helps that Headmaster Kim insisted on practicing the presentation to Mingyu all summer long.

The crowd slows to a halt as everyone bottlenecks at the entrance of the auditorium. Mingyu glances down at his watch. The assembly should start in five minutes. By now, Seokmin and Soonyoung would have crawled down their balcony with their blanket rope. They always invited Jun and Mingyu with them on their little escapades, but Mingyu can’t risk getting caught and Jun would rather stay in his room with a book than climb down four stories. Knowing Sunbin, she’s probably inside the auditorium, herding all the big-eyed first-years to their seats.

The crowd’s thinning out as more people enter the auditorium, but Mingyu doesn’t want to be one of them. He doesn’t want to sit in the crowded auditorium that will overheat from the body heat for a whole hour. He wants to climb down a window like Seokmin and Soonyoung. He wants to leave.

It’ll be so easy. No one’s watching. He can just –

“Mingyu?” Mingyu glances up. Of all people, it’s his Physics teacher, Ms. Lee. He didn’t even _start walking yet._ Does he look suspicious just standing there?

“Good afternoon, Ms. Lee.”

“Are you heading in?”

“I actually,” Mingyu glances to his right. “I was headed to the bathroom. I’ll be in shortly.”

“Okay, we’ll be expecting you.”

Mingyu flashes a quick smile before pivoting and walking quickly to the sanctity of the washroom. Bending over the sink, he splashes water over his face, not caring that he’s getting his uniform wet. Mingyu shuts the tap off and stares at his reflection in the mirror.

This isn’t the first time he’s hid in this bathroom.

_Mingyu washes his face with icy cold water, trying to wake himself up from this dream. He’s already spent enough time here, eating expensive dishes and wearing designer clothes. It’s enough. Actually attending a private school makes it clear that this is his life now. But he doesn’t know if he wants it to be._

_And in a few seconds, he’ll have to decide. Mingyu will walk into the auditorium, and everyone will notice that he’s a pitiful orphan adopted by Headmaster Kim. They’ll know that he has no fucking clue what to do with all the riches thrust in front of him. He doesn’t belong here. He can’t talk the way they talk. He can’t dress the way they dress. He can’t be them. He doesn’t belong anywhere._

_He scrubs his face harder when he can feel the heated prickling behind his eyelids. He generally tries not to think of Mom, because then the guilt will become too much. But now, he just wants to hug her. He wants to feel her run her fingers through his hair and to hear her hum soothingly._

_“I think the coast’s clear,” someone calls from behind him. Startled, Mingyu whirls around to see three closed bathroom stalls swing open in unison to reveal three boys._

_The short one glares at him. “Didn’t you leave already?”_

_“Oh, if it isn’t the abandoned puppy Headmaster Kim dragged in,” Minghao sneers._

_“Fuck off,” Mingyu bites back, praying to whoever’s up there, if they even give a fuck about him, that the boys can’t tell he was crying. He doesn’t want to deal with Minghao’s shit right now. He can’t believe Satan and his two favourite devils had to show up right when he’s seconds from breaking down._

_“Oh, really? What are you gonna do?” Minghao takes a step towards Mingyu, but Wonwoo, ugh, holds him back with one hand held up._

_“Why aren’t you chasing after your father?” Wonwoo asks in his usual bored monotone. He tilts his head, assuming a general air of disinterest. He doesn’t really care, he just wants Mingyu out._

_Mingyu wipes his face with his sleeve, trying to hide his flaming face. “Why are you three here, anyway?”_

_“That’s not an answer to my question, Kim.”_

_“Great observation, Wonwoo,” Mingyu mutters. “Whatever. I’m leaving.”_

_“Wait.” No. No, no, no. Mingyu’s stomach drops low just from that infliction in Wonwoo’s voice. He knows. The boy crowds into Mingyu’s space and Mingyu instinctively shrinks back, but his back hits the counter. “You’re crying.”_

_An ugly beat falls between them._

_“No, no, I wasn’t –”_

_“I didn’t ask a question that time, Kim.”_

_“Oh my god,” Minghao blurts out. “Are you serious? You were crying in the bathroom?”_

_Mingyu shoves Wonwoo back, just to give himself some room to breathe. He glares, angry, straight at Wonwoo, red, teary eyes and all. He doesn’t care anymore. He’s already hit rock-humiliating-bottom._

_“Get out,” Wonwoo says._

_“Gladly,” Mingyu manages, but Wonwoo pushes him back._

_“Not you.” Wonwoo nods to his other two goons. They get the message immediately, and even Minghao doesn’t have any scathing remarks left._

__

_Mingyu breathes heavily, ducking his head. He’s going to get beat up today for crying in the bathroom. This is his life now. He’ll only ever embarrass Headmaster Kim and even his mother from the grave._

_“Why?”_

_“What do you mean, why?” Mingyu forces a laugh, turning his head to the side. “You want more blackmail material on me? You already caught me crying. That good enough for one day, don’t you think?”_

_Mingyu glares holes into the tiled walls. Judging from Wonwoo’s tense silence, he succeeded in pissing the other boy off. Mingyu finds that the more he rambles, the easier it is to stumble on something that will get on Wonwoo’s nerves._

_“I just don’t understand why. You got dumped in mountains of cash out of pure luck. What’s so bad about this life?”_

What’s so bad about this life?

Mingyu watches as the water drips down his cheek to his chin to the sink. There are probably thousands of people jealous of his story. A poor, little orphan rescued by a millionaire. What’s so bad about it?

He doesn’t remember what his answer to Wonwoo was, or if he even gave one. All Mingyu recalled was that he threw a punch at one point just out of pure anger that Wonwoo was the one to see him at his lowest point, and because Wonwoo was spouting some nonsense about revolting. Wonwoo and his friends were planning on skipping the welcome assembly, too, as a way to rebel against Headmaster Kim in their own little way. That’s why they were hiding out in the bathroom stalls. It was juvenile, but Mingyu knew, in that moment, he wanted so badly to leave with them, too.

There’s a huge gap between what he should do and what he wants to do. It’s not even about having the courage to jump across that gap, but about dealing with the aftermath. Little things, like throwing a punch or picking a fight, yield consequences he can handle. But little things all add up eventually into one huge honking mess. Sure, it’ll feel great in the moment, but he can’t disappoint the man who gave him a whole new life, a life that seemed incomparably better than his previous one.

Mingyu doesn’t know why he spent so much time mulling over this or butting heads with Wonwoo whenever he mocks Mingyu for being so predictable. He’s going to envy everyone else for living a life that’s not his, and he’s always going to end up making the same decision anyway.

  
  
  
-  
  
  


By the time the teachers stop calling Wonwoo’s name during attendance, Mingyu’s already visited the office four times, but hasn’t gone in once. October begins, and Mingyu makes up his mind. He needs to do something.

His hand is on the office doorknob when someone yanks him back.

“What are you doing?” Jihoon hisses at him.

Mingyu stares down at the hand wrapped around his arm. Jihoon has surprising strength for someone his size, but Mingyu feels it won’t be wise to voice that thought. “The same thing you’re doing.”

“I’m delivering the attendance,” Jihoon says quickly and holds up the sheet of paper.

“Hm, yeah, someone’s attendance record is really taking a hit these days,” Mingyu says. “I was just going to ask them about that.”

Jihoon chews on his bottom lip for a second, then grabs Mingyu’s arm and drags him behind a pillar. He leans in, and Mingyu thinks he’s going to get smacked, but Jihoon just whispers, “People say he got kidnapped.”

“What?” Mingyu reels back.

Jihoon glares at him. “He’s right, you’re never not loud.”

Mingyu lets himself feel offended for all of three seconds. “Okay, sorry, but what do you mean kidnapped?”

“He cares about school too much to miss it. You know him, you live with the guy. Wonwoo didn’t even stay home when he got sick. The fact that he’s been gone for this long means something’s really wrong.”

Jihoon’s right. If there’s one thing Wonwoo hates more than Mingyu, it’s skipping school. But still. “Yeah, but _kidnapping?_ That’s a little extreme.”

Jihoon shrugs one shoulder. “He’s a Jeon. Kidnappings aren’t uncommon with them. A little ransom will barely make a dent in their savings.”

“No way.” Mingyu lets his mouth drop open and widens his eyes. “No way you think I’m that big of an idiot.”

Jihoon shoots him a cool look, then leans back and has the nerve to smirk. “Thought I’d give it a shot. You were going to fall for it.”

“I know Wonwoo always rants about how stupid I am, but I’m not that gullible,” Mingyu says. “So is this why you stopped me from going to the office?”

“I already went the second week of school. They notified his parents, but that’s all they can do.” At Mingyu’s narrowed eyes, Jihoon holds up his hands in defense. “I was just trying to save you some energy. If you want to check yourself, go ahead.”

Mingyu glances at the office, then back at Jihoon. His expressionless face gives away nothing. Why are all of Wonwoo’s friends complete robots?

As he turns and walks away, he hears Jihoon call after him, “Why do you care so much anyway? I thought you hated him.”

Mingyu pretends he didn’t hear.

  
  
  
-  
  
  


Friday evenings usually find Mingyu with his group of friends outside in the garden, with bottles of Coke cans filled with beer. Somehow, Seokmin and Soonyoung always have a stash of beer hidden somewhere in their room and they never get caught. Mingyu swears he’s seen a bottle hidden in one of their socks in their drawers before. They can get real creative. Mingyu never drinks, of course, and neither does Sunbin.

But there’s something relaxing about sitting under the night sky with the smell of flowers all around them, everything casted in darkness, as Mingyu listens to their occasional conversations or sipping. Especially during the fall, with the days shortening and stars showing.

“Hey,” Seokmin says. He’s laying down on the bench with his head on Sunbin’s lap, one leg propped up and the other spread out, occupying much more space than necessary. Soonyoung swats his other leg down, so he has enough room at the end of the bench to sit. “Do you think we’ll still be like this after graduation?”

“Oh, god.” Sunbin leans her head back, eyes closing. “The future gives me a headache.”

“I’ll be in England by then,” Soonyoung says, mouth twisted. “Ha, can you imagine me acting all posh?”

“Are you kidding me? You’d probably still be wreaking havoc, just with a British accent,” Jun laughs, nudging his shoulder against Soonyoung’s from his spot perched on the bench arm. Mingyu’s the only one laying on the ground on top of his friends’ blazers. He’s too tall to ever fit on the bench with all of them.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to prank you guys from another country,” Soonyoung bumps Jun back, smiling widely again.

Seokmin pats Soonyoung before opening his mouth wide for Soonyoung to pour some beer into his mouth. He wipes his mouth, before saying, “Sunbin and Mingyu are probably going to end up in some American Ivy League, right? Wouldn’t it be great if they ended up going to the same school?”

Sunbin pokes Mingyu’s shoulder with her foot. “Imagine if I have to see your face for another four years. Oh no, and I thought I was going to be free.”

Mingyu laughs, swatting her foot away. He quiets down as the conversation turns towards which countries they’d want to travel to. Sometimes he contributes to their talks, but he’s much more content with just listening. With his friends, he doesn’t feel the pressure to always switch the dial up to 100%, to always flash his pearly-whites and say something witty. They’re his breathing space.

Besides, Mingyu hasn’t really thought about what to do after high school because he honestly didn’t think he’d last this long. He’d probably just apply to whatever schools Headmaster Kim wished for him to. With his connections and his decent grades, as well as his extracurriculars over the summers, it wouldn’t be difficult for him to get accepted into a respectable university. It’s kind of funny, the options he has now compared to his life before. Fourteen-year-old Mingyu would have lost his mind if he knew in a few years, he would actually have a shot at something beyond the local provincial university. But seventeen-year-old Mingyu isn’t ecstatic at his prospects.

That doesn’t mean he’s not happy. He is, he really likes his life right now. It took some getting used to, and he still feels like someone could see right through him and tell that he’s faking it as he goes, but he’s privileged and he’s content.

Mind-numbingly content.

  
  
  
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He’s probably failing English. Maybe Advanced Functions, World History, and Physics, too. Surprisingly, he’s doing okay in Economics.

Which is not good. There’s always been an unspoken protocol about how Mingyu should behave at school as the headmaster’s son, and that involves having at least a 90 average.

It’s not a problem for Mingyu. He knows there are certain things he has to do, as a way to thank Mr. Kim for taking him in and lavishing him with a bank account with more zeros than he has guitar picks. The least he can do is not be a disappointment. If that means staying on the honour roll, playing nice with the Snobs, and not wasting money on illegal substances, then so be it.

He’s never had trouble keeping up the 90 average, but of course, in the most important year of high school, Mingyu’s finally failing.

And it’s all because of Jeon fucking Wonwoo.

Okay, so maybe Jeon Wonwoo isn’t in class to physically annoy Mingyu, but even his absence sticks out like Minghao’s obnoxious neon hair. It doesn’t even matter that Wonwoo’s not physically here. Wonwoo will always find a way to get under Mingyu’s skin. Mingyu won’t be surprised if that binder he tripped over on the staircase was Wonwoo’s doing. Point is, Mingyu’s marks are going down, and it’s all Wonwoo’s fault, and that’s that.

“The highest mark I scored on our quizzes is an 80,” Mingyu says numbly at dinner in the caf. He just came back from Physics and his teacher had handed out the marks they had so far. The shock still hasn’t worn off. “I’m a disgrace to my family.”

Soonyoung pats Mingyu’s arm comfortingly. “My average is probably half of yours.”

“It’s only been a month, Mingyu. Don’t stress. You still have time,” says Sunbin. Nevertheless, she pushes Mingyu’s favourite bread rolls closer to him, knowing that the basket is probably going to be empty in ten minutes. Mingyu tends to stress-eat.

Seokmin blinks at his friends. “Are none of you going to ask why? Mingyu’s always acing our quizzes. Especially Physics. It’s like his thing. Isn’t it weird his marks are slipping –”

Jun clasps a hand over Seokmin’s mouth, but it’s a little too late. The dam has already burst.

“It’s because of that damn Snob leader!” Mingyu explodes, throwing the bitten bread roll in his hand down at the table. He doesn’t notice Sunbin sighing and picking up the abandoned roll. “Jeon Wonwoo’s sole goal is to make my life hell –”

Sunbin stuffs the bread into Mingyu’s mouth, turning his rant into muffles. She glares at Seokmin accusingly. “Look what you started.”

“I thought he was going to give an actual reason,” Seokmin says, looking at Mingyu, betrayed.

Mingyu gulps down the roll. “It is an actual reason! Remember the time he –”

“Do I have to stuff bread into your mouth again?” Sunbin cuts him off.

“We all remember the time he pushed you off the stairs, Mingyu,” Jun says. “Honestly, it wasn’t even a push. He was running down the hall and accidentally bumped into you, and you were the one who lost your balance and fell down five stairs. Five whole steps. Wow, I wonder how you didn’t break your neck.”

“Hey, no victim blaming. And I thought I fractured my arm!”

Soonyoung chimes in, “But you didn’t. You just bruised your ass. And your ego.”

Offended, Mingyu throws the bread roll at Soonyoung’s face. Seokmin flails his hands in between them, almost knocking over glasses of water, and exclaims, “Don’t start a food fight again!”

“Is this Attack Mingyu Day?” Mingyu whines down at his bread rolls. They’re the only ones on his side. “You all know that was by accident! Ice Cube was being a dick and the caf just happened to be serving fries. I took a handful and flung.”

“And then everyone else took a handful and flung.”

“It was a waste of food,” Sunbin scolds him again. He rolls his eyes, having heard this lecture a thousand times since that incident in sophomore year.

“Yeah, yeah,” Mingyu waves her off. “He was making me miserable that day, okay?”

Jun scoffs, “Like he doesn’t always make you miserable.”

“Look at you.” Soonyoung gestures at Mingyu. “Wonwoo doesn’t even have to be here to make you miserable. Shouldn’t you be relieved that he isn’t here? It doesn’t even make sense how he’s affecting you but he’s not even at school.”

“Exactly! Who knows what he’s up to? He could be scheming on how to take down the Kim household now that Headmaster Kim and I are both at school and the house is just occupied with the staff.”

“Right, Mingyu,” Soonyoung says slowly. His other friends already tuned out of the conversation during Mingyu’s rant. “Because Wonwoo’s just as obsessed with you as you are with him. He’d definitely miss school just to break into your house to do fuck all.”

“Don’t give me that tone,” Mingyu huffs and gets up. He grabs his bag. “I know he’s up to something.”

With a huff, Mingyu leaves the caf to the sound of his friends cackling behind him. He tries to weave around a couple people, but remembers to stop and catch up with them about what they did over the summer break, even if the last thing he wants to do is chat up people he wouldn’t mind never seeing again. Even if he’s feeling shittier than ever, he has to keep up appearances. Eventually, he pays enough lip service and breaks apart from the group, past the staircase leading to the residence halls. He heads off to the library instead.

It’s not that he’s avoiding his room. It’s great, having his own room now. He never realized how spacious the dorms were. Mingyu just prefers studying in the library, with its wall-length shelves stacked with books and mahogany couches and smooth, wooden desks, occupied by people who don’t care about his roommate’s absence.

  
  
  
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Mingyu walks into Advanced Functions, and he immediately knows.

There’s a general hushed whisper going around the room, while everyone’s facing someone in the middle instead of the front of the classroom. Mingyu edges past some girls to his seat, all the while trying to peek over the wall of people.

There, sitting in the middle of the second row like he hasn’t been absent for a few weeks, is Jeon fucking Wonwoo.

Mingyu almost drops his bag to the ground. He’s finally, almost, nearly gotten used to not having Wonwoo around, but of course, that’s when the boy shows up. (Okay, that’s a lie. But Mingyu’s still upset.) It’s not even a grand entrance but he still is the centre of attention. That’s just Jeon Wonwoo, quietly playing the main character.

It’s unfair. He doesn’t even need to try, when Mingyu’s always slaving hours away studying just to even get close to Wonwoo’s marks. Mingyu has to try so hard to fit in, to learn all the social cues, while Wonwoo’s just casually charming people left and right without so much as a lift of the eyebrow. He has everything. The only thing Mingyu has that Wonwoo doesn’t, the Headmaster, isn’t even his to begin with.

Mingyu silently pulls his binder and laptop out of his bag, practically fuming. What gives Wonwoo the right to just waltz in here, without giving anyone a warning? Why is he always doing whatever he wants? Why wasn’t he in their room this morning?

Everyone’s talking about him, but they’re afraid to talk to him. This is the one class that Wonwoo doesn’t share with his Snobs, so he’s just silently pretending he doesn’t notice the bubble of people around him. The teacher eventually walks in, and Mingyu sees Wonwoo slump in relief.

Mingyu gives up on concentrating on any math and just pretends to scribble down calculations while sneaking peeks at Wonwoo. All the millions of questions bubbling on his tongue and the familiar bursts of anger are washed over by general unease. There’s something off.

Usually, Wonwoo gets a haircut during the summer, but his hair is long now, curling at the base of his neck. Wonwoo is naturally pale, but his skin seems almost grey under his dark eye bags. He’s skinnier too, cheekbones and jawline much more pronounced. Wonwoo looks like he should be in a hospital instead of sitting here, listening to their teacher drone on about graphing.

The second the bell rings, Wonwoo shoots out of his seat and is out the room before Mingyu can stand. Mingyu hurriedly grabs his stuff, not bothering to stuff any books into his bag. Wonwoo hasn’t made it that far. Something stings as Mingyu recalls how fast Wonwoo used to storm down hallways, but now he’s just trailing listlessly.

Mingyu hesitates for a second, before calling out, “Wonwoo!”

Wonwoo stills, and Mingyu’s half expecting him to sprint down the hallway. He doesn’t. He turns slowly, but not completely. Tenses up, like he’s expecting a fight. “What do you want, Kim?”

Normally, Mingyu would roll his eyes at the typical posh way of referring to people by their last names, but Wonwoo sounds more tired than cold, looks closer to collapsing than scathing.

It’s strange, and off-putting, and Mingyu doesn’t like it at all. Of all things, he blurts out, “Did you get kidnapped?”

Wonwoo finally turns to face him fully, almost offended. “You’re an actual dumbass.”

“Then where were you?”

Wonwoo shrugs. “Maybe I just wanted a break before I had to see your insufferable face again.”

“Wonwoo –”

“None of your business, Kim.”

“So you did get kidnapped.”

“If I got kidnapped, you’d hear about it on the news. If you bothered to actually pay attention to things that matter.” Wonwoo gives him a cutting glare, and there seriously must be something wrong with Mingyu to find that comforting. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

Wonwoo’s pace is quicker this time, but Mingyu can still catch up to him. He doesn’t. He knows he’s going to see Wonwoo at the end of the day, anyway.

  
  
  
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Mingyu floats through the rest of his day in a dream-like state. None of his friends, not even Seokmin, comments on it, probably because they all can figure out why, or who, is sending Mingyu’s head into the clouds.

They don’t say anything when he only takes a bite of his bread roll and pushes around the salad on his plate. They don’t even say anything when he tries to eat his chicken wing with a spoon. Sunbin just calmly switches the spoon out for a fork. Mingyu’s friends, bless their souls, continue on like nothing is wrong.

Eventually, Mingyu makes it through dinner and tries to hold himself back from running all the way to his room. Wonwoo wasn’t at the cafeteria, but Mingyu couldn’t care less because Wonwoo is actually here.

Despite physically restraining himself from running up the flights of stairs, Mingyu still finds himself out of breath in front of his dorm door. He pauses, staring at the swirls in the wood, and pushes the door open.

At first, he doesn’t see anything. It’s night, but the heavy cream curtains are open and the lights are off. The hazy, golden light from the streetlamps outside casts the room in dramatic shadows. Mingyu slowly steps into the room and sees movement on Wonwoo’s side of the room. Before Mingyu screams bloody murder, Wonwoo flips on the lights with an unimpressed stare.

“Pity. Thought you’d be out later than this,” Wonwoo says with a sniff, then turns and resumes sorting through the pile of clothes on his bed. Mingyu’s skin is buzzing. Wonwoo’s really _here._

“What – you’re –”

“Use your words, Kim.”

“Why are you doing _laundry_ in the _dark_?”

“You walked in without knocking,” Wonwoo says, like that explains everything.

“It’s my room!” Mingyu exclaims. Already, he can feel his face flushing. It hasn’t even been five hours since Wonwoo’s been on campus and they’re already yelling at each other. Or, more of Mingyu yelling and Wonwoo raising his eyebrows.

“It’s _my_ room.”

Mingyu rubs a hand over his face. This is one of the well-worn arguments they’ve fought, one that flows so smoothly like a rehearsed scene, one that Mingyu can remember their fourteen year-old selves repeating, one that Mingyu already knows will never be resolved, but will be forgotten by tomorrow’s breakfast. Which means they’ll be yelling about it all night. Judging by Wonwoo’s bleary eyes, Mingyu isn’t the only one who wants to avoid the conflict, at least for today.

“You weren’t at dinner,” Mingyu chooses to say. There’s a million questions on the tip of his tongue, but from experience, he knows Wonwoo will just get annoyed faster. He always has to edge around the topic to get anything out of Wonwoo.

Wonwoo gathers up the neatly folded pile of pants, all black and possibly one charcoal, and places them into his closet. How was doing laundry even possible in the dark when 99% of his clothes were black? “I wasn’t in the mood for getting my hands sticky with sauce.”

“I thought you liked chicken wings.”

Wonwoo side-eyes him. “Yeah, well, some people have self-control. You wouldn’t know that, with how you stuff your face with bread all day.”

Mingyu feels the familiar surge of anger rise again. This always happens. Every time he tries once more to reach out the olive branch, Wonwoo douses it with oil and sets it aflame. Every time he reaches out a hand, Wonwoo smacks it away. It’s beyond insults at this point. They’ve said enough hurtful things to each other, thrown enough hard punches, for anything to really stick. That also means they know the quickest way to get under each other’s skin.

“And some people know how to be grateful for what they have. Obviously, you were never taught better manners.”

“That’s rich, coming from someone as sloppy as you.”

They’re retreating back into the old pattern again, talking in circles full of practiced insults but never progressing. Mingyu knows he should be better than this. Just seconds ago, he was ready to drop the fight. Now, he couldn’t care less. All the pent-up stress from his dropping marks, all the weeks without a verbal punching bag, they all add up into one overflowing pool of scathing lava directed Wonwoo’s way.

“Well, I’m _sorry_ not everyone can be as uptight and robotic as you. I’m sorry that people like me have emotions. I’m sorry, but I think you mistook ‘sloppy’ for happy.”

“Are you done running your mouth?” Wonwoo responds without missing a beat, calmly folding a grey scarf in half. Of course he’s still doing laundry in the middle of their fight. “Because I don’t have time to deal with your dramatics, Kim. If you don’t have anything productive to say, then shut it.”

“You want productive?” Mingyu snaps, lunging forward towards Wonwoo. Once upon a time, Wonwoo might have flinched at the sudden movement, but now, he just stares straight through Mingyu’s eyes and calls his bluff.

He stares straight through Mingyu’s eyes, and all Mingyu sees is emptiness. No anger, no distaste, no condescension. It’s enough to make Mingyu pause.

“I meant it when I said I don’t have time for this,” Wonwoo says, voice still mocking but less mechanical. Mingyu realizes Wonwoo was just following the script before this, just going through the motions to give Mingyu what he wants – a way to vent. “I have a hundred things on my to-do list, Kim, and wasting time arguing with you is definitely not one of them. So, if you could so _kindly_ leave and go flounce around with your friends for another few hours, I would greatly appreciate it.”

In those few seconds, Wonwoo managed to magic away all of Mingyu’s anger and replace it with shame. It’s a talent of his, how easy it is for him to embarrass Mingyu, to make Mingyu feel like the stupidest person in the world, to make Mingyu ashamed of showing any kind of emotion. Mingyu’s always the one overreacting, he’s always the one who crosses the line.

As Mingyu goes through his moment, face flushed and fists clenched, Wonwoo hangs up the last of his clothes. He doesn’t spare Mingyu a glance and walks right past him out the door. The message is clear: _I’d rather leave than spend another second in this room with you._

  
  
  
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Wonwoo’s really back.

His wardrobe is filled with black once again, and the room reeks of that goddamn cologne Wonwoo is addicted to. His desk is immaculately piled with books and bottles. Mingyu gets used to becoming a human alarm clock for nocturnal Wonwoo (no wonder he has eye bags looking like craters on the moon) and waiting for Wonwoo to take his sweet time in the bathroom.

Wonwoo’s back, but not like he used to be.

They rarely fight anymore, after whatever that was the first day Wonwoo was back, and it reminds Mingyu of first year again, when Wonwoo would barely even look his way. Even when Mingyu tosses him occasional jabs, Wonwoo just steadfastly ignores him. It bugs Mingyu even more when Wonwoo does that. Gives him the cold shoulder, like Mingyu’s existence is so far below him, is as tiny as a dust particle, that it doesn’t deserve a response.

But Mingyu is sure that this time around, it’s not because he did something dumb. More dumb than usual, at least. Wonwoo’s not sleeping properly, and no matter how often Mingyu tries to bug him, he doesn’t go down to the caf to eat unless it’s at the most irregular time. Wonwoo doesn’t even try to start arguments in class against their obnoxious Physics teacher anymore and practically curls in on himself whenever called upon.

Now, every time Mingyu walks into his room, he stays silent. He’s scared of saying the wrong thing, which is very likely, because he feels like he’ll puncture Wonwoo, leaving the boy to deflate.

“Something’s up with him,” Mingyu says to Jun over the phone. He scans through the books in the library for Huxley. “He’s like the actual living dead.”

“And that bothers you? Afraid he might chomp off part of your arm?”

“Well, yeah. It’s suspicious. What if he’s planning something? What if he offs me in my sleep?”

“Mingyu.”

He spots _Brave New World_ and grabs it off the shelf. “Yeah, yeah, I’m just joking. If he was going to kill me, he would have already done it.”

“If anything, he’d hire someone else to do it for him. Can’t get his little, aristocrat hands dirty.” Mingyu cracks a smile at that, but he doesn’t laugh as much as he would have before.

“He’s just – he’s off. I don’t think he’s necessarily in the best mood.” Mingyu slides the book onto the self-check-out machine.

“He’s never in a good mood. Especially not around you.”

“Oh, knock it off.”

“You don’t make it easier anyway, with how you pick fights with him all the time.”

Mingyu sighs as he stares up the flight of stairs leading to his room. It really gets tiring having to walk up and down four flights of stairs at least three times a day. “I’m laying off. There’s no point in fighting when he doesn’t even want to compete.”

“Did he ever want to compete?”

“What do you mean?” Mingyu finishes walking up the first flight and huffs. Despite being on the basketball team this season, he still gets out of breath from stairs. “He hates my guts. I’ve never seen him smile once. And it’s all because of the stupid feud between our families, but he somehow makes it personal.”

“Well, can’t you be nice to him anyway?”

Mingyu physically stops. “Are you insane?”

“I mean, it’s your last year. And you just said he seems to be having a rough time right now. He’s just a pretentious asshole, but he’s not a bad person. Maybe he needs space, but maybe he needs care from someone, too. His friends don’t seem like the touchy-feely type anyway. Besides, you’re good at that. Taking care of people.”

“I don’t think he’d want me, of all people, to care about him.” Mingyu rounds up the stairs to the lounge, where he sees a group of Snobs. Minghao and Jihoon are in the middle of the group, but Wonwoo’s absence sticks out the most. He’s probably holing himself up in their room.

“Just keep that in mind.” He hears scuffling on the other side, and the sound of a door opening, followed by familiar yelling. “Yikes, Soonyoung and Seokmin are back.”

“That’s our cue to hang up,” Mingyu laughs, before sliding his phone into his pocket.

He’s in front of his room, staring at the wooden door. It might as well be a wall, separating their two worlds. The second he enters, everything will fall silent and bleak, and he’ll feel like it’s impossible to breathe. Is this what Wonwoo felt all those times when he left their room?

Mingyu feels a random urge to knock before entering, but when have they ever had that kind of courtesy with each other? Still, he takes his time to make noise before he unlocks their room and slowly opens the door.

He half expects Wonwoo to sneer at him about stumbling around like a clumsy giraffe, but all he sees is Wonwoo huddled under the covers. Wonwoo’s a tad bit shorter than Mingyu, but he looks tiny curled up in his bed. It makes Mingyu’s stomach clench.

“Oh, shit,” Mingyu says out loud. He makes to leave the room. “I forgot my phone in the library. Better go back and get it.”

“Stop being annoying.”

Mingyu freezes, then looks back to see the covers thrown back and Wonwoo staring at the ceiling. His hair is rumpled, and he looks incredibly soft. Mingyu tries to assemble his face into a neutral expression, but he’ll never be able to achieve that as quickly as Wonwoo.

“You don’t have to hover around me. I’m not some fragile china doll,” Wonwoo says quietly. “That just makes it worse.”

“I – Okay,” Mingyu says. He stares down at _Brave New World,_ before choosing to toss his book across the room onto his bed. “I just came to drop this off before I head to dinner.”

Wonwoo pulls his covers back up before Mingyu can ask if he wants to head down for dinner with him. Just as well, since Mingyu will probably end up making it sound moronic. Still, he walks out of the room, light-headed and light-chested.

  
  
  
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“I’m telling you, you have to order pizza to your school at least once before you graduate. It’s one of the things you have to do in your school uniform,” Soonyoung exclaims, bringing a fist down on the table for emphasis. Except, it mainly just startles the girl sitting next to him and sends his fork clattering to the table.

“And how do you suggest going about it?” Sunbin asks, eyebrow arched.

“We can have someone wait by the gates for the delivery person. Easy peasy.”

“Yeah, but you’re forgetting the security cameras. Remember? That’s what busted you when you tried to ditch the welcome assembly?”

“Details,” Seokmin laughs, waving it off.

Mingyu rips apart his bread roll, nibbling absentmindedly at a corner of the roll. He doesn’t have enough room in his head to mull over multiple things at once, so he tunes out his friends’ latest scheme. Sunbin says he sometimes scares her, when his eyes go hard as he focuses wholeheartedly on one thing. He gets like this during tests and basketball games, and sometimes, although he refuses to admit it, because of Wonwoo.

Jun keeps shooting Mingyu these looks throughout the meal, like he knows just what’s going on through Mingyu’s head. Maybe he really is as predictable as Wonwoo keeps saying he is.

But Wonwoo always manages to throw Mingyu in for a loop. The way he told Mingyu to ‘stop being annoying’ sounded like he wanted things to go back to normal. It sounded like a truce. He sounded vulnerable, and maybe Mingyu was just gripping tightly onto his tiny string of hope, but maybe Jun was right.

Maybe this was the year Mingyu and Wonwoo stopped lunging for each other’s throats.

  
  
  
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After Mingyu comes back from dinner and finds Wonwoo in the same place he was before, except now covers were down and he was curled up on his bed with his laptop open and headphones on, Mingyu screws up all the determination he can find.

He calls out Wonwoo’s name. The boy doesn’t react. Mingyu moves closer, but Wonwoo must be blasting his emo music at top volume, so Mingyu bends down until he’s right in front of Wonwoo and waves his hand, yelling “Hey, dumbass!”

Wonwoo’s eyes dart to meet his, and widen almost comically, before he recoils. Banging his head on the wall, his headphones drag down his neck, and yup, Mingyu can clearly hear _Cute without the ‘E.’_ (Mingyu hates how he can recognize Wonwoo’s emo bands in a heartbeat.)

“What the fuck?” Wonwoo immediately glares, but he looks more scared than angry. Mingyu feels a little scared, too. He’s walking in uncharted territory, no man’s land. He’s offering himself on a silver platter, to be dissected and bitten to pieces. “Do you have no concept of personal space?”

“I called your name three times,” Mingyu says. He sits down on Wonwoo’s bed, knowing how much the latter hates it.

“Get off,” Wonwoo bites out. When Mingyu doesn’t shift, Wonwoo rolls his eyes and makes to put on his headphones again.

“Wait.” Mingyu grabs onto Wonwoo’s arm. At Wonwoo’s raised eyebrow, Mingyu quickly says, “Give me three questions. Then I’ll leave you alone.”

Wonwoo stares at him, at the hand Mingyu still has wrapped around Wonwoo’s arm. Mingyu lets go, but Wonwoo doesn’t move. “If one of those questions are about why I missed school, I will throw all your clothes out the balcony.”

“Fine.” Mingyu knows he’s not joking. It’s happened before. “Did you eat dinner yet?”

Wonwoo’s eyes narrow suspiciously. “What kind of a question is that?”

“Just answer it.”

“Fine. I didn’t eat.”

“When was the last time you ate? Lunch? Breakfast?” Wonwoo looks away. “Did you eat anything at all today?”

“You have stupid questions,” Wonwoo mutters, reaching for his headphones again.

“Last one.”

Wonwoo stills. The light from his laptop shines his face in grey.

“Are you okay?” Mingyu asks softly.

Something passes over Wonwoo’s face, before it’s replaced with a look Mingyu’s all too familiar with, a look Mingyu’s seen the first day Wonwoo locked eyes with him in this room. Jaw clenched and face pale with anger, Wonwoo slams his laptop shut.

Mingyu stands up as Wonwoo’s on his way out the door, but he knows nothing he says will make Wonwoo stay. Whenever they fight, Wonwoo’s always the one leaving. Mingyu used to wonder if it’s because Wonwoo knows he has nowhere to go (Sunbin’s room is clearly off limits and Seokmin and the rest are already crowded enough), but it’s probably just because Wonwoo knows the fastest way to get rid of Mingyu is to simply leave.

Mingyu’s used to seeing Wonwoo’s back as he leaves, but that doesn’t make it sting any less.

  
  
  
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“You were wrong,” Mingyu bites out as he plops down at breakfast the following morning. Only Jun and Sunbin were at the table, which Mingyu is thankful for because he can’t deal with Seokmin and Soonyoung after a sleepless night. It’s the weekend, so the two were probably sleeping in.

“Wow, you look like hell,” Jun says, hand propping his head up.

“Thanks for your input, Jun,” Mingyu bites back. Jun raises his eyebrows, and Mingyu pauses, collecting himself, before continuing, “Sorry, I didn’t get enough sleep last night, so I’m a little. Yeah.”

“So why didn’t you sleep? Is it related to why I’m wrong?”

“I listened to your advice. And I fucked up. All I did was kick him out again. He usually only leaves when we end up bleeding, and that happens like once a semester. This is the second time in a week.”

Sunbin stares at him for a long moment. “Isn’t that what you always wanted to do? Piss him off?”

“I – no. Yes.” Mingyu stares down at his bread rolls and cereal. “Maybe.”

“Are you aware you just gave every possible answer to my question?”

“Sunbin, you’re going to make his brain explode,” Jun nudges Sunbin’s shoulder. To Mingyu, he motions behind him. “Look behind you.”

Mingyu glances over his shoulder, at first seeing nothing but masses of people. “What am I supposed to be looking at?”

“Do you see Minghao?”

Mingyu snorts, “It’s impossible not to see his obnoxious hair.”

Just as he’s about to launch into another tirade about Minghao or Jun or everyone in this dining hall, Mingyu sees it. Sitting beside Minghao is Wonwoo. He’s picking at his food, taking tiny bites occasionally, but he’s there.

“Guess we didn’t fuck up, after all,” Jun says.


	2. a slip into a storm

Mingyu waits in front of the tall mahogany doors to will his heart to stop pounding. He runs his fingers through his hair for a last-minute clean-up and tugs at his blazer to smooth out any creases. He sucks in a deep breath and knocks.

“Come in,” a voice calls out.

His stomach threatens to jump to his throat but Mingyu swallows it down and pushes open the heavy doors. He squints at first, adjusting to the sunlight backlighting the figure in the leather chair before the window. He feels like he’s fourteen again. He feels like he’s the chosen orphan out of his group of scraggly kids, the one that was lucky enough to find a home.

“What are you waiting for?” Headmaster Kim asks. “Come take a seat.”

Mingyu walks past the immaculate bookshelves and walls of certificates and achievements to the chair in front of Headmaster Kim’s pristine, black desk. He sinks down into the seat, eyes straying to the computer in front of Headmaster Kim. Mingyu’s grades are probably plastered on the screen.

“How’s your school year been going so far?”

Mingyu tries not to flinch, face already growing hot at the reminder of his below-average grade. He chooses to say, “It’s been difficult, but I’m improving.”

“I’ve heard. You’re doing well recently. Your average has increased to 93, which is exactly what I expected you to hold at the start of the year. I’m sure you understand that you have to work even harder to maintain this. University applications are due in three months.”

Mingyu nods, tongue heavy and dumb in his mouth.

“Is there a teacher you’re having trouble with? Physics, perhaps?”

The teacher’s nothing but annoying. She favours students, despite it being a course relying purely on numbers. But of course Mingyu can’t say that. “I just need to study more.”

“Alright. As long as you know how to improve. You’re attending your basketball practices regularly, as well?”

“Yes, we have a game tomorrow.”

“And you’re on the starting line-up, I presume?”

Mingyu nods again. He knows better than to ask if Headmaster Kim will come watch. He’s not allowed to show favouritism after all.

“That’s good. It’ll make up for your marks. That’ll be it for today.” Mingyu lets out a sigh of relief, but an inexplicable part of him wants their conversation to last a little longer, even if it’s more of an interrogation than an actual conversation.

“Okay, thank you,” Mingyu says for some reason, like he’s thanking the Headmaster for even allocating some time out of his busy day for Mingyu.

“I have a meeting in five.” Headmaster Kim shuffles some papers and Mingyu takes it as a cue to stand up. “I hope we’ll have another one of these chats soon. Have a good day, Mingyu.”

“You too, sir,” Mingyu manages out. He’s awfully aware of how he walks, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other until he’s out of the stifling room. He’s careful with his steps, with his words. It’s a ridiculously large room, but he’s never felt more confined.

Once he shuts the doors behind him, he turns to flash a smile at the receptionist, Jisoo. Mingyu’s supposed to call him Mr. Hong, but Jisoo’s probably the only person in the whole world to know all of the Kims’ secrets, so Mingyu thinks he deserves more than formalities.

“Another grilling session?” Jisoo says, smiling sympathetically. He pushes his jar of gummy bears towards Mingyu.

Mingyu picks out a white one, his favourite flavour. He pops the whole thing in his mouth. “Yeah, but I’m kind of glad. It’s the first time I’ve talked to him since school started.”

Jisoo gives him another one of those looks. On anyone else, Mingyu would find it annoying. “He’s just relieved that you’re doing well again.”

“Yeah, at least now I know he’s still invested in me. If I was still pulling below 80 marks, he’d never talk to me again.”

Jisoo frowns. “Don’t say that.”

“You know he’d give up on me, if I didn’t prove to him that I was worth something,” Mingyu says. He tries to keep his tone light, but it’s Jisoo and he’s looking at him with those kind eyes, so his voice comes out a little quiet, a little weak.

Before Jisoo can say anything, his phone beeps. Jisoo glances down at his phone before he shoots Mingyu an apologetic look. “You want to head down to class?”

Mingyu knows it’s coded language for _Headmaster Kim is going to come out for his meeting and he won’t be happy seeing you loitering by his receptionist_ , but Jisoo’s too kind to say it point-blank like that. Mingyu just takes one more gummy bear before heading to the stairs.

He wipes his mind clear of any uncomfortable emotions and tells himself to focus on winning his next basketball game. That’s all that matters for now. After all, he has to hold up his end of the bargain.

 

-

 

Mingyu spends the rest of his evening shooting hoops in the outside courts to make up for the practices he missed at the start of the season and to calm the nerves for their upcoming opening game. He’s finally satisfied when sweat drenches his back and the texture of the ball is ingrained in his palm.

It’s a little after midnight when Mingyu heads up to his dorm and is stopped by a security guard, but is excused on the basis of extracurriculars. Clubs and teams are allowed to run past curfew, although it’s not suggested in case students burn out. Mingyu feels the burn as he climbs up the torture that is four flights of stairs, knowing he still has to finish an essay for English tomorrow and textbook questions for Advanced Functions and Physics.

He stumbles his way into his room, not flipping on the lights in case he wakes Wonwoo, and beelines for the bathroom. It’s hard to keep quiet through his nighttime routine when his limbs feel like lead and he can barely keep his eyes open, but Mingyu still tries.

Turns out his efforts are for nothing when he exits the bathroom to find Wonwoo sitting upright, hair ruffled from sleep, with his bedside lamp on.

“Did I wake you?” Mingyu asks quietly.

Wonwoo glares at him, but his squinting, tired eyes makes him look more grumpy than angry. “No, Kim, I just thought waking up at one in the morning would be a blast.”

An apology perches on the tip of Mingyu’s tongue, but he knows Wonwoo won’t appreciate it. They’ve fought before about Mingyu coming in late, yet the tentative truce between them seems to keep the tempers at bay. They’ve argued countless times already, naturally, but it hasn’t escalated to the point where fists are thrown yet. The nurses have even set up a “__ days since Mingyu and Wonwoo were here” poster in the infirmary.

Mingyu drapes his towel around his neck, shuffling towards his desk. “I’d tell you to go back to sleep, but I still have work to do. I can… I don’t know, work in the bathroom, or something.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Wonwoo says. He lays back down and turns the other way, but he leaves the light on.

Mingyu stares at Wonwoo’s motionless frame, feeling a tug of guilt because he knows Wonwoo’s eye bags aren’t going away anytime soon and Mingyu’s definitely not helping. But Wonwoo will just snap at him if he does anything but work at his desk.

After a moment of consideration, Mingyu pulls out the candles Sunbin gave him for Christmas that he keeps in the cabinet of his desk. He’s never used them because he’s not certain if they’re allowed in the dorms, but for tonight, he’ll risk it. Mingyu squints at the packaging. _Honey Pine._ He shrugs to himself and lights the candle with a lighter. A small waft of a sweet, earthy scent drifts to him, and he feels his eyelids grow heavier already.

Shaking himself out of it, Mingyu pulls himself up and over to Wonwoo’s bed, where he flicks off the lamp. The room’s immediately cast into a warm, gentle glow from the candle, punctuated by the soft, sweet scent masking over Wonwoo’s cologne. Wonwoo's side of the room is relatively dark, and hopefully it’s enough for him to sleep through Mingyu’s late night endeavors.

Plopping down into his seat, Mingyu gets to work on his textbook questions first before he drifts off. Just in case he doesn’t finish, he sets his alarm for six o’clock to proofread the garbage essay he’s about to produce in his half-conscious state.

After wrapping up his conclusion sentence, Mingyu finally succumbs to his weariness. He rests his head on the table, too tired to even close his laptop, and falls asleep to the smell of pine and honey and the sound of Wonwoo’s even breathing.

 

-

 

Mingyu wakes with a jolt. In a flash of panic, he scrambles for his phone and swears at the mocking 8:05 AM flashing in his face. He slept through his alarm, of course, and now he’s going to fail English and Headmaster Kim will be disappointed and never see him again –

A blanket he doesn’t remember grabbing falls from his body to the ground. Mingyu stares at it, confused, then finally notices the new additions to his desktop. A cooling cup of coffee sits beside his printed essay. Mingyu flips through his paper, and at the end, plastered over his conclusion, is a bright green sticky-note.

_Go back to kindergarten and learn how to spell. But your points and evidence are clear._

Like the note suggests, the only modifications to his essay are spelling, grammar, and general, little mistakes caused by the late hour. Still woozy and sleep-deprived, Mingyu wonders if he’s still dreaming. Maybe his fairy godmother finally decided to show up and save Mingyu from failing school. Maybe he sleep-walked to the library and printed out his essay last night. Whatever reason his tired mind is trying to provide, the cramped, snarky handwriting on the sticky note is unmistakably Wonwoo’s.

Mingyu takes a sip of his unbearably sweet coffee. Only Wonwoo has a sweet tooth this terrible at 17 years old. He glances at his candle, wick already half burnt out. Another green note sits over the candle label.

_Now we’re even._

Long after the caffeine has entered his system, the sugar still remains in his mouth.

 

-

 

The one place where Mingyu can put away his thoughts is the basketball court. Any conflicting emotions, any pressing issues are drowned out by the rhythmic thumping of the ball against the gym floor. His focus is split between the position of his teammates around the court, the press of his fingerpads against the ball, and the squeak of his shoes as he makes sharp turns.

“Mingyu!” Minghao shouts, and Mingyu sees that he’s open. He makes a quick pass towards Minghao.

They both start sprinting down the court, chased by the opposing players from Lyon Prep. Following their familiar play, right as Minghao has his shot blocked, he makes a ground pass to Mingyu who makes a clean layup.

The audience in the bleachers start screaming louder than usual, chanting Mingyu’s name mixed with Eastridge Prep’s school cheer. Minghao shoots him a small grin as they resume their positions on court.

Off court, they may be at each other’s throats, but on court, they make a pretty good team.

Number 10 from Lyon Prep makes the pass towards Number 6, who takes it and sprints down the court. Hansol’s got him covered and blocks him cleanly, forcing 6 to take a shot. The ball tips past Hansol’s raised hands and is caught by 3, who takes a shot that goes in.

Wiping sweat from his forehead, Mingyu claps Hansol on the back. Their coach is pacing on the sidelines, a clear sign that he’s stressed. It’s a close game, and Lyon’s beat them the previous year, so every shot in their net brings down the whole team’s morale considerably.

Minghao takes the throw-in and makes eye contact with Mingyu, who’s covered by two people, then flickers to Chan. It’s a play they haven’t practiced before, but the team’s getting stressed.

Right as the ball leaves Minghao’s hands, Mingyu breaks away from his defenders and sprints down the court. Chan’s pass is as reliable as ever and makes it to Mingyu, who jumps to take a shot, and as if his body realizes what’s about to happen, he already knows his shot won’t go in.

Mid-jump, he feels someone slam into him, and his throw veers off course to hit the edge of the backboard. It’s an odd sensation, being suspended in air, knowing what’s to come. It’s happened before, when Wonwoo knocked him down the stairs or when Minghao pulled out his chair right as Mingyu was about to sit down.

He lands painfully on his arm, but not bad enough to have torn or broken something. From his position on the ground, he sees some members of the audience stand up out of concern, their cheers dying down. It’s hard to tell, but one person in particular, right by the exit, looks suspiciously like Wonwoo. His dark, floppy hair and his sharp features, although viewed horizontally, catches Mingyu’s eye.

Before he can make sure, hands are on him to help him back up. Everyone’s talking at once, and Mingyu’s head is still throbbing from the fall. As the ref calls for three foul shots, he sees Minghao shove past Number 11 from Lyon, probably the guy who fouled him.

Mingyu steps up to the foul line, palming the ball. Although he’s always the one to take the foul shots, the coach was hesitant for him to step up this time because he missed a couple practices and he just got knocked to the ground. Still, Mingyu feels the audience’s eyes on him (or one audience member, in particular), and makes his choice.

The familiar thrumming of his nerves settles in his stomach as Mingyu slows his breathing. The first shot’s always the worst. Most people try to imagine that they’re alone on court, just practicing, in fear that the pressure will get to them. But Mingyu has lived with pressure all of his high school career. Mingyu focuses on the one person who makes him nervous the most.

He throws, and it goes in.

The crowd from the bleachers screams. Daehyun fetches the ball and passes it to Mingyu, who dribbles it three times. High on the crowd chanting his name, Mingyu takes the next shot quickly.

It hits the backboard, a little too high, but it falls in.

Letting slip a small, relieved smile, Mingyu grabs tightly onto his last shot. He thinks of expectations. He thinks of sneers and dark circles and round spectacles.

His last shot goes in with a clean whoosh.

The cheers from the audience send adrenaline running through his veins. Mingyu looks through the bleachers, searching by the exit for that one familiar face, but his coach yells at him to stop spoiling his fans and get his head back in the game.

It doesn’t make sense, anyway, for Wonwoo to show up at his basketball game, not when it contains all three things Wonwoo hates: basketball, crowds, and Mingyu.

The last quarter of the game passes by in snippets. Now that Mingyu’s sure nobody important is watching, he’s fine with letting the others take the spotlight. He makes the right passes, takes shots when the opportunity’s open, but he doesn’t fight for it. Chan scores their last winning two-pointer before the buzzer ends the game.

They head off to the change rooms after doing the traditional “Good game” high-five line with Lyon Prep. Minghao claps Mingyu on the back and shoots a quick “good job.” Mingyu’s startled at how Minghao doesn’t look like he wants to stab himself after complimenting him. Despite their teamwork on court, Minghao and Mingyu never talk right after a game, let alone acknowledge the other’s skill.

After they’ve changed and grabbed their bags, Mingyu returns the favour. “This was one of your best games, Minghao.”

“I know.” Minghao makes a face at him, more funny than unpleasant. Right as Mingyu turns to leave because wow, that was a bad idea, Minghao calls out, “Thanks.”

Mingyu faces Minghao again, slightly confused. “You’re welcome?”

“Ugh, this is awkward,” Minghao mutters. He runs a hand through his already messy hair, and Mingyu valiantly refrains from making any comments about the annoyingly bright colour. “You and I both know we don’t do this –” Minghao gestures between him and Mingyu, “– friendly thing. But it’s kind of thanks to you that Wonwoo’s back. So.”

Mingyu goes from vaguely confused to what-universe-am-I-in confused. “I’m not the reason he came back to school. I should be the reason why he left school.”

“No, you don’t get it.” Mingyu can tell Minghao’s holding back from rolling his eyes, which is a first. “You’re why he’s back to normal. To old Wonwoo, not silent, ghost Wonwoo.”

Mingyu thinks of Wonwoo eating meals regularly again, of mouthing off at their Physics teacher, of snapping whenever Mingyu pissed him off more than usual. He thinks of Wonwoo hanging out with the Snobs again, of proofread essays and overdoses of sugar and _don’t be an idiot._ He thinks of Wonwoo’s cologne greeting him like morning coffee.

“That’s a huge assumption,” Mingyu manages, tongue heavy in his mouth.

“Well,” Minghao shrugs. “Jihoon and I could barely get through to him the past week or so. And you’re the only one he interacts with besides us. So we figured it must have been something you did.”

It’s fair to say Mingyu’s head has probably exploded. He’s still riding the high from their first win of the season, he just got knocked to the ground, and he’s now currently holding the longest, most civil conversation he’s ever had with Minghao. Now, Mingyu has to wrap his mind around him having the power to affect Wonwoo that much. Wonwoo listened to _Mingyu_ , not Jihoon or Minghao or any of the other Snobs, but his nemesis roommate.

“Hey, um,” Minghao shuffles, looking more uncomfortable than ever. “I know you and Wonwoo would rather drink bleach than exchange friendship bracelets, so how did you do it?”

“I don’t know,” Mingyu responds, somewhat helplessly. “I just asked him questions.”

Minghao raises his eyebrows, but probably sees the state of Mingyu’s brain, so he takes mercy on him and sails out the door with one last meaningful look.

Mingyu knows he excels under expectations, but the pressure on his shoulders now is immense.

 

-

 

Mingyu pants as he reaches the top landing of his stairs. He glances up, and groans, “I’m too tired to deal with this.”

All the confusion and bumbling thoughts dissipates from his mind, leaving him with the same bitter feeling he had the last time he spoke with Soyi. The girl in question faces him from where she’s waiting in the lounge. Mingyu waits for an emotional reaction, a punch to the gut or an ache in his chest. 

“Mingyu,” Soyi starts. Nothing. He feels nothing. Tired and annoyed that she’s here, but that’s how he feels about Minghao, too. She’s not special. Not anymore.

“I know you’re not waiting for me,” Mingyu says, making his way past her to his dorm.

She grabs onto his sleeve. “Don’t you think we should talk?”

“Don’t you think you’re a few months late?”

“I’m sorry, Mingyu.” Soyi bites her lip. Mingyu remembers when he used to find that habit cute, but now he just sees how uncertain and insecure she is. “You never gave me the chance.”

He gently pries her fingers off his sleeve. “Maybe you should have tried harder.”

“What was I supposed to do? You blocked all my calls and turned the other way whenever I saw you in the halls!”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have hooked up with Wonwoo then.” Mingyu shrugs his shoulders. “That’s who you’re waiting for, right?”

Soyi drops her head. She’s cut her hair since their break up, but it’s still long enough to cover her face. Mingyu frowns at the sight. It’s not like she’s the first girl to date Wonwoo after Mingyu, so he expected that she would react the same way his other exes would: call Wonwoo a dick and move on. Yet she’s still clearly hung up on Wonwoo.

“Soyi,” Mingyu sighs. She looks seconds away from crying. Maybe they didn’t end on a good note, but Mingyu’s not going to turn his back on someone clearly hurting. “You want to talk? Let’s talk. I’ll give you the chance right now, so the least you can do is be honest with me.”

She raises her head, eyes wide, and watches as Mingyu sits down on a couch. At his pointed stare, she follows and sits at a diagonal from him, facing the fireplace. Mingyu waits until they’re settled before he fires, “Why did you date me in the first place?”

Like she’s held the speech inside her for months, she says without missing a beat, “I know you think I didn’t like you, but I did. Everyone likes you. I mean, look at you. You’re the headmaster’s son, all tall, dark, and handsome. I can go on and on about everything that makes you attractive. I really did like you.”

“But you liked Wonwoo more.”

Soyi’s chewing on her lip again. “You’re… you two are different. Some girls like you more than him, but for me, I just – I like you, but I’m in love with him.”

“Love?” Mingyu tries to stifle a laugh. She glares at him, but he can’t help it. “Sorry, but we’re in high school. Love’s a myth here.”

“I know, and I know how dumb it sounds because I barely talk to him and he probably hates my guts now. That’s why I decided to give it one more shot before I gave up and focused on school. So I confessed to you.”

“What do I have to do with this?”

“You haven’t heard the rumours?” Soyi sounds almost alarmed. She stares as Mingyu stares back, confused. “Haven’t you noticed the trend between your exes and Wonwoo’s exes?”

Mingyu feels a prickling under his skin. He hears Minghao’s voice again. You’re why he’s back to normal. “I never really – I don’t know.”

But he does. He has noticed.

“If a girl wants to score a date with Wonwoo, they should go after you first. That’s the rule.”

He just forced himself not to acknowledge it.

“That’s bullshit.”

“Well, bullshit works.”

“That’s why you approached me? To score a date with Wonwoo? Is that why I even got a date in the first place?”

Soyi leans forward, lips turning down, almost pityingly. Mingyu stops himself from recoiling. “I’m not saying all your exes dated you for Wonwoo. I’m just saying there’s this correlation. He’s always made a move on your exes.”

Despite Mingyu’s silence as he tries to let it sink in, Soyi continues, “I broke up with you not because you were a shit boyfriend, but because I was a shit person. I thought that the rumours were false and that Wonwoo wasn’t going to give me the time of the day, so I just ended things on the last day of school before I strung you along any further.”

“Turns out the rumours were true,” Mingyu murmurs.

“Turns out they were,” Soyi echoes, but glances back up at Mingyu. “I’m sorry. I really am. I’m not trying to dump my apology on you, and it’s long overdue, but I just want you to know that I’m sorry if I hurt you. I’m sorry that I used you like that.”

“Yeah, it was a pretty shitty thing to do,” Mingyu says. “But I mean, you could tell I wasn’t invested anyway.”

Soyi nods, breaking into a small smile. “I remember you told me about how every relationship would end in marriage or a break-up, and that I shouldn’t have any expectations because you weren’t going to marry me because of your father. I still should have treated you better, though.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t regret dating you. It was very educational.”

“How romantic,” Soyi laughs.

“Hate to break it up, Romeo, but curfew’s in fifteen.”

Mingyu startles at the low, unmistakable voice and out of the corner of his eye, he sees Soyi freeze, smile melting off her face. Standing at the top of the staircase behind them is Wonwoo. Dressed in jeans and a casual grey hoodie with round spectacles perched on the bridge of his nose, the soft look contrasts with his sharp, cold countenance. He strides across the lounge to their dorm.

Mingyu sees Soyi’s face fall at how Wonwoo completely ignored her. That image joins the compilation of his exes ending up with Wonwoo at some point or another, forming an ongoing loop. Mingyu feels a flash of anger at the revelation that he’s always tried to repress. He gave Wonwoo the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they just had extremely similar tastes, or maybe the timing was just convenient. But the fact that girls had approached Mingyu on purpose to get to Wonwoo not only pricks his pride, but also destroys what little trust he gave to his roommate.

He stares at Wonwoo’s retreating back, a stupid plan forming in mind. He can prove the rumours wrong. He can show that this is just merely coincidence, that Wonwoo’s not trying to sabotage Mingyu’s relationships.

So Mingyu blurts out, “Soyi, can we get back together?”

“What?” Soyi physically flinches out of her frozen state, mouth dropping wide open. She glances over at Wonwoo, who’s stopped walking, but is still facing away. She glances back at Mingyu, who half-shrugs, half-smiles. Realization dawns, and she gives him a full-out beam, “Of course. Mingyu! You want to come to next Friday’s Halloween party as my date? It’s at my floor’s residence.”

“I’ll be there.”

And just like that, Soyi’s the fastest date Mingyu scored. By the time Mingyu turns around again, Wonwoo’s gone. Soyi takes her leave as well, and as Mingyu makes his way to his room, he wonders how he’s going to fall asleep with his heart beating so quickly. It’s impulsive and idiotic, but it’s not dangerous. For once, he did something purely out of instinct, and there’s no way Wonwoo’s going to end up chasing after the same ex twice, so he doesn’t even know why he bothered to suggest the plan. It’s just harmless stupidity.

He enters their room, eyes shooting to Wonwoo’s bed. It’s neatly made, with his bag thrown over the covers. He probably came back from the library, and Mingyu kind of hates how he can tell just from Wonwoo’s outfit, how he knows that the only time Wonwoo wears his glasses and hoodie combo is when he’s studying. He’s distracted by the sound of water running in the bathroom.

Mingyu sits down on his bed, trying to assemble a natural position. He ends up sitting against his headboard, feet stretched out in front of him, but that means he’s facing the bathroom. It’ll look like he’s waiting for Wonwoo to finish his shower, which he’s most definitely not doing. Frowning, Mingyu sits at his desk instead. He pulls open his binders, flipping through them without bothering to read any of his notes, feeling like a gigantic idiot.

Finally, the water shuts off and Wonwoo opens the door. Mingyu casually grabs his pajamas from his bed and stands up just as Wonwoo walks out, hair damp and dressed in sweats. Mingyu stares for a moment, waiting for some kind of reaction, but Wonwoo just ignores him and goes to his side of the room.

“Soyi wasn’t looking for me,” Mingyu feels the need to say. Wonwoo stills, hand on top of his bag. “Who else would she have come here for?”

He holds his breath, thinking Wonwoo is going to give him the cold shoulder. Instead, Wonwoo says, “The wrong person.”

“Won’t you hear her out?”

Wonwoo looks up, unimpressed. “I’m not fond of wasting my time or boring myself to death, so no.”

“Why did you –” Mingyu bites his lip, thinking better of it. “Did you even like her?”

Wonwoo stares at him for a heavy moment, face emotionless save for his tightened jaw. Then he turns back to his bag and takes out his work. “The bathroom light’s still on. Go take your shower.”

Mingyu takes it as the deflection it is. He turns on the shower with a feeling akin to relief pooling in his stomach.

 

-

 

Sunbin kicks his shin under the table when Soyi plops her plate beside Mingyu at breakfast. _She works fast,_ Mingyu thinks while avoiding Sunbin’s pointed glare.

“Good morning, Mingyu,” Soyi beams at Mingyu, like the past few months never happened.

He mirrors her, giving her his well-worn smile. “Morning, Soyi.”

“What is she doing here?” Sunbin asks icily, pointedly not looking in Soyi’s direction. Jun’s frozen, spoon halfway to his mouth and Soonyoung and Seokmin exchange looks over Sunbin’s head.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Soyi leans her head on Mingyu’s shoulder, pretending like Sunbin isn’t this close from stabbing a hole into the table with her fork. “We’re back together.”

The whole table goes silent and, as if it’s contagious, the surrounding tables begin to look over at Soyi and Mingyu. By lunch, the whole school will probably hear about the star couple getting back together. Their school’s large, but he’s the headmaster’s adopted son, forever in the spotlight.

“Did I ask you?” Sunbin finally looks Soyi in the eye. “Don’t you know it’s rude to speak when not spoken to? But then again, you never know when to shut up, do you?”

Soyi’s smile immediately vanishes, and she straightens but leaves her hand on Mingyu’s arm. “What’s rude is talking about someone like they’re not even here. Then again, I don’t expect any more from a charity case like you.”

“Soyi,” Mingyu says warningly and pulls away, letting her hand drop between them. Her ability to fight and stand on her own, her ruthless pursuit of her ambitions, all this drew him to her before. But now, he just wants to duct-tape her mouth.

Sunbin’s mouth twists cruelly. “Going back to my scholarship, are we now? That’s the only thing you can pick on? I think you should worry about your 60 average before you judge someone else’s academic achievements.”

“You bitch –”

“Oh, I’m the bitch? I’m not the one making everyone’s morning hell. Why don’t you run away to your other boytoys and stop leeching off of Mingyu?”

“Hey,” Soonyoung rests a hand on Sunbin’s wrist, a warning. He looks at Mingyu and nods towards Soyi. “You should probably go.”

Mingyu nods, swallowing hard as he grabs Soyi’s arm and leads her out of the caf. He passes by Wonwoo’s table and risks a glance, not expecting Wonwoo to be staring right back at him, with one unimpressed eyebrow raised. He heard all of it. Mingyu feels heat rush to his face and quickens his pace until they’re safely out in the corridor.

Mingyu wheels on her, wrestling his features into a pretence of apathy, knowing it won’t end well if he blows up at her. “If you’re going to keep this up, we’re done.”

“Wow, a relationship that lasted, what, nine hours? That should be a whole new record,” Soyi laughs, completely unruffled.

“I’m not kidding. When I asked you to get back together, that didn’t mean it was okay for you to antagonize my friends. You and I both know you need this more than me.”

“If your guard dog didn’t lunge at me, it wouldn’t have been an issue,” Soyi says, dropping the smile. “It’s not my problem she has a stick up her ass.”

“I don’t care, leave Sunbin alone. I don’t know why you two hate each other so much, but you knew to stay away from her even back when we were dating. You never joined us for meals, either. So whatever games you’re playing, knock it off.”

“It’s not – It was just for today. I needed people to talk about us, and there’s no faster way than to make a scene in the caf.”

“Wonwoo already knows. Shouldn’t that be enough?”

“He’s smart, Mingyu. You’ve never gotten back together with an ex before. He’s going to think something’s up, so we can’t just avoid each other until the party and pretend like we’re in love the day of.”

“You don’t think it’s weird that we’re arguing in the caf?”

“We didn’t argue.” Soyi crosses her arms. “We’re arguing now, but back there, it was just between me and your bodyguards.”

Mingyu lets out a frustrated huff. “At least give me a heads up before you spring something like that on me. You can’t just expect me to go along with anything you pull.”

“Yeah, that’s fair. But don’t worry, I know you’re a good actor.” Soyi has the nerve to wink at him before taking steps away. “You can keep up.”

Mingyu doesn’t bother watching her leave. His headache’s returning full force. It started off as harmless stupidity, but now it’s shaping up to be a major inconvenience instead. He can’t even blame her that much, because he was the one who offered to give her a hand, all the while meaning to use her to help him figure out what Wonwoo is really up to.

He started this mess, and he could call it off any second now. But at the thought of Wonwoo’s impenetrable, unimpressed stare, Mingyu can’t bring himself to cancel the plan. He’s willing to suffer a hundred more headaches and a hundred more Soyis to see a crack in Wonwoo’s walls.

 

-

 

Mingyu should have prepared himself better. He knows what Soyi’s like when she has her mind fixated on one goal. Once upon a time, he was her end goal. He should have known that to make up for not hanging around him 24/7, she’ll find other ways to show off that he’s hers.

Such as visiting his dorm.

Mingyu is a second away from shutting the door in her face, if not for Wonwoo’s heavy stare on his back. He settles with whispering, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Oh, I just wanted to visit my boyfriend before Functions,” she responds loudly. She peeks over his shoulder at Wonwoo but knows better than to greet him.

“Sorry, but you can’t come in,” Mingyu says, leaning towards her in an attempt to crowd her out of his room. “Girls aren’t allowed here. You know that.”

“Okay, fine,” Soyi pouts. She opens her arms. “Give me a hug, at least.”

Mingyu risks a glance behind him at Wonwoo, who’s sitting at his desk, turned away from them, with his headphones on. He lets out a sigh and complies, giving Soyi a quick squeeze before pushing her gently out and closing the door on her smug grin. Ruffling his hair, he looks back at Wonwoo again. Frustration bubbles in his chest at Wonwoo’s complete disinterest.

“That won’t happen again,” Mingyu calls out, trying to force Wonwoo to acknowledge what just happened.

Wonwoo makes a non-committal sound, not turning around. So he heard everything Soyi said.

“I didn’t ask her to come.”

Finally Wonwoo shuts the book he’s reading and pulls off his headphones. He pins Mingyu with an undecipherable stare. “I didn’t ask you to explain.”

“So you don’t mind?”

Wonwoo ignores him and pulls on his headphones, which is response enough.

Whenever Mingyu’s girlfriends came to his dorm before, Wonwoo would go tight-lipped and leave the room as fast as he could. Now, he’s not even tensing up. If Mingyu doesn’t know any better, it could have been Soonyoung or Seokmin at the door instead of Soyi based on Wonwoo’s reaction, or lack of one.

Mingyu stares at Wonwoo searchingly, not exactly knowing if he’s looking for taut lines, tense muscles, anything, before he drops the conversation. Even a fight would have been more progress than silence.

 

-

 

The rest of his week leading up to Friday passes in bursts of upset friends, academics, and Soyi. Every other day, Mingyu eats lunch or dinner with Soyi. He walks her to class, carries her books, waves to her during his games. It strangely reminds him of his past relationships, with the addition of a much angrier Sunbin and an underlying detachment.

“So I was thinking,” Soyi says, pulling out a folder. “We need to have couple costumes.”

Mingyu nods, completely zoning out. They’re sitting by the fountain in front of the school for lunch. Mingyu doesn’t like eating his meals out of the caf, but Sunbin thought it would make a cute date. He does admit that the water spraying behind them is refreshing, pretty, and drowns out Soyi.

“I can order them online today and it’ll arrive by tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

“So all you have to do is pick, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Superman and Wonder Woman, Joker and Harley Quinn, and Jim and Pam. Which one do you want?”

“Okay.”

Soyi blinks at him, finally realizing that he hasn’t been listening. She whacks him on the leg. “Mingyu, this is important. Do you want to be the cutest couple at Halloween or not?”

“Not particularly,” Mingyu says. He stares at the poutine in Soyi’s hands. She’s not even half finished and he’s already done with his meal.

“Mingyu.”

“I just don’t see the point. We’re not even going to show up together, since it’s held at your residence. I can swing by wearing whatever, and we’ll hang out at the party with your friends. Then we’ll split up.”

“But we need to put on a show! If we’re going to screw with everyone, we should at least have fun doing it, shouldn’t we?”

Mingyu tries to keep judgement out of his tone, but it’s difficult. “And your idea of fun is dressing up in couple costumes?”

“Okay, fine,” Soyi huffs and crosses her arms. “Is this because I’ve been dragging you on dates all week long? Fine. Take some control in this relationship. What do you want to dress up as?”

Mingyu hesitates, “I don’t know. I haven’t dressed up in a while for Halloween. Something classic, I guess? Maybe Frankenstein, or Dracula, or –”

“Oh my god, you’d look so hot as a vampire,” Soyi cuts him off, hands clasping in excitement. She reaches out and traces a line down his mouth. “With little fangs and blood trickling down, and we can gel your hair back… You’ll let me do your makeup, right? It’ll be so fun!”

“Then what are you gonna be?”

“Dracula’s bride, of course!”

“He has three.”

“Smartass.” Soyi rolls her eyes. “I’ll be the hot one, of course.”

Mingyu chooses not to comment and lets Soyi continue on about where to get his cape and her Victorian dress. His mind’s drifting off to how he’s going to explain this mess to his friends in a way that’ll minimize backlash from Sunbin, especially. To her credit, she hasn’t brought up the relationship, but all of his friends are obviously uncomfortable with Soyi and are waiting on pins and needles for the eventual fallout.

He snaps back to attention when the front entrance opens to reveal the three Snobs straight out of Mingyu’s nightmares. Admittedly, when separated, they’re not too hard to deal with, but when combined, Mingyu always fails to block out memories of his freshman and sophomore years, of being shoved into walls and having his assignments stolen right before the class it was due.

As the Snobs walk down the stairs past them, towards the garden, he feels Soyi stiffen beside him, words trailing to a stop, while Minghao shoots them a death glare. Jihoon doesn’t even bother looking their way. Wonwoo, always in the middle, stares straight at them, bold and unfazed.

At first glance, he looks as emotionless as ever. But having been roommates for almost four years, there are certain things Mingyu can easily detect. Wonwoo’s not upset or vindictive or even jealous. He’s tired.

His dark circles are worse than ever, eyes drooping from lack of sleep. He still walks like he’s on ice, all grace and caution, but each step looks like it’s slowly sucking the energy out of him. Mingyu can’t recall if Wonwoo’s eating regularly, since he’s been eating outside with Soyi so often. 

As the Snobs pass them without so much of a sniff or an upturned nose, Mingyu feels something drop in his stomach. Not disappointment or regret, which is usually how he feels around Wonwoo. It’s more anticipation, almost ominous, in how he might have changed whatever is between them for good.

 

-

 

Halloween arrives as it always does, the climax, the turning point, the end of weeks of hype, of the school plastered with orange and black, of students buzzing about costumes and parties and music.

Mingyu wakes up to _The Monster Mash_ thrumming throughout the school. He coasts through the day, anticipation building through his body as he observes the streamers draped around the brick walls, the pumpkin stickers plastered over windows and the actual pumpkins perched on banisters. Only the teachers are dressed up during the day while they hand out candy, since the students are still expected to be in uniform. The students are allowed to change into their awaited costumes once the end of the the day bell rings. 

As last period wraps up with a shrill bell, flocks of students rush for their dorms or for the washrooms. Mingyu never understood why the school loves holidays so much, but he enjoys it much more than the bland celebrations his previous public school held. Back then, normal students didn’t dress up, but at Eastridge, you stood out more if you didn’t.

Mingyu pulls out his phone to text Soyi that he’s making his way to her dorm, since she was so excited to help him with his costume. Someone snatches the phone right out of his hand.

He glances up to see his phone clutched in Sunbin’s hand. Mingyu says, surprised, “Hey. What are you doing here?”

Sunbin lifts her other arm, where a stuffed bag is dangling off of. “I’m responsible for making sure you transform into Dracula.”

“I thought – not that I’m upset you’re here, but –”

Sunbin scrolls through his unlocked phone and types something in it. She waits for a reply, then shows the screen to him.

_Mingyu: why does sunbin have the costume?_

_Soyi: Oh, I gave it to her because I don’t think I’ll have time to work on yours. Mine’s taking forever!!_

“I didn’t know you two were on speaking terms.”

Sunbin shrugs and starts walking, and Mingyu hurries to catch up to her. “She asked me for this favour in exchange for an explanation of why you chose to return to that harpy.”

“I was going to explain it to you, I swear. After Halloween.”

Sunbin gives him the side-eye. “Yeah, after you two broke up? Before I can tell you what a huge waste of time this is?”

Mingyu winces. “I knew you were going to react like that.”

“How else am I supposed to react?” Sunbin stops and whirls around to stare incredulously at Mingyu. They’re in the outside corridor leading to Sunbin’s dorm, and Mingyu decides to examine the colourful leaves behind Sunbin’s head instead of meeting her judgemental eye. “My idiot best friend decides to get back together with his crazy ex to do what? To make Wonwoo jealous? To play matchmaker?”

“Okay, okay, hear me out,” Mingyu holds up his arms defensively. “I just, it’s an experiment. I was curious.”

Sunbin continues to stare, eyebrows furrowed. He knows that look. She’s upset because she can’t figure him and his motives out. “About what?”

“About –” Mingyu runs a hand through his hair, frustrated that he can’t word it any better, that he didn’t have more time to practice the explanation. “I know how this is going to sound, okay? But, I just, I want to know if he actually dates all my exes on purpose.”

“Of course he does,” Sunbin says immediately.

“What?”

“Why are you so confused? It’s obvious he’s doing it on purpose. You can’t explain the pattern otherwise. I thought you knew that.”

“No, I. I thought we just had similar tastes?”

Sunbin glances away, pulling a Mingyu to stare at the trees behind his head. “I don’t think his tastes are like yours at all.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Sunbin starts walking again, forcing Mingyu to trail after her. “I mean, I don’t know what you expect to achieve from doing this. What’s the point?”

“I want to do this so I know that it’s possible for us to be on good terms. If all this time, he’s been messing with my relationships, then it’s clear that he really hates me. Why else would you chase after someone else’s exes?”

Sunbin glances at him, expression softened now that she knows where he’s coming from. “I’m not sure doing this - tricking him - would make you two friends. It might just make things worse.”

Mingyu doesn’t respond. He can’t, because he knows that this is why he avoided talking to Sunbin about it. She always tells him what he’s failed to realize until it’s too late.

 

-

 

The song blaring through the speakers is more bass than anything, and Mingyu can feel the thrumming under his skin increase with every beat. He downs another cup of whatever alcohol they’re serving – something expensive but still tastes like shit. Everything about this party is shit, but that’s kind of why Mingyu likes it. It’s comforting to know even the rich kids throw lame parties, just like regular teenagers.

Some people stop by to comment about his Count Dracula costume. Sunbin did a great job, as always, but Mingyu knows he’d receive the same number of compliments if he chose Joker or Superman. The people coming up to him care less about the costume and more about who’s wearing it.

“How do you make ruffles look good?” The girl in front of him laughs, reaching out a hand to finger the ruffles on his collar. She’s dressed up as the sixth black cat Mingyu’s seen.

He tosses back, more a reflex than anything, “How do you make cat ears look good?”

She covers her mouth, and the lighting’s dim, but Mingyu can tell she’s blushing. He glances over her through the crowd, looking for Soyi. Eventually, he catches sight of brunette waves in the crowd. He pats the black cat on the arm, utters some lame excuse about getting air, and makes his way past flailing arms on the dance floor, through a doorway, and finds himself in a bathroom. It’s just a room away, but everything here is muted. 

Mingyu takes the opportunity to clear his head. He rinses out his cup and fills it up with tap water, before gulping it all down. He was never a party person - not the lukewarm beer and forgettable EDM kind, at least - and although he knows he can walk out and find someone to talk to in five seconds, he feels like he shouldn’t be here. This whole thing was his stupid idea and he always sticks through with his dumb decisions to the bitter end, but this has got to be the fifteenth time he’s wanted to ditch the party and go back to Soonyoung’s dorm where his friends are camped out watching The Addams Family and eating questionable amounts of chocolate.

Just as he’s refilling his cup again, he hears giggling and footsteps, a knock on the bathroom door. Mingyu opens it to find a couple making out. _Wow, my night cannot get any better._

There’s brown mixing with black and something drops in his stomach, but Mingyu ignores it and tries to inch past the couple, only to get an eyeful of who else but Wonwoo with his tongue down Soyi’s throat.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Mingyu breathes out.

Of all the endings he entertained that his poor decision-making skills will lead to, he thought this was the least likely outcome. Wonwoo hadn’t given a sign that he even knew Soyi existed all week, and sure, everyone’s been telling him that it’s a pattern, but Mingyu thought Wonwoo wouldn’t bother with the same girl twice if he didn’t actually have a grudge against Mingyu. Or maybe, that’s just wishful thinking.

Wonwoo blinks open his eyes, locks eyes with Mingyu, and takes his sweet time pulling away from Soyi. He’s dressed in all black, hair slicked back and dark lining his eyes. What the fuck is he even supposed to be? Mingyu can’t align this Wonwoo, all sharp lines and smug smirks, to last week’s Wonwoo, who held through a truce and brought Mingyu coffee. Vaguely, Mingyu wonders how much of the change is his fault. 

“Mingyu,” Soyi exclaims in surprise as she turns to him. She’s out of breath, but she doesn’t sound ashamed at all. The blood streak down her lip is smeared, a sign of her goal achieved. “You came.”

“Is that tap water?” Wonwoo has the nerve to ask as he eyes Mingyu’s drink. “That’s unsanitary.”

Mingyu stares at the hand Wonwoo still has around Soyi’s waist. The accumulated pent-up frustration at Wonwoo all these years paired with the tension this past week comes spilling out with the “unsanitary” tap water Mingyu dumps over Wonwoo. “Oops. My bad.”

Mingyu doesn’t bother staying to hear Soyi’s gasps and Wonwoo’s sputtering. He shoves his way past the rich kids grinding on each other until he finally reaches the front door. The cold air greets his burning face with a whoosh, and he’s almost at the fountain when a hand clamps around his wrist.

It’s Wonwoo. Of course it is. It’s always Wonwoo.

“What the fuck do you want?” Mingyu shouts, wrenching his wrist away.

Wonwoo glares back at him, hard. Mingyu’s always been taller since sophomore year, but Wonwoo fills out every inch of his body, all rigid, hard muscle, that Mingyu never feels the height difference.

“What the fuck was that back there?” Wonwoo hisses. Locks of his hair has escaped the gel to cling to his forehead and drops of water is spattered on his black suit.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I ruin your night?” Mingyu leans in, eyes narrowing, as he plucks at Wonwoo’s shirt. “Thank god it was water and not juice, yeah? Or that would have been five hundred down the drain.”

“You got that worked up over a girl?”

“What kind of shit question is that? She’s my fucking ex, Wonwoo! You were _there_ when I asked for her back!”

Wonwoo glances away, eyes fixated on a spot on the grass somewhere, face carefully blank. He swallows. Mingyu wrenches his eyes away from Wonwoo’s throat bobbing. It takes a while before he says, “I didn’t think you were that interested in her. She definitely wasn’t into you anymore, given how easily she threw herself at me.”

Mingyu gives Wonwoo a small shove, nothing major, just a warning to back off. “Don’t talk about her like that. You were just ramming your tongue down her throat. Have some decency.”

“ _Decency?_ ” Wonwoo manages a humourless laugh. He steps closer to Mingyu, taunting. “You want to talk to me about decency? How about that girl who agreed to go back to you yet stuck her tongue down some other guy’s throat after a shitty pick-up line? For the second time in a row, might I add? You want to preach about decency? You really think all your exes were decent fuckers?”

“No, but that’s why we broke up!” Mingyu refuses to step back, despite the discomfort growing in his stomach at the proximity. He can just feel the two of them reaching the brink. One of them’s going to end up bleeding by the end of the night. “And they’re not the problem. _You_ are. I thought we were – I don’t know, _fine._ But I never know where I stand with you. One day, we’re perfectly fine. Friends, even. The next, you’re going after my girlfriend and insulting me with every breath you take.”

“You thought we were what?” Wonwoo asks quietly.

“I don’t know, I was being dumb.”

“What did you think we were?” Mingyu waits for the sneer. It never comes, which scares him even more.

“I tried, Wonwoo. I tried so fucking hard to be nice to you. But it’s always an uphill battle with you, isn’t it? It’s our last year together as roommates before we leave this hellhole, and I thought we were fine, but then you go around and pull this kind of shit.”

“What a pity you weren’t rewarded for your kindness, Kim.” Ah, there’s the sneer. “Are you going to throw a tantrum now that you didn’t get everything you want? Oh, boo hoo, there’s someone who’s not tripping over their own feet trying to please the Golden Boy. There’s someone not falling for the tragic orphan, the pauper-to-prince success story.”

Mingyu takes deep breaths, but it’s hard to rein back his anger when Wonwoo’s radiating fury inches away from him. He almost forgot how easily Wonwoo riles Mingyu up, picking on his past and privilege. “Like you’re not a spoiled asshole living off of your parents’ money, too. Did Mommy Dearest pick out your costume for today?”

Wonwoo flinches, before catching himself and shutting down. He bites out, ice cold, “Careful, Kim. That’s not very _nice_ of you.”

“I didn’t know you had mommy issues,” Mingyu sneers.

He barely catches a flash of tight-lipped, white anger before Wonwoo swings.

Mingyu reels back, hand shooting up to his left eye. His vision goes red, until he pries his eyes open, pushing down the throbbing pain. He doesn’t care anymore. He pulls his arm back to punch Wonwoo in the gut.

“Oh,” Wonwoo wheezes out, bent over. “If Headmaster Kim can see his investment now.”

Mingyu bends to his level, shoving Wonwoo’s shoulder hard. “Do you need another punch to shut up?”

Wonwoo rams into Mingyu, sending the two of them sprawling to the ground. Wonwoo’s bony shoulder digs into Mingyu’s chest painfully. Without a pause to recuperate, Mingyu gets an elbow to the face, and he lands a solid punch or two, and yup, that’s blood he’s tasting in his mouth. Their previous fights haven’t escalated to this level yet, usually ending after a punch or two before someone intervenes. But it’s night, and everyone’s at the party or in their dorms, so nobody’s outside watching the two idiots throttle each other into the ground.

Eventually, Mingyu kicks Wonwoo off of him when he can’t breathe without feeling pain. The two roll onto their backs, staring up at the endlessly black sky, silent save for the desperate gasps for air. Mingyu’s nose is bleeding, but not broken, and he probably has bruised ribs and scratches all over. He lets his head fall to the side, staring at Wonwoo’s profile. He feels empty. All the anger has been spent, leaving behind a gap of nothing for now, just waiting for regret and humiliation to pour in.

Wonwoo has his eyes closed, his right eye a blotchy ring of purple and blue. There’s blood dripping down his mouth and his black shirt is ripped in a few places, bruises splattered across his skin and chest heaving. Mingyu can’t bring himself to regret anything yet.

As if he feels Mingyu’s eyes on him, Wonwoo’s jaw clenches and he forces himself up, body straining with pain.

Mingyu starts to get up too, but winces. “Wonwoo –”

“Don’t.”

After a couple tries, Mingyu manages to stand, watching as Wonwoo walks towards the front entrance. He calls out again, “Wait, stop, we need –”

Wonwoo stops. He almost fades into the night in his all-black attire, but his pale skin seems to glow as he turns to stare blankly at Mingyu. He looks like a ghost, all battered with a dead look in his eyes.

“You’re right. We need to stop. I’m done. I’m tired and I’m done and if I have to stay in the same room as you for another minute I will set this whole school on fire.”

Mingyu opens his mouth and closes it, feeling like his words have been sucker punched out of him. He tries again, voice small and desperate, like tossing a penny in a well, “We’ve been living together for three years.”

“Yeah, and I hated every moment of it.” It’s impossible to make out Wonwoo’s expression in the dark, but Mingyu can see the rigid set in his shoulders, can hear the hardness in his voice. “I hate living with you. I hate dealing with our families’ bullshit. I hate that your father’s the Headmaster, that he was the reason my father lost his job. But this isn’t just about family politics, not anymore. We almost killed each other tonight, Kim.”

“No, it was - I shouldn’t have said -”

“We’re both bleeding and I might have broken your nose. Every step I take hurts. This is living proof of why a Kim and a Jeon is a disaster. This is why nothing will change between us. You can fall for all the nice pretenses you want, but we’re always going to hate each other.”

Wonwoo doesn’t bother waiting for a response and walks up the stairs into the school, which is fair because Mingyu doesn’t have a response to give. Everything Wonwoo said landed harder than any hit. After a few minutes of standing outside like an idiot, Mingyu heads in. He goes to his room instead of the infirmary and isn’t surprised to find it empty.

It’s obvious Wonwoo’s not coming back tonight. Mingyu still stays up, waiting for the unforgiving door to open, wondering how he managed to fuck things up irrevocably.


	3. calming the chaos

Wonwoo always had a talent for disappearing.

He probably enjoyed Hide and Seek as a kid, given how many times Wonwoo can disappear from anyone, from anywhere, for as long as he wants. When he’s not physically able to hide, he vanishes on the spot. Wonwoo shuts down his mind and does a fantastic job at treating everybody like mere insects, buzzing around him for attention. Mingyu admits he occasionally admires that aspect of Wonwoo, even if Mingyu’s on the receiving end three out of five times. 

Wonwoo puts his talent to good use by not showing up for their shared morning classes, and when Mingyu checks his room during lunch, he can see why. Some of Wonwoo’s belongings are gone. Even though he only took the bare essentials, Mingyu knows not to expect Wonwoo’s ice to thaw any time soon.  
.  
Slowly, day by day, Wonwoo works on carving himself out of Mingyu’s life, and Mingyu lets him. They never interact during classes, and Wonwoo is either always surrounded by his Snobs (and judging by Minghao’s dirty looks and Jihoon’s death glares, it’s on purpose) or out the door the second the bell rings. Mingyu knows their fight this time got really out of hand, he _knows_ , he still winces whenever he bends over, but there’s some inexplicable part of him that thinks he’ll walk back into his room one day to find Wonwoo with his glasses on, studying at his desk like the past few days never happened.

That’s how it always is with them. Apologies are nothing but gasoline to the fire, and Mingyu’s long learned to opt for cooling silence instead. Eventually, the fire will go out with a fizzle, maybe some leftover sparks, when left on its own.

But really, that’s Mingyu’s excuse for his lack of action. It’s clear Wonwoo wants to be left alone and Mingyu knows better than anyone else that the best way to handle this is to give Wonwoo what he wants. Frankly, Mingyu needs some alone time himself. Wonwoo’s not the only one who gets to sulk in the corner. He’s not the one whose roommate hates his guts, he didn’t lose the same girlfriend twice to the same asshole. 

If Wonwoo wants to keep up his ghost act, then so be it. He can keep playing Hide and Seek on his own, but they’re not six years old anymore and Mingyu’s tired of this game. 

 

-

 

Mingyu’s deleted Soyi’s contact from his phone. It’s easy to fix that problem. The solution is to ignore all calls and texts until she finally gets the hint. She’s a smart girl, and she catches on quickly.

But there are some things Mingyu can’t just ignore and hope that they’ll disappear. When he shows up to basketball practice in preparation for their Friday game, their coach takes one look at him and sends him to the infirmary. Coach Seungcheol even called the head nurse and told Jeonghan to call him back if Mingyu isn’t in the infirmary in five minutes. It’s happened before, where Mingyu chose to study at the library instead of tend to his injuries.

He strides past several students lounging in the infirmary, either napping or taking a break from the stress. Rarely do any students get injured, and it’s usually because of athletics, so Mingyu and Wonwoo have earned themselves a reputation at the infirmary for their outstanding record of the most fights between the same two people.

Mingyu’s attempts at camouflaging into the wall fail when the head nurse, Jeonghan, pops out of nowhere, grabs Mingyu’s lapels, and plants him onto a cot, all in a span of five seconds of Mingyu entering the infirmary. He’s gotten quite good at wrangling tall, lanky boys after Mingyu and Wonwoo have, many times over the course of their tumultuous years, tried to bolt out of the infirmary when they thought he wasn’t looking.

Mingyu waits for him to launch into a rant, but all Jeonghan does is cross his arms and stare him down.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Mingyu protests feebly. “I know you’re disappointed.”

“Mingyu,” he starts off calmly, yet Mingyu still flinches. “I want you to look at Simon.”

Simon the Skeleton dangles in front of the infirmary entrance to greet or scare anyway passing students, and beside his head, Mingyu sees the once proud but now pitiful white poster with the words: _0 days since Mingyu and Wonwoo were here._

“Look at his disappointed face. He really thought you were doing well, that you would keep your word.” Jeonghan sighs, making Mingyu flinch again. “Simon should have known better. It’s Simon’s fault, isn’t it? For overestimating you.”

“Mr. Yoon –”

“Don’t _Mr. Yoon_ me. You had a record-breaking 60 days away from the infirmary, but no, you two idiots thought it would be a great idea to make the nurses’ lives harder and beat each other to a pulp.”

“We didn’t beat each other to a pulp.”

“We didn’t beat each other to a pulp, he says. It’s our last fight, he says. You’ll never see our sorry faces in the infirmary, he says.” Jeonghan is pacing now. The head nurse is usually calm and soft with the students, but Mingyu supposes seeing the same, frustrating patients (i.e. Mingyu and Wonwoo) over and over chips away even the most patient of nurses. “Just because both of your families are rich enough to cover any flaws on your records doesn’t mean it’s a challenge to get suspended.”

Panic rises within Mingyu. “Did you tell him?”

Jeonghan pauses at that. He gestures for Mingyu to take off his blazer, since the nurse has never touched someone without their permission. While he waits for Mingyu to undress, he says quietly, “Headmaster Kim shouldn’t have let this escalate to this level. It’s not okay even if he hates the Jeons.”

“He said it was okay as long as neither of us started bleeding. I don’t see the problem.” Mingyu shrugs off his dress shirt slowly, ignoring the dull sore of the bruises.

“You don’t see the – oh my lord, have neither of you heard about internal bleeding?” Jeonghan slowly raises his hand and Mingyu stills, while he prods at his nose. “This is Wonwoo’s bullseye, isn’t it? He probably thinks if he hits you here enough times, your nose will grow crooked.”

“Did you tell him?” Mingyu asks again.

“You look like you went paintballing,” Jeonghan mutters. He grabs an ice pack from the cooler and places it on top of Mingyu’s bruised ribs. Mingyu winces at the pressure, but soon relaxes into the cold. “If I told him, you or Wonwoo would already be out of the country by now.”

Mingyu huffs out a laugh at that. He immediately regrets that and winces in pain. It’s been a while since he’s done more than crack a smile. “Yeah, he’d either disown me or celebrate, depending on who won the fight.”

“This isn’t a joking matter, Mingyu. It’s your senior year and you and Wonwoo are still at each other’s throats? I thought you settled this last year.” 

“Just diagnose me, doc.”

Jeonghan frowns, but lets it go. “You’re banned from basketball for three weeks.”

“ _Three weeks?_ But our game’s –”

“On Friday, I know. You should have thought that through before deciding to take up boxing instead of basketball.” 

“I put Polysporin on and everything!”

“It would have been four weeks if I didn’t know that extra seven days off the court would kill you, so be grateful and go rest, brat.” Jeonghan ignores Mingyu’s sputtering and waves his hand, already done with this conversation. “I better not see your ugly mug here again.”

Mingyu resists the urge to toss his blazer onto the ground. He _needs_ to be able to play Friday, he’s on the starting line-up and that might be the game the Headmaster decides to watch, since it’s the last game before playoffs. But Jeonghan is already with another patient and Mingyu knows the nurse and Coach Seungcheol scheme behind his back, he recognizes a losing fight when he sees one, so he dresses with a giant sigh and heads to the door. 

When he gives Simon a fistbump on his way out, he hears Jeonghan call out his name.

“Can you send Wonwoo here?” Jeonghan says, not looking up from wrapping tape around a student’s ankle. “Even if it kills you. Talk to one of his friends – what do you call them, the Snobs?”

Mingyu doesn’t respond, only shrugs on his blazer and leaves. It shouldn’t surprise, much less bother, him that Wonwoo hasn’t treated his injuries yet, since it took Mingyu all of a week and Coach breathing down his neck to get him to stop by the infirmary. Mingyu should know better than anyone how stubborn, and self-destructive, high school boys can be.

“He can take care of himself,” Mingyu mutters to himself as he hurries back to the court to let Coach know the news. “He doesn’t need me nagging after him. It’s none of my business.”

And if Minghao finds a sticky-note on his basketball bag in the locker room saying to drag Wonwoo to the infirmary or risk getting booted to second line, Coach’s orders, well, that’s nobody’s business.

 

-

 

Eastridge is a huge school, all 500 acres of green grass and pebbled paths, winding corridors and countless classrooms. Out of a student population of 5 000, excluding faculty, it’s not difficult to go through all of high school not knowing half the people in your grade. That makes avoiding someone all the more easier in a school like this.

So imagine Mingyu’s surprise when he walks back from the garden with Sunbin and spots Wonwoo walking towards them with another Snob.

Mingyu immediately fades out of Sunbin’s rant, and he can tell she knows as much by her following silence, eyes on Wonwoo. He’s barely caught even a glimpse of Wonwoo in their shared classes, but he can tell the bandages on his face are new. Minghao got him to visit Jeonghan, after all.

There are a few other students around, since it’s after school hours, but Mingyu doesn’t register any of them when Wonwoo’s eyes land on him.

And move away, like Mingyu’s just another face in the crowd. Not even a twitch of the lips or a break in his conversation. Even the Snob he’s with stares at Mingyu for a beat, obviously recognizing him. But Wonwoo’s had years of practice, hundreds of arguments and follow-up cold shoulders – a chance encounter won’t faze him.

Sunbin loops her arm through Mingyu’s and gives him a subtle hug, knowing not to say anything. Even though he’s holding her, gripping onto something physical, he still feels something slip through his fingers as Mingyu and Wonwoo walk past each other like strangers.

 

-

 

Eventually, all this rising tension has to reach a breaking point. And that breaking point comes in the form of Xu Minghao. 

Basketball practice has been going on every other day, and Minghao hasn’t done more than glower at Mingyu, who’s taken to sitting on the bleachers during practice. There’s been no fouls, no balls thrown “accidentally” at Mingyu’s face, nothing like how Minghao used to be freshman year. They’re both too invested in their team to let outside drama muddle their court dynamic. 

Until their loss on Friday. Mingyu managed to convince the Coach to let him play a quarter, which bled into a full half, even though he knows Jeonghan will whip his ass after the game. Turns out that didn’t make a difference. The Headmaster didn’t show, and although their school already clinched a spot in the playoffs from their consecutive wins so far, it still stings to lose with such a large point gap to the number one team in the district from last year. Eastridge Prep might be good enough to make playoffs, but they still have a long way to go. 

The team dribbles into the changing room slowly after the game, with heavy steps and lowered heads. They change and shower in silence, no “good games,” no claps on the back. One by one, Mingyu’s teammates leave the changing room until he’s the only one left behind.

He sinks down on the bench, resting his head on the locker behind. His mind replays all the mistakes he made on court, all the missed opportunities and flawed passes. He obviously wasn’t in the best condition during their game, and had to switch out after a half to let his protesting body rest. After making a plan to fit in some practice time by waking up early before school, Mingyu finally gets himself together, stuffs his gear into his duffel bag, and heads out.

As he pushes open the changing room door, an arm shoots out and blocks him from taking another step. Mingyu looks up to find Minghao leaning against the wall beside him, already scowling.

“Did you fall asleep in there?” Minghao asks. “You were in there for, like, an hour.”

“Were you waiting for me?”

“What does it look like? Of course I was.” Minghao drops his arm once he’s sure Mingyu won’t walk away. “I’ve been waiting all week to have a word with you.”

Mingyu narrows his eyes. “If it’s about what I think it is –”

“It is, so listen up. Someone has to knock some sense into your pea-sized brain, and although I despise talking to you, I’m the only one kind enough to undergo this torture. Even your supposed friends haven’t brought this up with you, have they?”

They all know about it, but they also know Mingyu is impossible to talk to about anything Wonwoo-related, especially when they’re in post-fight mode. The most that happens is their pointed looks when Wonwoo’s in the vicinity. Mingyu deals with them by avoiding eye contact with everyone.

“They don’t, because there’s nothing to bring up,” Mingyu chooses to say instead.

“Oh, god, the amount of bullshit you spout on a daily basis never fails to amaze me. Wonwoo showing up at my dorm at ass o’clock in the morning bleeding all over my floor is nothing? Wonwoo rooming with me and Jihoon for the past week is nothing?”

“Wow, you definitely have been bottling that all up this whole week.”

“Tell me again that there’s nothing to bring up, and see if I won’t turn this into a repeat of Halloween.”

“I don’t think Wonwoo will appreciate you doing this.”

“What are you going to do, tattle on me?” Minghao pauses. “Actually, do it. Tell on me. Run off to your dorm right now. That’s where he is. Then you two will finally have to talk and both of you will stop being miserable, sulking messes.”

Mingyu wrings the strap of his duffle bag. “Usually, you’re telling me to leave Wonwoo alone.”

“Usually, you two don’t have matching black eyes and bleeding noses. Usually, you two are back to yelling in each other’s faces after a few days.” Minghao looks up at the ceiling, as if asking whoever’s up there why he has to deal with this. “Guess you’re not as predictable as I thought.”

“Get to the point, Minghao.”

Minghao’s eyes snap back to his. “Why did you leave the sticky-note on my bag?”

“Because I didn’t want Jeonghan chasing me down for only getting my selfish ass treated and leaving Wonwoo to bleed on his own.” 

“Wrong.” Minghao tilts his head, assessing Mingyu. “If you cared about getting Jeonghan off your back, you wouldn’t have risked playing today. You did it for Wonwoo.”

“Why are you so nosy? What’s forcing you to talk to me for this long?” Mingyu takes a step away. “What are you up to?”

“Where do you think you’re going? I’m still talking.”

“Well, I’m not listening.” Something nags at Mingyu. Something’s off. 

A hand shoots out to grab onto Mingyu’s arm, confirming Mingyu’s suspicions. There’s a reason why Minghao’s doing this, clinging onto him, a reason that overrides Minghao’s distaste for talking to anyone outside of the Snobs.

Mingyu shrugs off Minghao’s grasp and hurries down the hall. He stops in front of the stairs leading up to the residences, but the memory of Minghao trying to shove him in that direction convinces him his dorm will only be empty. Instead, he heads to the second set of stairs leading up to the office.

The first thing Mingyu narrows in on are the looming, shut doors. By the receptionist desk, Joshua’s watching K-dramas on his computer since students rarely visit during late hours, especially on a Friday. He looks up when Mingyu approaches and shakes his head. That means the Headmaster’s currently occupied with a guest. For the first time, Mingyu waits for the doors to open because of the guest, and not the Headmaster. 

To distract himself from barging into the office, Mingyu settles for munching on gummy bears while he watches Joshua’s K-drama over the desk. They’re at an emotional point with the main couple fighting when the large doors swing open to reveal, unsurprisingly, Wonwoo and, more surprisingly, his father.

They’re still talking to the Headmaster while they’re leaving, so they don’t see Mingyu, who whirls around and keeps his head low, pulling up the hood of his sweater. The sight of the middle-aged businessman in his pristine Armani suit renders Mingyu pale-faced and shocked silent. He’s only met Mr. Jeon a handful of times, none of which were pleasant. To his relief, their footsteps patter off towards the stairs and away from Joshua. 

“Did they look this way?” He whispers to Joshua, even though Wonwoo and his father are long gone.

“Don’t be so self-centered,” Joshua laughs, not mentioning the tension. “If he brought his father here, they’re probably worrying about something a bit more important than you.”

Mingyu sighs, his head falling even lower. He lets a bit of concern bleed into his words, only in front of Joshua, “What do you think is going on with him?”

“It’s in my job description to keep our students’ affairs private.” Whatever Mingyu’s facial expression is, it manages to convince Joshua to lean forward and whisper, “But just a heads up, he’s probably heading to your room right now.”

That’s all it takes to send Mingyu running off. Joshua watches him go, concerned but unfazed, already used to Mingyu’s spontaneous visits to the office. 

The enormous staircases don’t scare Mingyu and his one-track mind as he focuses on reaching his room as fast as possible, until he’s in the Lounge and almost runs Jihoon down, who was exiting Mingyu’s dorm.

“What are you doing here?” Jihoon asks him with a disgusted look.

“I live here – wait, I should be asking you this question. This isn’t your dorm.”

“Hm, you’ve always been slow.”

Mingyu sucks in a breath. Arguing is just going to waste time. “Why’s Mr. Jeon here?”

“He’s not.” Jihoon’s face is blank, but Mingyu gets the sense he’s mocking. “He’s waiting in his car out by the front.”

“Why’s he here?”

“Why do you assume I know?”

“Because otherwise Wonwoo doesn’t trust you as much as I thought he does.”

That wipes the smug look off Jihoon’s face. “Maybe you should have tried talking to him the past few days. That would have gotten you farther than whining.”

Mingyu’s anger flares, but his determination doesn’t fade. “This is a waste of time.”

“About time the brat learned,” Jihoon taunts, but Mingyu just walks past him to his room. 

His hand wavers in front of his doorknob for a foolish second, but Mingyu shoves aside any doubts and pushes open the door. He knows Wonwoo’s things have been disappearing day by day, but nothing could have prepared him for the sight of Wonwoo’s side of the room stuffed into the two suitcases sitting on Wonwoo’s bed.

Wonwoo doesn’t stop packing at Mingyu’s entrance. A long stretch of silence wraps around them as Mingyu tries to process what he’s seeing.

“Sorry, he caught on faster than I expected,” Jihoon calls out from behind them and shuts the door Mingyu left open in his state of shock, leaving the two of them in silence once again.

Wonwoo’s the one to break it. Might as well, since Mingyu’s tongue lost all function. “Who distracted you longer? Minghao or Jihoon?”

It takes a second, but Mingyu understands. “That’s why both of them teamed up on me? To get me away from the dorm so you could pack up and leave?”

“If that’s what you think.”

So that’s why Minghao was so pushy. Normally he doesn’t care what went on between Wonwoo and Mingyu, as long as Wonwoo doesn’t get hurt. He understood Mingyu better than the latter expected. The more he gets shoved, the more Mingyu shoves back. A victim to reverse psychology. But Jihoon doesn’t care enough to put in the effort to distract Mingyu properly. He just wanted to make Mingyu look like a fool and waste his time.

“Why?” Mingyu says finally, voice distant even to his own ears.

“That’s a dumb question. This is long overdue, and I already told you why on Halloween.” 

“Why now?”

“Because I finally have a legit excuse, beyond hating my roommate. There’s finally evidence that we’re harmful to each other. Jeonghan can attest to that.” Wonwoo quirks his lips into a parody of an amused smile. “Now that this is the last time I have to see you, it feels like I’m relieving a huge weight off my chest.”

That snaps Mingyu out of his shocked stupor. He marches over next to Wonwoo’s suitcase, flipping it closed and shoving it away, earning a dirty look. “Is there something wrong with you? Only an idiot would transfer out of Eastridge during senior year.”

“Only an idiot would room with the person they hate for three years.”

“What about university applications? Valedictorian? What about all your science clubs and tutoring programs?” 

Wonwoo shrugs. “We’re all going to leave next year anyway. I’m just leaving a little earlier.”

“So you’re just going to give up?”

“Why do you care so much? I thought you wanted to get rid of me.” Wonwoo’s voice is relaxed, noncommittal, but his stance is stiff. Mingyu knows it’s forced. 

“Why do you keep thinking that I hate you? I don’t, I really don’t. Sure, you’re insufferable and annoying and sometimes you have a huge stick up your ass, but I don’t hate you. Not to the point where I’d want to run you out of school.” 

“Right, because the Golden Boy doesn’t want any enemies,” Wonwoo’s voice increasingly sharpens. “I’m the first one to not fall for the Golden Boy, and that’s why you’re so fixated on us playing nice. I don’t fall for any of it, so I don’t make sense to you. I don’t fit in your world. Just like how tired you are of us fighting, I’m tired of playing the villain to your hero. Is that good enough for you?”

“Stop – stop doing this. All of this.” Whatever Wonwoo said was being lifted off his chest is now weighing down on Mingyu’s. His breath’s coming out in short bursts, he feels like he’s a live wire, seconds away from burning up. “Can’t you be straight with me for once?”

“Oh, trust me, I’m saying everything I mean. Now that I’m seconds away from freedom.”

“Then I’m going to say everything I mean, too.” Mingyu sucks in deep breaths, a little glad that Wonwoo’s staring determinedly down at his suitcase. All the courage Mingyu managed to collect will trickle out in the face of Wonwoo’s stony stare. “All I wanted was for you to give me a chance. You always put walls up around me, because of our families, but I still wanted you to let me try. Eventually, I stopped trying so hard, but I still – it’s not because I don’t want you to hate me, I just want –”

“Don’t.” Mingyu stops. His eyes flicker down to Wonwoo’s tight fists clenching his clothes. “You don’t get to say that to me.”

“And you don’t get to do this, all because of a stupid fight. If you really hated me half as much as you say you do, you’d have transferred out years ago,” Mingyu says, voice noticeably calmer, softening even more at Wonwoo’s visible flinch. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”

Wonwoo doesn’t bother replying, knowing that Mingyu’s latched on. He makes a grab for the pile of textbooks sitting on his desk, but Mingyu gently holds onto Wonwoo’s arm.

“What happened?” He asks again, softly.

He doesn’t think Wonwoo will answer for another minute, but an emotionless voice says, “My mother passed away on the first day of school.”

Of all things – Mingyu even entertained notions of kidnapping – Mingyu did not expect this at all. He sucks in a pained breath, grasp loosening and letting Wonwoo’s arm drop. His torturous mind revisits the taunt that finally got Wonwoo to snap and take the first swing – _I didn’t know you had mommy issues._

It hits hard, realizing how much pain Wonwoo has been harboring, while Mingyu was distracted with ex-girlfriends and trying to get the Headmaster’s attention.

“We knew it was going to happen. I stayed with her all summer, but her condition continued to decline and by September, she was bedridden.” Mingyu moves his awkward hand to Wonwoo’s shoulder, slow and hesitant. He doesn’t know how to treat this vulnerable version of Wonwoo, without his curt replies and icy shield. But Wonwoo hasn’t moved away, so that has to count for something. “I wanted to stay another week, but my father thought I was going to fall behind on school.”

“I’m so sorry, Wonwoo,” Mingyu says quietly.

Immediately, Wonwoo jerks away from Mingyu’s touch, letting his hand fall in between them. He ducks his head, but Mingyu knows it’s to hide his red-rimmed eyes. “Don’t comfort me. You don’t have the right to.”

“Wonwoo -”

“I can’t believe I just spilled my sob story to you.” Wonwoo’s voice is unnervingly sharp, painfully raw. “The Golden Boy. The hero of the story, who gets plopped right into the middle of wealth without having to lift a finger for it, complete with your own tragic backstory. How can my pain even compare to yours? I just lost my mother, but you lost your parents.”

Mingy recoils from Wonwoo. He feels the lash of pain like a whip, feels his stomach clench like it does whenever someone mentions his parents. How did Wonwoo go from a soft, hurting boy to cutting edges and burning words just like that? 

He doesn’t wait, just walks right out of their room. Once he shuts the door behind him, Mingyu falls back on it, head thumping the wooden surface. He feels raw and open, scraped all over. He feels like he just cried for hours, and he knows in this headspace, there’s no way he can try to talk to Wonwoo without one of them getting hurt again. So he waits, he sucks in all the air he can hold, eyes shut and forcing out the memories of red flames, white funeral flowers, and black suits.

When his world stops tilting and regains balance, Mingyu gathers up the rest of his energy and opens the door with a heavy drop in his stomach for the second time that evening. He doesn’t know why he’s trying so hard, why he’s the one doing all this in place of Minghao and Jihoon. But Mingyu does know he can’t let Wonwoo make a mistake like this. He’s been here before, been the boy engulfed in the aftermath of his parents’ death, drowning in grief and anger at the unfairness of it all to the point where he’d lash out at anyone who bothered to care. 

For the first time since they’ve met, Mingyu understands Wonwoo. More importantly, he hopefully thinks that Wonwoo’s letting him. Mingyu’s determined not to fuck this up.

Wonwoo’s still in the same place he left him, standing in front of his organized suitcase, arms dangling by his side like a lifeless doll. 

This time, Mingyu’s the first to speak, “You don’t know what I’ve been through. I don’t know what you’ve been through, either, so I won’t ask you to tell me. But that also means you can’t talk about my past like that. Do you understand?”

Wonwoo gives a slow nod, whole body straight yet wavering, like he’s hanging on by a thread. 

“I can go, if you want,” Mingyu offers. The only reason he came back was to clear things up with Wonwoo, because he knows this kind of thing should never be dragged out. “Just, when I get back, you better still be here. Until graduation. You have to be here.”

There’s a long pause, and Mingyu watches as the tension drains out of Wonwoo’s shoulders. He turns slightly, showing a ghost of a smirk. “Lucky for you, the paperwork hasn’t been turned in yet.”

“Wow, the universe must be in my favour,” Mingyu sighs out, not even bothering to mask the relief. “I get to be stuck with you for another year. But lucky for you, you get this room to yourself for the night.”

Another weighted moment settles around them, and Mingyu gives it another second before he turns to leave. He has his hand on the doorknob when Wonwoo calls out, so quiet Mingyu thinks he imagined it, “You don’t have to go.”

Mingyu barely stops himself from whirling around in surprise. “What?”

What feels like an hour passes before Wonwoo glances up at him, and Mingyu almost stumbles at the emotion displayed. It’s a normal expression, but from years spent analyzing every twitch of the lips and quirk of the eyebrows to translate into emotion, this pure, unmasked display is as good as a tornado. 

Wonwoo looks exhausted, completely and utterly drained. The slope of his shoulders are slanted so steeply, he looks seconds away from collapsing. His lips curve down, almost in defeat, as he say, voice raised and clear, “You can stay. If you want.”

“I – but, you –”

“You don’t have anywhere else to go. It’s already curfew. What are you going to do, sleep in the Lounge?”

Mingyu clamps his mouth shut before he stutters some more and makes a bigger fool of himself than he has already. Wonwoo doesn’t wait for his reply, already busy with grabbing his phone and walking out the room.

A corner of Wonwoo’s lips tug up when Mingyu, alarmed, steps towards him. “Calm down, I’m just going to call my father. I doubt you want to meet him when he learns that he came all the way here for nothing.”

Mingyu doesn’t want to meet him at all, but lets Wonwoo leaves without another word. The sight of the unclosed suitcases left on Wonwoo’s bed is enough of a promise to relax Mingyu.

 

-

 

The only reason Mingyu manages to drag himself through their nighttime routine is because this day has drained him whole. Otherwise, his mind would still be reeling at the emotional whiplash. He doesn’t even think he can manage to fall asleep tonight.

But, as he blinks into the dark for probably the thousandth time, he hears a quiet, “I’m sorry,” from Wonwoo’s side of the room. 

(A week ago, Mingyu couldn’t even imagine Wonwoo’s deep, calm voice apologizing. A week ago, Mingyu laid awake in his bed staring up at the ceiling of an empty room feeling like the biggest fuck-up of the universe. Now, Mingyu can almost smell the Honey Pine in the air as he listens to Wonwoo’s slow, steady breathing a few metres away from him. Now, the space between them feels like nothing.)

Mingyu drifts off to sleep with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SO SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT
> 
> honestly this is the shortest chp so far yet i took the longest time writing it?? i wrote it in bursts over the summer and i just sincerely apologize bc all of you are the absolute sweetest and i adore all of your comments and kudos and support and you deserve so much more <3 <3 and i rlly thought i would have a bunch of time during summer break to churn out chps, but turns out classes + summer camp counsellor job = no free time or energy
> 
> anyway this was also a tough one bc mingyu + wonwoo making up could have happened a ton of different ways and i couldn't rlly decide which one would fit their characters the best here. so i just went with some emotional yelling and wonwoo's secret reveal and a way for the boys to finally relate to each other. hope you enjoy!! you all are the best and i love you <3


	4. frequent infrequencies

  
  
  


_4.1 interlude:_

Wonwoo wakes up to the sound of his alarm.

His eyes slowly blink open, and he finds himself surprisingly well-rested and not seconds away from stabbing someone, preferably his roommate, at having to wake up early. Wonwoo grabs his phone to check the time - 7 AM - and shuts off the alarm.

He stares up at the ceiling that he thought he’d never see again. Just seven hours ago, he was ready to leave this cursed estate without a look back. But all it took, as usual, to break him were those puppy dog eyes and soft, kind voice from his stupid roommate. The effect Mingyu has on him is worrying, but hey, at least he’s still here and living.

His dad didn’t seem that annoyed either. Sure, he was pissed at the looming paperwork he’d have to plough through, but he probably thinks Wonwoo’s still in mourning and making impulsive decisions. Which, now that Wonwoo thinks with a familiar ache in his chest, isn’t far from the truth.

He glances over at the lump on the bed beside him, a little surprised that he woke up before Mingyu for once. Usually it’s Mingyu lumbering around their room that wakes Wonwoo up sometimes as early as 5 AM in the morning, and that loss of a few hours of sleep would put him in a terrible mood for the rest of the day, all snappy and offensive.

Wonwoo goes through his morning routine leisurely and exits the bathroom to still find Mingyu in his bed sleeping. He walks over to grab his phone off the nightstand, before glancing down at Mingyu again. 

Should he wake him? It’s already 7:30 AM and Mingyu’s usually down at the basketball court or eating breakfast at this time. 

But at the sight of Mingyu’s peaceful, resting face, Wonwoo can’t find it within him to disturb him from his sleep. He knows Mingyu’s been staying up recently studying to raise his marks or talking to Headmaster Kim about raising his marks, so seeing the absence of tension and furrowed eyebrows makes Wonwoo want to preserve this relaxed version of Mingyu for a little while longer, before he has to wake up to another day of stress.

Just as Wonwoo’s eyes trail down Mingyu’s long eyelashes casting shadows on his unfairly clear skin, his phone rings.

Startled, Wonwoo quickly declines the call from Jihoon and slings his bag over his shoulder. He’s out the door in seconds, not daring to look back at Mingyu to see if he woke up.

He leans against his door, heart pounding until he can feel it in his throat. He glances down at the _Missed Call from Jihoon_ on his phone, wondering for a delusional second if Jihoon caught him in that moment looking at Mingyu. If Jihoon knew.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Wonwoo knows he’s obvious.

He’s been obvious in their first year, when he would focus all his efforts on bullying Mingyu, because that was the only way his 14 year old immature, asshole self knew how to get Mingyu’s attention and make it last. Back then, everyone wanted to befriend the Headmaster’s latest investment, but Wonwoo didn’t want to be another face in the crowd that will fade with time. He wanted to be noticed.

Second year, he knew he was on Mingyu’s radar, but it still wasn’t enough. So he pushed more. He made Mingyu hate him. And when that feeling, that greed, carried over to junior year, Wonwoo knew something was wrong. Junior year was probably one of the worst years of his life when he got slapped with his mom’s illness, suffered through university prep, and faced the fact that maybe, he wanted to be more than Mingyu’s irritating rival. 

He was prepared to lay it all off this year and distance himself from Mingyu. He needed to minimize all distractions in the way of Valedictorian and his first-choice university. 

Then, summer arrived. 

He spent July abroad volunteering and August at his mom’s bedside at the hospital. September was a blur of funeral proceedings and silence. Wonwoo came back to school drained and hating everyone he talked to.

Until Mingyu barged in like a whirlwind and destroyed all his plans.

Wonwoo knew what he was up to, could feel Mingyu’s stare on him like chisels chipping away at his walls. How could he not? He spent the past three years watching Mingyu’s every move like an obsessed idiot, he could tell when Mingyu was acting like a kicked puppy, especially when that was directed towards Wonwoo himself.

Wonwoo’s weak and tired. Nobody can withstand Mingyu’s pleading, brown eyes and impossible niceness - Wonwoo swears he has an addiction to being the hero for everyone. Wonwoo’s a good actor and a better liar, but he can only go on pretending he doesn’t want to give in for so long. 

So he does. Even if it’s the stupidest decision he’s made. Even if he’s risking Mingyu finding out, if he hadn’t already with Wonwoo being so obvious. He accepts Mingyu’s olive branch, stops hiding any emotion he feels, and actually cracks a joke once in a while. 

Wonwoo might regret this, because he knows he’s letting himself get close to something he’ll never have, but he’s suffered through a summer from hell, it’s their last year, and shit, Wonwoo just wants to have nice things once in a while, even if they come with an expiry date.

  
  
  


_end interlude._

  
  
  


Mingyu blinks open his eyes and sees white.

Marble white floor, cream walls, ivory curtains. He stumbles back, a little taken aback at the brightness, and hits a firm surface. A hand falls on top of his head, heavy and powerful. Mingyu glances up at the man towering over him.

“You must be Mingyu,” the man smiles. Blinding white teeth.

Mingyu nods, too intimidated to say anything. The man smiles even wider at the silence, mouth stretching impossibly large.

“At least one Kim around here knows when to stay quiet.”

Mingyu startles at that. The mocking words are spoken with a smile, sugar coating sharp cuts. He asks quietly, “Are you talking about my father?”

“Your father?” Mingyu jumps at the man’s sudden laughter. “Mingyu, that man’s not your father. He can barely keep a wife, let alone raise a son. Your real father’s in the grave and it does you good to remember that.”

Mingyu’s throat closes up, traitorous eyes already stinging at the mention of his late parents. His fists clench, but what damage could he do to an adult feet inches taller and years wiser?

“Who gave you permission to speak to Mingyu?” Someone steps between Mingyu and the man, shielding the young boy. Mingyu instinctively steps closer and hides behind his protector’s wide back. He could recognize that low, steady voice anywhere - it belongs to Headmaster Kim.

“Oh, don’t worry, Kim. I won’t do anything to harm your latest, little investment.”

The harsh words sting, but the sneer sends a slap to Mingyu’s system. He sees it now. The man shrinks in stature, smile fading into an unimpressed glare. He sees Wonwoo.

The sight of Wonwoo in the bitter, cruel man shocks Mingyu out of his sleep. Harsh white dissipates into calm rays of sunlight streaming in from their balcony window. He lays, heaving and sweaty, in his bed.

He hasn’t dreamt (had a nightmare) about Mr. Jeon in a while. Seeing the man in the flesh yesterday probably triggered those long-buried memories.

Mingyu lets his head flop to the side, towards Wonwoo’s bed. He’d be dead if Wonwoo realized he had a nightmare about his dad. Thankfully, the bed’s empty.

Stretching, Mingyu lets himself enjoy the warmth of the sun and the comfort of his blankets a minute longer. His head flops the other way, towards his phone, and he freezes.

“Fuck,” he whispers. His hand scrambles to grab his phone and he checks the time. 

8:58 AM. Economics starts in two minutes.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Mingyu swears. In his haste to get out of bed, he falls to the ground. Without missing a beat, he runs to his closet and grabs his uniform.

He grabs his pack of gum, shoving one in his mouth as he dumps his binders into his bag. He doesn’t bother taking off his shirt, just pulls on his pants and slings on his blazer. He’s out the door with thirty seconds to spare. 

Mingyu thanks Coach Seungcheol in his head for those sprint drills up and down the court when he flies down the stairs and runs as fast as he can to his Econ class.

He sees the door to the class closing slowly and all but slides into the classroom before Mr. Yeon fully shuts the door. 

“Good morning to you, too, Mr. Kim,” Mr. Yeon says before continuing with his lesson like it’s just another normal day.

Panting, Mingyu runs a hand through his mussed hair and plops down into his seat, head dropping into his arms, as he tries to ignore the other students’ whispers and stares.

He’s going to kill Jeon Wonwoo.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


The first thing Mingyu says when he bursts into his room at the end of the day is, “Fuck you.”

“Woah,” says Wonwoo without even looking up from his laptop. He’s sitting in his bed, changed into sweats already, headphones pulled down around his neck. “Looks like someone had a bad day.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up? I was almost late to Econ because of you.”

“No, you were almost late to Econ because you slept through your alarm. Don’t blame it on me.”

“Couldn’t you have - it’s not that hard to - ” Mingyu rubs a tired hand down his face. He barely survived through the day, and he has basketball practice in fifteen minutes. He can’t put up with Wonwoo yet.

“Careful, don’t hurt yourself.”

“I thought we had a truce,” says Mingyu. 

That finally gets Wonwoo looking up from his laptop and seeing the state Mingyu’s in. His eyes widen in surprise. It throws Mingyu off how blatant the expression is, sucking out a little of his anger. Before, Wonwoo would emote at maybe 20%, but this has nearly quadrupled into 80%. 

“Woah,” Wonwoo says, voice clearly shocked. “You look like a disaster.”

“I wonder why?” Mingyu asks sarcastically.

“Hey, like I said, it’s not my fault. Mostly. You never asked me to wake you up.”

Mingyu groans. He feels a headache coming on. “Why can’t you just not be a dick for once? What happened to our truce?”

“I’m willingly spending time in our room and engaging in a conversation with you. I think that’s pretty good for a truce.”

“But you - ”

“You can’t ask me to pretend to be something I’m not.” Wonwoo gives Mingyu another onceover. “But don’t worry, I’ll wake you up next time. In case you end up looking like this again.”

“How generous of you.”

Wonwoo gives Mingyu one of his famous eye-rolls and puts his headphones back on. Mingyu takes the cue and goes off to do his own thing. He empties out his backpack onto his desk, sorting out the materials for homework later tonight, and grabs his gym bag off his chair.

He leaves the room without another word, because he’s still a little pissed at Wonwoo, and his roommate made it clear he isn’t interested in talking for any longer. 

And to be honest, Mingyu’s disappointed. He thought breaking through to Wonwoo, reaching a mutual understanding and all that, would have made them more civil. Would it kill Wonwoo to actually be nice to Mingyu for once? Was it really that difficult? 

He can’t believe he’s been worrying about how to interact with Wonwoo now. After Wonwoo’s quiet apology, he thought things would have been different, that they could have been friends. He had so many questions he wanted to ask Wonwoo from all these years, and he thought that now, he can actually receive some answers. Like about Soyi and their other previous relationships, or Wonwoo’s family, or even something simple like Wonwoo’s favourite colour.

Instead, it’s like they resorted back to how they were last year, before Wonwoo’s mother’s passing and the weird relationship with Soyi. Barbed words, surface-level digs. Leaving miles of personal space between each other.

Sighing, Mingyu pushes open the change room door, ready to clear his mind out on the court.

He’s the first one in the change room, which is a surprise. He didn’t realize how much of a hurry he was to get out of his room. 

Mingyu changes into his tank top and shorts, and reaches into his bag to put on his basketball shoes. Instead, his hand comes into contact with something soft and fuzzy.

Mingyu pulls out a black sweatband.

It’s black, with a white Nike logo stitched in the middle. It definitely wasn’t in there during lunch, when Mingyu packed his gym bag. 

He pulls out his shoes and peers in his bag, looking for a note or something that would reveal his secret admirer. The tag’s still attached, he notices, so it’s new. No other clue is found, but Mingyu’s not disappointed.

He’s not disappointed at all.

The doors swing open and some of his teammates show up, shoving each other and joking around. While they get changed, Mingyu pulls on the headband. It feels a little strange at first, since he’s never bothered using sweatbands before, even though his bangs sometimes get in the way. He checks out himself in the mirror, feeling a little self-conscious.

His reflection smiles back at him.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


The next morning, Mingyu wakes to an earthquake. His whole room is shaking violently and his skull feels seconds away from shattering into tiny, little pieces.

He finally peels his eyes open and gets an eyeful of Wonwoo’s annoyed face.

“Finally,” Wonwoo says and lets go of Mingyu’s shoulders. Immediately, Mingyu’s world settles.

“What time is it?” Mingyu asks, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

“Early enough. Get your ass out of bed.”

Mingyu does as he’s told and shuffles into the bathroom. When he’s back out, Wonwoo’s already out of the room. For a panicked second, he thinks Wonwoo’s messing with him again, but he checks the time and it’s only 8:30 AM. 

It might kill Wonwoo to be nice to Mingyu, but it’s enough that he’s trying.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


“Okay, but hear me out.” Seokmin taps his fork against his glass and pauses for emphasis. “We cover the security camera.”

Sunbin stares at him incredulously. “That thing’s like 10 metres off the ground. How in the world are you going to climb up that high?”

“No, no, it might work. There’s a ladder by the caretaker’s office that we can use,” Soonyoung says, eyes lighting up. 

“And you’re sure it’s 10 metres?” Jun asks.

“Well, we’re about to find out,” Seokmin says gleefully.

“Oh my god, I’m friends with lunatics,” Sunbin groans, dropping her head into her hands. “Lunatics that would risk their lives just to order pizza.”

Jun nudges Mingyu beside him. “Do you support their suicide mission?”

“Huh?” Mingyu jerks at the contact. “Sorry, I was - ”

“Spacing out, yeah, we get it,” Jun smiles. “You’ve been awfully quiet lately, you know? You’re usually ranting about some injustice during meals.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. Just school, I guess,” Mingyu gives Junhui his usual, everything-is-a-okay grin. 

Jun has that face like he’s about to say something, but before he can, a girl taps Mingyu on the shoulder lightly.

“Hi,” Mingyu smiles at her. 

She blinks, and smiles shyly back. “Hi, Mingyu.”

“Chaeyoung!” Seokmin exclaims. He holds up a hand, and after a beat, Chaeyoung gives him a high five. “What brings you to our weirdo table?”

“You’re the only weird one here,” Jun laughs. “Scheming about pizza - ”

“Shhpt.” Soonyoung holds a finger against Jun’s mouth. “That’s confidential.”

“Guys, shut up, she’s here to talk to Mingyu,” Sunbin says, motioning for them to calm down. 

“Right, um,” Chaeyoung flushes and holds out a can of iced coffee. “This is for you.”

“Oh,” Mingyu blinks. Chaeyoung’s kinda cute, but he was planning on laying off of relationships for a while. “Thanks, but. I’m not really interested - ”

Chaeyoung immediately waves her hands. “Oh, no, no, it’s not from me! I’m just the delivery girl.”

Among the “oohs” and teasing from his friends, it dawns on Mingyu. Is it from the same person who gave him the headband?

“Yeah, he’ll take it. Thanks,” Sunbin says to Chaeyoung, giving the poor girl a break. Chaeyoung sets the coffee on the table and quickly scurries off in record time. Sunbin shakes her head. “I hope she got paid for that. You guys traumatized her.”

“We’re not that bad,” Soonyoung whines. “We’re just overly friendly.”

“More like overly insane,” Sunbin says.

Jun picks up the can, turning it over. “Oh, it has a sticky note.”

Mingyu straightens up at that. “What does it say?”

“For you to wake up easier,” Jun reads. He laughs, “That’s cute.”

Something warm spreads in Mingyu’s chest, inching towards recognition and filling to the brim. He reaches for the can of coffee and reads the words himself, over and over, as he plays with the green sticky note.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Mingyu’s tackling Organic Chemistry, which was the easiest yet most headache-inducing part of Grade 12 Chem, when Wonwoo walks into their dorm on a Saturday.

Mingyu holds his breath out of habit as he waits for Wonwoo to grab whatever he needs and leave. That’s their weekend tradition; whoever’s studying first gets the dorm for the whole day while the other relocates to the library, to their friends’ dorms, to anywhere else but the same room. 

He waits, but the sound of the door closing never happens. Instead, he hears Wonwoo dump his bag on the floor and the squeak of Wonwoo’s chair as he sits down by his desk.

Baffled, Mingyu completely forgets every rule of Orgo that he’s just practiced in favour of staring wide-eyed at Wonwoo.

It doesn’t take long before Wonwoo says, not even looking up from his laptop, “I can go if you want.”

Mingyu doesn’t know what to say to that. How Wonwoo spoke first, how Wonwoo’s choosing to stay, how Wonwoo offered to be nice.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then?”

“No, no,” Mingyu almost hurts himself getting the words out. “No. It’s fine. Stay.”

He almost hits himself for the unnecessary last word, but it seems to have done the job as Wonwoo’s shoulders relax. The sound of tapping on his keyboard confirms that okay, this is a thing, this is happening. 

Mingyu tries to focus back on aldehydes and ketones, but he’s itching to reach into his gym bag for his phone so he can get some support layered with a reality check from his friends, because he honest to god cannot remember the last time he and Wonwoo voluntarily stayed in the same enclosed area alone on a weekend. 

As he falls victim to his impulses and fumbles around in his gym bag, his fingers brush against a fuzzy, soft material. His headband.

Wrapping his hand around it, he risks a glance back at Wonwoo, who’s still typing away like this situation is completely normal, like they’re two regular roommates on good terms.

Clearing his throat, Mingyu risks it. “Uh, Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo tilts his head, but doesn’t stop working. “What?”

“Do you, uh. Do you prefer Nike or Adidas?”

That puts a stop to Wonwoo’s typing. He swirls in his chair to pin Mingyu with a confused look. Mingyu still has to take a moment to adjust to how easily Wonwoo makes these faces now, all furrowed eyebrows and expressive eyes and twisted mouth. 

Wonwoo says, “I think it’s pretty obvious I’m not into sports.”

“I know, but you can still have a preference, right? Since you wear their clothes.” Like that Nike windbreaker Wonwoo wears in the fall, or his Adidas track pants, or his countless pairs of NMDs, Roshes, and Cortezes that Mingyu spent almost a semester pining after in their freshman year. 

Mingyu hates how he knows all this.

“True. I mean, they’re both corporations who used child labour and are part of fast fashion, but. I don’t know, I like Nike’s logo more? But I think I like more of Adidas’ shoes.” Wonwoo furrows his brows even more, and Mingyu has to bite his lip to stop from smiling at how seriously Wonwoo’s taking it. 

“Don’t overthink it. Just pick one.”

Wonwoo gives him another weirded out look. “Okay, fine. I don’t know. Adidas, I guess.”

Mingyu frowns. “Why not Nike?”

Wonwoo throws his hands up in the air, clearly exasperated. “You asked, I answered! Can I go back to work now?”

“Wait, wait, one more question.”

“Oh my god,” Wonwoo groans. But he’s not leaving, so Mingyu takes it as a green light.

“What’s your favourite coffee brand?”

“What the -”

Knocking on the door interrupts his investigation. Mingyu lets out a sigh, before getting out of his chair and walking over since he’s closer.

He does not expect to see Soyi standing outside their dorm room when he opens the door.

“No,” Mingyu says and tries to close the door.

She holds onto his arm and subsequently lets go when he glares at where she’s touching him. “Wait, Mingyu -”

“Wonwoo’s not here.” He can practically feel Wonwoo’s eyes on his back, yeah right, Wonwoo’s not here.

Soyi says softly, “He’s not what I’m here for.”

At the defeated tone of her voice, Mingyu finally takes her in, after icing her out for upwards of two weeks. She’s not wearing any makeup and dressed in an oversized sweater and leggings, hair straight and flat without their usual curls. Less loud, less vibrant, just…. less.

Mingyu sighs, leaning against his door. He sees her eyes flicker to where Wonwoo’s sitting at his desk. “You better make this quick.”

Soyi sucks in a breath, and lets it all out. “I’m sorry. I thought we were on the same page leading up to the party, because you and I knew it wasn’t real, but then your face when you saw me with, with him. I don’t know what you were thinking, but I know you were hurt.”

“I said quick.”

“I just - I wanted to apologize. I never meant to hurt you.” To his shock, she starts tearing up.

Mingyu stares at her, wondering why he doesn’t feel more sympathy, more care for this girl like he did a year ago. But her tears still make him give in. He sighs and leans forward, tugging on the hem of her sweater. “You shouldn’t feel bad. I knew what I was getting myself into. And I wasn’t hurt because of you.”

Soyi tilts her head up, blinking back her tears. “You weren’t? But I thought -”

“I don’t like you, Soyi. I haven’t, for a long while.” Mingyu feels an odd, freeing sense of relief at actually vocalizing the fact. Pretty much everyone in the school thought he did because of the stupid stunt they pulled, but it’s just not there anymore. He barely catches himself from smiling. “So I’ll accept your apology, and I hope we never talk to each other again.”

He closes the door on her gaping mouth and lets out a breath when she doesn’t knock again. 

“Too nice,” he hears Wonwoo mutter.

“What was that?” Mingyu asks, walking back to his desk. 

“You already asked your last question, Mingyu. Shut up and let me work.”

Mingyu’s about to protest that Wonwoo never gave him an answer before he catches a glimpse of that slight upwards turn on Wonwoo’s lips. He silently sits at his seat and flips back to the chapter on ketones, a sense of satisfaction sinking in as he takes in that he, Kim Mingyu, made Jeon Wonwoo smile.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Days pass slowly into weeks. Out of all his years at high school, senior year drags the most. It makes sense, since Mingyu has developed a dreading feeling when he wakes up in the morning (with the occasional help of Wonwoo), since every day is marked with some notable event - tests, deadlines, games, applications. 

The only thing that’s keeping Mingyu together is the occasional pick-me-up gifts he receives. It’s almost juvenile how excited he gets at the gifts, whether it’s a candle, a phone case, or even stickers. He still doesn’t know who the mystery person is, but he has an idea by the green sticky notes. Either way, it doesn’t matter because the effect is still the same: it makes each day a little more bearable.

But even then, the constant stress multiplies by the day. It’s gotten to the point where if he’s not doing something productive, he gets cold and clammy at the thought of wasting his time.

So when Headmaster Kim calls him to his office for their regular check-ups, Mingyu sits in the plush office chair feeling seconds away from throwing up his dinner all over the Headmaster’s pristine desk.

Headmaster Kim walks in late and talking on his phone. He holds up a hand, which Mingyu isn’t sure whether to take as a greeting or a gimme a minute. 

“No, I’m saying it’s not just in the past,” His father whispers quickly into his phone. “Just because we pushed out the Jeons once doesn’t mean we can let our guards down. You don’t know what that bastard’s up to.”

Mingyu barely schools his expression into a neutral one by habit, but his hands twitch on the armrests of the chair. He folds them together in his lap.

“Alright, I - okay, we’ll talk about this later. I’m in a meeting.” Headmaster Kim hangs up and slides his phone into his pocket before turning his attention to Mingyu.

Mingyu sits through the exchange giving the barest minimum of replies, partly because he’s distracted by the suspicious phone call and partly because it’s a repeat of all their previous meetings. 

At the end of the meeting, Mingyu debates asking about Mr. Jeon and what happened with Wonwoo’s transfer, but at the sight of Headmaster Kim shuffling his papers and tapping his keyboard, Mingyu backs down.

He walks out the door not even remembering the slightest any of what they said, but he gets the big picture. D-Day is arriving. Headmaster Kim’s expecting, and Mingyu has to deliver.

He doesn’t know how he’s going to last through the rest of the day when he feels like curling up into a ball and taking the longest nap. 

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Mingyu takes a moment before entering his dorm. He stares down his wooden door, as he tries to put together a plan of action before he faces Wonwoo. Whenever these meetings happen, he can tell Wonwoo knows. His roommate will look at him the entire night with a look akin to something that makes Mingyu feel pathetic, between a heavy dose of pity and a sprinkle of concern. Mingyu hates it more than when Wonwoo used to sneer about the Headmaster, hates it even more than when Wonwoo held Mingyu’s adoption against him, because it makes him feel weak and fragile and eleven years old arriving at the orphanage.

He glances at his phone and lets out a relieved sigh. Wonwoo’s usually asleep at this time, like any self-loving senior would, so the worst that can happen is they’ll get into an argument about Mingyu being loud and clumsy again. 

Mingyu inches in his room as quietly as he can. But just his luck, as he moves towards his bathroom, he trips over a book (probably his own since Wonwoo never leaves his stuff lying around on the floor) and tumbles to the ground with a loud thump.

Groaning, Mingyu rubs his arm, where he landed on. Then he remembers that it’s 2 AM in the morning and it’s in his best interests to tone the noise down if he wants to live until morning.

He holds his breath, waiting for shuffling from Wonwoo’s side of the room, for a pissed off “What the fuck are you doing, Kim?” Instead, all he hears is the sound of wind ruffling their balcony curtains.

Mingyu pulls himself up to his feet as he stares at the open balcony door, where he can make out Wonwoo’s back.

Maybe it’s the late hours, maybe it’s the weird truce they landed themselves in, maybe Mingyu wants some company after the only person he considers family now keeps reducing him to his grades. Whatever it is compels Mingyu to inch towards the balcony, stepping out into the cold, refreshing night air.

Wonwoo doesn’t move, just continues sipping his can of beer, when Mingyu stands beside him, leaning down on the balcony railing as they look out at the forest surrounding Eastridge Prep. He can barely make out the endless treeline in the dark, can barely see the stars twinkling in the sky, but the moon is vastly large against the black. The contrast is breathtaking, white glowing stark against black. 

“Can’t believe this view’s been here all four years and this is the first time I’ve bothered appreciating it,” Mingyu feels the need to whisper, like if he’s too loud he’ll scare everything good about this moment away.

“Yeah, because you never pay attention to anything besides yourself,” Wonwoo says, words biting but tone defeated. He winces at himself. “Sorry. I didn’t mean - I’m. I’m not a good person to talk to right now.”

The jab slides off Mingyu like water. It’s not hard to detect the vulnerability in Wonwoo’s voice, even if Mingyu hadn’t been living with him for four years, and the apology further softened his stance.

Bolstered by a surge of confidence, under the quiet night sky with Wonwoo’s apology ringing in his mind, Mingyu says softly, “You can talk. I’ll listen.”

It takes Wonwoo a moment, another sip of beer, before he slides another can onto the railing. Mingyu holds it up. “For me?”

“No, it’s an offering for the Moon God.” Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “What, Golden Boy never drank before? Too scared to break the law?”

Mingyu bristles slightly, “I drank before.”

Once, when Soonyoung and Seokmin pressured him to in their sophomore year. He thought it tasted disgusting and couldn’t finish the can, then felt guilty about the few sips for weeks.

Wonwoo huffs out what sounds suspiciously like a chuckle. “Good, then you can’t get me expelled for drinking underage.”

“Of course I wouldn’t,” Mingyu mutters as he opens the can of beer. He takes a tentative sip and makes a face, hoping it’s dark enough that Wonwoo didn’t notice. 

Mingyu settles with holding the can in his hand while listening to Wonwoo take sips, feeling like a child who pretends to like coffee to seem more grown-up.

Eventually, Wonwoo finishes his can and sets it on the ground with a hollow clink. He resumes leaning on the railing, head dropping forward, fringe falling over his eyes.

“I miss her.”

Clear and simple. 

Mingyu knows, for once, not to talk. He understands what Wonwoo needs aren’t words, but a place to vent so he doesn’t keep his feelings bottled up until he feels like he’s going to throw himself off the balcony. Mingyu’s been here, in this exact spot - albeit sans alcohol. He’s had the same sadness in his eyes, the same hunched up figure, the same hollow, lost feeling.

So he waits.

“I miss her,” Wonwoo repeats. He lets out a shaky breath. “Some days, I don’t feel it as much, but it’s still there. Some days, I’m good. Great, even. Hung out with Jihoon and Minghao, aced that damn Physics test, but then I’ll hear someone make the same dumb joke she once did or I’ll see someone wear a scarf just like hers, and everything hits again, hard.

“I hate it. And then I hate myself for feeling that way. I know, I know it’s supposed to get easier with time but I just. It’s hard to see how that’ll happen. Everything’s just so much worse without her.” Wonwoo’s voice is thick like he’s crying, but his eyes are dry. “I hate this, but I’ll hate it even more when I forget the sound of her voice.”

Mingyu closes his eyes, feeling his own eyes tear up. His chest aches, seeing Wonwoo in this state, because the only Wonwoo he’s known was sarcastic and biting, not shaking and hurting. His chest aches, because he sees his eleven year old self in Wonwoo, because it brings back memories of his mom and dad.

After a long, tense pause, Mingyu gets a hold of himself. He says, voice surprisingly stable but strained, “It’s not going to get easier. At least, it didn’t for me. You will have more good days than bad, but you will still have those days when you feel that hole in you because it’s always going to be there. You can’t fix it, but you will learn how to live with it.”

“What do you miss the most about them?” Wonwoo asks quietly.

Mingyu stares up at the crescent moon, mouth curving into a wistful smile. He’s never talked about this with anyone before, not his friends or the Headmaster or Ms. Kwon, the head of the orphanage and the first person he spoke to after his parent’s death. It takes a while for him to find the right words.

“Mom had these lullabies. I was a brat as a baby, so it was such work to get me to fall asleep, but somehow, her lullabies always did the trick. I never bothered finding out their names, and I can’t sing the way she did.” Mingyu taps the rhythm on the can of beer. “I miss her the most when I can’t sleep.”

“And your father?”

“Oh, whenever I fuck up, I can always hear his voice telling me all the things I did wrong.” Mingyu gives a quiet chuckle. “It’s not as effective as the real thing, but at least I’m not out doing drugs or getting arrested.”

Wonwoo lets out another huff of what optimistic Mingyu thinks is laughter. “I thought you were going to give me a nice response, but that’s depressing as fuck.”

Mingyu blinks away the tears, as the edges of his lips curl up. “Yeah, well, this is what happens when you drink while you’re sad. You get even more sad.”

“You barely even drank.” That is definitely a laugh. “If you’re not gonna finish it, give it here.”

Mingyu watches as Wonwoo takes Mingyu’s can and drinks it, placing his lips where Mingyu’s was just moments ago like it’s natural, like it’s nothing.

As if Wonwoo feels Mingyu’s eyes on him, he raises a questioning eyebrow at him over the can.

“I’m sorry about what I said about your mother,” Mingyu says, at first just to say anything, but realizing he truly means it once it’s out there. “Even if she’s still here, I should know better than anyone not to bring up parents in fights.”

“I know,” Wonwoo says simply.

He grabs the previous empty can from the ground, and when he straightens up, he gives Mingyu this small, private smile, no teeth, just curved lips and eyes. 

That night, Mingyu dreams of lullabies, crescent moons, and crescent eyes.

  
  
  



	5. wrecked revelations

  
  
  


Wonwoo’s up to no good.

Okay, maybe it’s not fair to say he’s up to no good. With their truce in place, Mingyu had doubts at first about suspecting Wonwoo of doing anything sketchy, but his experience of being bullied and ignored by the Snobs sends alarms ringing once he notices the shift in Wonwoo’s behaviour.

Of course, their dynamic has shifted strongly already, with their fight and Wonwoo choosing to actually let down his guard and trust Mingyu. At this point, everything’s different and unprecedented.

(Mingyu still can’t get used to it. Whenever Wonwoo shares another rare tidbit of his mother or an even rarer smile, Mingyu feels the air suckerpunched out of his lungs. Dramatic, yes, but things have never been normal for them.)

So Mingyu doesn’t jump to any conclusions, like that Wonwoo’s still harbouring ill intent towards him, or Minghao and Jihoon are going to trash his binders like they constantly did in sophomore year. But one thing’s clear. 

Wonwoo’s up to something.

“Wonwoo’s up to something,” Mingyu whispers to Seokmin during Econ, the one class they share with each other and nobody else from their friend group. Seokmin’s the type to make friends with anybody within seconds of his crinkly eye smile and loud laugh, but he still, for some reason, sticks to Mingyu and enables his conspiracy theory rants.

Seokmin, bless his soul, withholds a sigh and whispers back, “What did he do now?”

Mingyu thinks of all the times when Wonwoo darted out of their room during the late hours after he thinks Mingyu’s fallen asleep - which is almost never since Mingyu pulls an average of four all-nighters a week - or when he huddled with the Snobs in some shady corner of the school looking like the world’s most obvious drug deal. Then he thinks about Wonwoo’s soft voice and green sticky notes and the smell of honey pine. 

“A lot of things,” Mingyu settles with.

Seokmin nods somberly and says, “We can do a lot of sketchy things too. Are you still in on the Pizza Plan?”

Sometimes it’s like they’re speaking two entirely different conversations. 

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


“Wonwoo’s hiding something,” Mingyu declares as he and Sunbin walk to the library. He unwraps the chocolate he found in his bag earlier, complete with a green note saying _have a break, have a Kitkat._

She frowns. “I thought I asked if you’re doing alright in Physics, not what your grievances with Wonwoo are. But apparently they’re the same thing.”

“I’m doing okay, but I could be doing a lot better if he stops checking his phone every five minutes. Wonwoo has like the same amount of friends as me, which we can count on one hand, so who’s texting him so much?” 

“He already hooked up with the last girl you dated, so I doubt he has a new girl.” Sunbin pauses at Mingyu’s unamused glare. “Did you forget how he chased after Soyi right after you and her went public?”

“We’re in a truce,” Mingyu says slowly, as if he himself doesn’t believe it quite yet. He looks down at the Kitkat in his hand and breaks it in half. “He wouldn’t do something like that.”

Sunbin frowns. “So why do you care so much if it doesn’t concern you? Aren’t you too busy with your classes to obsess over his every move again?”

“I don’t obsess, I observe,” Mingyu corrects.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night. On the rare nights that you actually get sleep, I mean.” Sunbin frowns even deeper. “You know, it won’t kill you to get a few more hours of sleep. You don’t need to take notes on every single word in your textbook.”

“Yes, Mom.” Mingyu nudges Sunbin, trying to lighten her up and get her to drop the topic.

“Don’t _yes, Mom_ me. You want to hear me go full Mom? Stop skipping your meals and take it easy on the basketball practice. I know you got the championships coming up, but that doesn’t mean you have to slave away the few calories you - ”

“Okay, okay,” Mingyu laughs, gently shoving Sunbin through the library doors. “Got it, Mom.”

“Like you ever listen,” Sunbin grumbles.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


“Wonwoo - ”

“- is off scheming, is cooking up some trouble, is the root of all evil. I heard it all,” Jun repeats in a monotone as his hands work in a flurry smashing at his controller.

“Was it Seokmin or Sunbin who warned you?”

“Both.” Jun doesn’t look away from the screen, eyes steady on his vampire avatar. “And I got a feeling. You never watch me game unless you want to vent.”

Mingyu lets his head loll back on his chair, where he’s swivelling around and fiddling with his phone. Jun’s seated on his bed, but he looks like he’s about to fall off any second with how close to the TV screen he’s leaning. “That’s because you give more advice than Seokmin and less snark than Sunbin. And you don’t judge as much when you’re distracted by your games.”

He glances down at his latest gift, a phone case of three cute bears stacked on top of each other, and flips it over so he can only see the black screen. 

“I never judge you,” Jun says. He pauses as he sucks the blood out of his prey, before the victim manages to break away. “Shit. Uh, yeah I only judge how you keep denying your worry for him.”

“I don’t - I’m not,” Mingyu stutters. “I’m worried for the safety of our school community and society as a whole. What if he’s off doing drugs or breaking other laws?”

Jun laughs, before swearing again at the screen when his prey slashes him. “Technically, he already has. So did you, and me, and like 90% of this school.”

“What do you - oh. Alcohol.”

“Yeah, man. Criminals, all of us.”

“Maybe I should follow him,” Mingyu says. “Just to make sure he’s not doing something stupid.”

“You should not follow him,” Jun responds immediately, completely forgetting his game for a moment as he stares intently at Mingyu. “Seriously, Gyu, don’t stalk him. Just let the poor guy live his life.”

“Woah, okay.” Mingyu blinks, eyes shifting from Jun’s weirdly serious expression to the screen where Jun’s vampire gets stabbed. “You died, by the way.”

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


It’s a bad habit, Mingyu knows, to constantly forget his friends’ advice when facing his problems head-on.

In his defense, Wonwoo wasn’t the one he was looking for, at least not directly. Mingyu was hunting down Soonyoung to complete his rectangle of ranting.

That’s why Mingyu’s walking to Soonyoung’s dorm when the guy in question hurries down the hallway, head down and eyes on his phone. He doesn’t even see Mingyu, just sidesteps around him without raising his head and continues down the stairs at a brick pace.

At first, Mingyu figures that Soonyoung probably had an explanation for his odd behaviour, even though he’s never seen his normally happy-go-lucky friend that serious. So Mingyu peers down the stairs out of concern for his friend, nothing more.

But the scene that he sees is a whole other story.

At the bottom of the stairs, Wonwoo and Soonyoung are standing close together, heads bowed down and almost touching as they whisper to each other. 

Huh.

Before Mingyu realizes why the sight rubs him the wrong way, the two start off down the hall.

He takes his time going down the stairs, still reeling from the development. He dials Soonyoung’s number, and watches as his friend, almost at the front entrance, stares at his phone in surprise and picks up after a moment of hesitation. 

“What’s up, Gyu?” 

“Hey, I was just wondering what you’re up to,” Mingyu keeps his voice lowered, sticking close to the walls as he watches Soonyoung and Wonwoo step out the tall arches of the front entrance. “I swung by your room, but you weren’t there.”

“Oh, I’m at guidance.” Mingyu thins his lips. He doesn’t recall there being tall hedges and aromatic flowers in the guidance office. “I’ll probably be a while, so don’t wait on me.”

“Alright, have fun.” Mingyu hangs up and picks up his pace before he loses them in the garden.

It’s a pain hiding with his tall stature, and it takes a lot of crouching and staining his pants until he ducks under a bending sunflower to reach a small clearing. To his surprise, it’s the furthest thing from shady. Soonyoung and Wonwoo stand before a faded white bench, surrounded by towering sunflowers and lavenders, which shield them from any passer-bys, like a prime hideaway for secret rendezvous. No wonder Mingyu’s never seen this spot before.

Another thing he’s never seen is Wonwoo laughing that easily.

The quick smile on Soonyoung is a given, but seeing Wonwoo jokingly hit Soonyoung and laugh - a laugh Mingyu’s worked three years for, and Soonyoung gets in three minutes - gives Mingyu pause.

Mingyu becomes painfully aware of his position as an outsider peering in on their secret meeting, hiding his 186 cm frame behind some pathetic foliage. The ridiculity of the situation sets in with a defining sense of _what-the-fuck-am-I-doing._

Sighing, Mingyu drops his head and frustratingly messes up his hair. He doesn’t have time to be stalking his roommate. He still has an essay on dystopias and chemistry textbook questions waiting for him.

With his stomach still in knots, Mingyu pulls himself up when Wonwoo crouches down and peers into, of all things, a cardboard box under the bench.

“Hey, little one,” Wonwoo cooes. _Cooes._

Mingyu stumbles, barely stopping himself from falling onto his ass. But he can’t stop the scuffle of his shoes on the grass. 

Soonyoung and Wonwoo both whirl around at an alarming speed, the force almost sending Wonwoo falling onto the ground too if not for the bench.

“Oh, it’s just Mingyu,” Soonyoung sighs out of relief, eyes crinkling up like he wasn’t caught red-handed doing god knows what with Wonwoo.

“No, not _just_ Mingyu,” Wonwoo moves to bat at Soonyoung’s leg, while placing himself between Mingyu and the box. “The Headmaster’s son, who can get us suspended.”

Mingyu glazes over the sting. “What are you doing?”

“How’d you even get here?” Wonwoo glares up at Mingyu, but Mingyu can tell it’s more out of panic than anything malevolent. “Did you follow us?”

“ _Meow._ ”

Mingyu’s eyes widen. “What was that?”

“What was what?” Soonyoung moves in front of Wonwoo, smile now a little strained. “I didn’t hear anything, did you, Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo stays silent. 

Mingyu glances around. “I swear I heard a - ”

“ _Meow._ ”

“I think she’s hungry,” Wonwoo says quietly to Soonyoung.

Soonyoung sighs, defeated. “Yeah, we should feed her.”

Mingyu watches, wide-eyed, as Soonyoung pulls out a chicken leg from lunch and bends down to rip pieces of the chicken and drop it into the box while Wonwoo pours water into a plastic water bottle cap.

Inching closer, Mingyu peers into the box and sucks in a breath when he sees the fluffiest, black ball of kitten munching on the chicken.

“She’s precious,” Mingyu breathes out, momentarily forgetting about the uncomfortable situation. He stares up at Soonyoung. “Can I pick her up?”

Soonyoung nods, while raising his eyebrows at Wonwoo. Mingyu ignores their non-verbal communication to wait for the kitten to finish her meal and slowly reach into the box.

He waits for the kitten to sniff and lick his hand, before scooping her up. She fits perfectly in his two hands, staring up at him with bright, black eyes.

“Hey there,” Mingyu whispers. The kitten glances away, as if it’s bored of being coddled.

“So, I trust you’re not going to tell anyone, right?” Soonyoung asks cheerily.

“Like my father?” Mingyu replies dryly. Wonwoo clears his throat, glancing down.

“Of course you wouldn’t.” Soonyoung grins, petting the black kitten gently. At the touch, the kitten curls up and burrows further into Mingyu’s hands, body vibrating with purrs. “I know we’re not allowed to keep pets, but when I found this cutie by the gate, I just had to keep her.”

“How did you get involved? I didn’t know you two were close.” Mingyu glances at Wonwoo. He doesn’t mean for it to come out like an accusation.

“I asked him for help,” Soonyoung answers when Wonwoo doesn’t, eyes darting when he registers the awkward mood. “He has cats at home, so I figured he’d help me not accidentally kill this little one.”

Mingyu pauses, taking in the information. There are a ton of questions on the tip of his tongue, a few that he doesn’t even know if he wants the answer to, but he settles with the rational, “So you’re just planning on keeping her in a box forever?”

“Well, Wonwoo wanted to bring her to his dorm,” Soonyoung trails off.

“But I thought you might tell your father,” Wonwoo finally speaks up. “You’re a stickler for the rules, Kim. Especially his.”

“I’m not - ” Mingyu bites his lips, but the urge to argue with Wonwoo wins. “There are rules for a reason, and you have to agree it’s not a good idea keeping her, especially during senior year.”

Wonwoo raises his eyebrows at Soonyoung, and they conduct their eye contact conversation again, which only irritates Mingyu further.

But Mingyu holds back and asks as neutrally as he can, “Who else knows?”

Soonyoung’s mouth twists, but he still answers truthfully, “Our friends all know.”

It clicks into place with a sting. That’s why Jun warned him against following Wonwoo. That’s why Seokmin and Sunbin brushed off his concerns and changed the topic of conversations. They were all hiding this from him.

“So everyone but me,” Mingyu says slowly. He keeps his eyes on the fluff ball, not daring to look at Soonyoung in case his poker face isn’t as impenetrable as he thought. “You all thought I was going to tattle to the Headmaster. About a fucking cat.”

“Not tattle, per se,” Soonyoung comes closer to Mingyu with his hands up, while Wonwoo gets to his feet, eyes intent on Mingyu. They’re looking at him like he’s a wildcat, hissing and a breath from striking. “It’s more of a preventive measure.”

“So you thought it was safer to bring Wonwoo into this?”

“Mingyu,” Soonyoung laughs weakly. Mingyu notices that he doesn’t answer the question. “You’re not mad because of a _cat_ , are you?”

Of fucking course he’s not mad because of a cat. He’s not even mad over Wonwoo snarking him about the Headmaster. He’s not mad, he’s just. 

It’s just wrong. This whole situation is wrong, with Soonyoung and Wonwoo bonding over some secret when Mingyu still has the _Fuck the Snobs!_ phone case Soonyoung customized for him when he got bullied freshman year and now apparently his friends trust Wonwoo over him now.

Even in this moment, with Soonyoung and Wonwoo on one side and Mingyu on the other, he can clearly see the boundaries that seemingly appeared overnight, but probably have been in the workings for a while. 

Out of the three of them, Mingyu is the unwanted one.

Mingyu hates feeling this way. It’s embarrassing, almost shameful, that he cares this much.

“Mingyu?” Soonyoung asks again warily.

The matching concern in Soonyoung and Wonwoo automatically sends Mingyu shutting down any emotions, face settling into his fake, damage control smile, before he has time to sort his thoughts.

“Of course I’m not mad.” Soonyoung and Wonwoo both glance at each other when Mingyu uses his civil tone. “And don’t worry, the Headmaster won’t find out from me.”

Wonwoo steps towards him. “Mingyu - ”

“Here, she’s all yours.” Mingyu hands the kitten over to a hesitant Wonwoo. He smiles again. “I have an essay to write, so I’m off.”

Before he can get far, a hand latches onto him. The grip’s hard enough that he knows it isn’t Soonyoung.

“Hey,” Wonwoo says, only letting go when Mingyu stops and faces him. “Hey, about what I said just then - about the Headmaster… ”

“It’s fine,” Mingyu dimisses. He turns to go, but Wonwoo holds onto him again.

He stares pointedly back at Wonwoo, the deep-seated irritation starting to show. 

“Are you jealous?” Wonwoo asks, point-blank.

Mingyu stills. 

The image of Wonwoo laughing with Soonyoung, sharing glances and light hits, fuels the hole in his stomach. 

He’s seen Wonwoo in that position before, with all the girls Mingyu dated before, but he’s never been that carefree, that happy. And Mingyu clearly defined the jealousy back then because it was his ex. But now, the overwhelming feeling can’t be because of Soonyoung. 

The only other option Mingyu can’t let himself think about. Thinking about Wonwoo like that is akin to standing on the edge of a death drop, where Mingyu can either walk away or fall to his death.

“You’re really jealous that I got close to your friends?” Wonwoo asks, eyes wide as he gauges Mingyu’s reaction. “Because trust me, I’m not going to steal your weirdos away.”

A relieved breath escapes Mingyu that Wonwoo hadn’t caught on, but the gnawing uncomfort bolstered by Wonwoo’s initial question remains. Why does he care so much?

“I’m not jealous,” Mingyu says firmly. Not of Wonwoo. Not - not _over_ Wonwoo. Then he remembers his smile. “I really have to get back to work, though. I’ll see you around.”

Once he makes it out of the garden onto regular cobbled pathway, Mingyu lets his smile slip. He forgot how exhausting it was to put up a front, when he never had to before with his roommate.

So, he chooses to walk away.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


A knock on his door interrupts him from his Advanced Functions question set. Sighing, Mingyu marks where he’s at and gets up, since he’s the only one in the dorm.

“Why aren’t you at dinner?” Sunbin asks right as he opens the door.

Mingyu can’t find it within himself to give her his signature smile and flings an arm at his desk. “What else? I’m behind on math problems.”

“No, you’re not behind. You are actually two chapters ahead of us. So, let me ask you again, why aren’t you at dinner?”

“The Headmaster wants me three chapters ahead. I’m not hungry, anyway.” Mingyu shrugs. There’s no way he’s telling her he took one look in the caf, saw Wonwoo and Soonyoung joking around while in line for their meals, and walked right back out.

“Don’t give me that,” Sunbin frowns again. She’s been doing that a lot more lately around him. “This is the third time this week you skipped dinner, and Jun said you didn’t eat lunch today either.”

“I’ll eat later,” Mingyu shoots a reassuring smile at Sunbin, but she doesn’t look reassured one bit.

Sighing, she reaches into her blazer pocket and holds out a little of bag of white macadamia cookies, Mingyu’s favourite. His eyes instinctively zone in on the green sticky note slapped on the bag: _Starving’s not a good look on you._

“Take it,” Sunbin says, shaking the bag lightly.

“I’m not hungry. You can eat it.”

Sunbin stares at him. “Mingyu.”

“If you don’t want it, give it to Soonyoung. He likes sweets.” He closes the door before he can see Sunbin’s face fall.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Mingyu never acknowledges the kitten unless he’s the only one in the room. It’s all in his head, but since he was left out at the start, he feels like the kitten’s more of Wonwoo and Soonyoung’s than his, so he keeps his distance. If they catch him caring for the cat, it’s like he’s given away too much.

So when Wonwoo’s gone for dinner, Mingyu lets himself crouch in front of her pillow under Wonwoo’s desk and scoops up the little kitten. He can’t resist her little paws and flicking tail.

“Hey, Tiny,” Mingyu smiles as he lies down on his bed, holding the kitten up in the air. She peers down at him curiously. “We should give you a name, huh? Wonwoo just calls you ‘little one.’”

Mingyu lowers her onto his chest, where she stands and paws at his shirt fabric. He laughs, watching her rise and fall with every breath. She looks - glares - at him until he stops moving. Then she curls down on his chest and purrs.

“You remind me a lot of Wonwoo, actually,” Mingyu huffs out a laugh, watching her flick her tail. “I can’t tell the difference, sometimes.”

He stays there for a few more minutes, gently stroking her back, but Mingyu has to put her back before she falls asleep on him and then he won’t have the heart to move her. Just after he places her gently back onto her pillow, Wonwoo opens the door.

“What are you doing?” Wonwoo asks as he throws his bag onto his bed and heads to the washroom to wash his hands.

Mingyu returns to his desk. “Taking a break from my work.”

Before he gets started on his Chemistry, Wonwoo places a bundle of plastic napkins onto his desk. From the savory scent, it’s clear that it was tonight’s dinner, but Mingyu waits until he finishes taking notes on the current page before he unravels the bundle. Inside are ribs and salted potatoes slices. 

His chest squeezes. Mingyu covers it up with a smile. “You didn’t have to. I would have went down later.”

Wonwoo clears his throat, ruffing through his bag for his schoolwork. “There wouldn’t have been any leftovers.”

Mingyu nods and pops a potato slice into his mouth. It’s good, especially since he hasn’t consumed anything substantial beyond granola bars and coffee for the past ten hours. He takes the ribs and walks over to the kitten (Wonwoo Jr., in Mingyu’s mind) and rips off small pieces of meat to feed her.

“You don’t have to feed her,” Wonwoo says. “That’s my job.”

Mingyu just wordlessly waits as Wonwoo Jr. gobbles the meat up. He eats the rest of the potatoes and throws out the paper napkins, all the while aware that Wonwoo’s staring at him.

When Mingyu exits the washroom after washing his hands, he meets Wonwoo’s intent eyes again. Against his instincts, he ignores it and returns to his desk. That’s how he managed to hang on the past few days, living in the same room with Wonwoo when lately the floor feels like it’s sweeped out from under him when Wonwoo so much as stares at him like that.

“Why aren’t you talking to me?” Wonwoo asks, voice quiet.

Mingyu pointedly keeps his eyes on his textbook. “I’m talking to you right now.”

“No, you’re - this isn’t - ” Wonwoo’s jaw tightens. It takes a moment, but he blurts out, “Why can’t you be angry like a normal person?”

“I’m not - ”

“You are. Don’t lie to me, Kim. You’re angry, but you never yell or throw punches until you’re pushed too far. You just take it out on yourself.”

Mingyu ducks his head to hide his expression. Wonwoo doesn’t have the right to read through him like that, he’s not allowed to bring him dinner, he’s not allowed to show consideration for Mingyu, of all people.

“I’m not angry,” Mingyu says quietly, as sure as he can. 

“Do you hate me that much?”

Mingyu looks up at that, meeting Wonwoo’s steely gaze. “What are you talking about?”

“You really hate that Soonyoung and I don’t bodycheck each other into lockers? You can’t stand to see me acting friendly with your precious friends? That’s why you avoid them and act like staying in the same room as me is suffocating?” 

Mingyu has the awful urge to laugh. Wonwoo’s so right, but so wrong. “It’s not like that.”

“Like hell it isn’t. Didn’t you think I was off doing drugs or something the past few days?” Mingyu can’t stop his flinch. Who told him? Soonyoung? Sunbin? “Were you scared I’ll corrupt your friends?”

“You sure are talking a lot more tonight,” Mingyu manages, his last grip on staying in control. It’s true. It’s been the most they’ve spoken to each other, and the longest that Mingyu’s even talked to anyone, really, for the past few days. They usually spent the rare moments together in silence, when Mingyu wasn’t hiding away in the library or empty classrooms or the gym. 

Wonwoo says, like a barbed challenge, “Just admit you hate me.”

“What was the first thing you said in the garden?” Mingyu asks instead, watching as the ice leaves Wonwoo’s features when he remembers. “‘He’s not just Mingyu. He’s the Headmaster’s son.’ And yet you say that I hate you.”

“I don’t - I can’t hate you,” Wonwoo says, even though it looks like it’s paining him to say so.

Mingyu stares at him, at the clear, conflicted expression on Wonwoo’s face and compared it to how freshman Wonwoo looked like his world was crashing down when Mingyu introduced himself. He wonders what face Wonwoo will make if he tells the truth, if he says, _I wish you did._

_It’ll make things so much easier if you actually hated me._

Instead, Mingyu says, “Do you know what my favourite cookie is?”

It’s a stupid question, one that only has one answer he'll like. He has to ask, or he’ll go insane.

At Wonwoo’s lost expression, Mingyu turns back to his textbook so the disappointment doesn’t show on his face when Wonwoo answers, “Chocolate chip?”

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Mingyu focuses on the hands in the circle as the Eastridge basketball team do their team chant. His head is pounding with every word, heart threatening to jump into his throat. He always feels like a live wire on game days, but this isn’t just any game. This is quarter-finals. Coach pulled him aside earlier to warn him that the Headmaster was watching.

They shout a final “Eastridge!” before filing out onto the court sidelines. Mingyu ignores the chanting in the stands, mind zoned in on the referee and the other team’s captain. Moretary High. Captain’s short, but fast; probably steals more than shoots. He scouts out the other team, eyes flickering over the key players. 11’s got muscle, definitely guard material. 3’s height means he’s receiver and in charge of easy lay-ups. 8, 15, and 22 Mingyu remembers from last year’s championships.

After a brief talk with the ref, Mingyu returns to his team by the sidelines as they warm up. He pauses when he sees, right in the front row, a banner saying _Kim Mingyu, King of Eastridge Ball! Net them all!_ held by Sunbin and Jun. Beside them are Soonyoung and Seokmin with matching grins and pom poms. 

Chan nudges him in the side. “Looks like you’ve got your own fanclub.”

An overwhelming warmth spreads through his chest, but then he glances up three rows and sees the Headmaster with his arms folded, looking out of place in his suit in the middle of cheering high schoolers.

Mingyu immediately shakes the genuine smile off his face and gets back into the competitive headspace. He tightens his laces, then straightens up as soon as the ref blows the whistle.

The team give encouragements to the starting line-up, but when Minghao passes Mingyu with a clap on the back, he pauses.

“You’re shaking,” Minghao says.

Mingyu stares down at his hands, which are trembling by his side. He rolls his shoulders back and flashes Minghao a ready grin. “Just the game nerves.”

Minghao gives him another look, but takes his position without another question.

At the blow of the whistle, the basketball is launched into the air for a tip-off between Mingyu and 3. 3 wins by a centimetre, and the pounding in Mingyu’s head gets louder. As Eastridge runs to their defensive play, Minghao claps Mingyu on the back again, grounding him back to the game.

The first half is brutal. They’re neck in neck, scoring one after the other. Moretary knows their strengths and prides it in, with their speed and blocking. 

At break, Mingyu reassures the team despite Moretary leading, “They come in strong first half, but die out second. Keep possession and make them sprint. Semi-finals is ours.”

The team ends the pep talk with a cheer. Mingyu sucks in long breaths, not having a chance to fully relax until after the talk, blinking the sweat out of his eyes. He didn’t wear the black sweatband and he’s regretting it. He’s downing half his water bottle into his mouth when Coach comes up to him with a look Mingyu does not like.

“We need to talk,” Coach says in a firm tone.

Mingyu shakes his head. “I’m not coming off.”

“You look half-dead. Kim, this will not do your team any favours.”

“I didn’t mess up yet. I can hold on.”

“You’re not supposed to hold on,” Coach all but growls, “You’re supposed to _play._ ”

“So I’m going to play.” Mingyu puts down his empty bottle at the sound of the whistle and hurries back to court without a look back at his Coach, who he knows is probably pulling at his hair in frustration.

Second half proceeds as much as Mingyu predicted. Moretary is clearly tired, and possession is in Eastridge’s favour. The other team is getting sloppy, but that means they’re also getting more desperate.

There are more ref calls, more whistle blows that stop the momentum of the plays, to everyone’s frustration. Bruises, cut lips, floor burns, all the minor injuries come out to play.

All it takes is one moment.

Mingyu’s got bruises in all the easy areas - ribs, arms, shins - and is barely hanging on by a tether. He avoids looking at the stands or the sidelines, where he knows Coach is pacing and seconds from calling him out. Instead, he starts glancing periodically at the clock whenever the ball goes out, counting down the minutes until this game from hell is over.

Right at the 12 minute mark, Daehyun has the ball and is throwing it in, except none of Eastridge is open. Gritting his teeth, Mingyu darts into an open area, eyes focused on Daehyun, so he doesn’t see until it’s too late that 11’s charging in the same direction.

There’s a brief moment before impact when he feels the heat, sees the shock in Daehyun’s eyes.

Then, he’s hit. 

There’s pain, from the point of impact where his head hit the floor and from his whole sore body. He hears the piercing whistle and shouts and footsteps barely over the pounding in his head, before his vision goes to black.

The last thing that runs through Mingyu's mind is, _Not this again._

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Mingyu blinks his eyes, and he’s on the bleachers behind the school, autumn wind ruffling the pages of _Brave New World._ He squints at the letters, somehow not able to put a meaning to the words.

“What are you doing brooding by yourself in this weather?” A woman asks in lieu of a greeting as she plops down beside him, sitting with her legs resting on the lower bench. 

He doesn’t look in the woman’s direction, flipping through the indecipherable pages. “I could ask you the same.”

“I just happened to have 20/20 vision and some common sense in my little brain, so when I saw this boy on the bleachers behind the school, I figured there was only one person foolish enough to be here.”

Mingyu sighs, marking the page in his book and turning to give the woman his full attention. He stops, when he takes in who the stranger is. The kind eyes, wrinkles at the corner of her eyes, the long, wispy hair loosely tied back into a bun.

“Mom,” Mingyu breathes out. 

“Maybe I’m too nosy for my own good, but I really wanted you to be happy, Mingyu.” Mom shakes her feet side to side, elbows up on the bench behind her, but her expression is an oddly serious one. “You’re not as opaque as you think.”

“I’m happy.” Mingyu thins his lips, knowing how false the words ring even to his own ears. “Happy enough.”

“You know, I think we share a special bond. Not just the family bond. But I think you and I have seen each other at our worst already, so whatever you’re gonna say isn’t going to change my opinion of you, okay?” Mom waits until Mingyu gives her a nod. “So what’s going on?”

It’s easy, as easy as breathing, to tell Mom everything. She looks at him with those honest eyes, free of judgement, and Mingyu feels that he really can show her anything, even his darkest, most pathetic thoughts.

And maybe Mingyu just wants someone to talk to without feeling ashamed of having feelings.

When he’s done, Mom takes a while to let the story sink in. Then she turns to Mingyu, sincerity plain and simple in her eyes. “I think you should tell your friends what you just told me. You’re going to need the support.”

Mingyu knows, objectively, that she’s right again, but, “There’s a reason why I told you and not them.”

“But,” Mom leans forward, pulling up her legs so she can hug her knees. “Don’t you miss them?”

A thin thread of hurt courses through him at being asked the question out loud. Not trusting himself to speak, Mingyu nods.

“So what are you afraid of, Mingyu?”

His friends siding with Wonwoo over him? Annoyed, yes, but not afraid.

Disappointing the Headmaster? Well, yeah, that’s nothing new.

Then Mingyu recalls Wonwoo’s question the other night: _Why can’t you be angry like a normal person?_

He thinks of how the way they look at him will change, how murmured whispers will spread through the halls, what the Headmaster will say, how Wonwoo will regress back to disgust and _get the fuck away from me, Kim._

“I’m scared of being disliked,” Mingyu whispers. Saying it out loud, not matter how quietly, feels like an admission of weakness. But when Mom looks at him with those forgiving eyes, Mingyu feels his whole body lighten from lifting off the weight. 

“Do you think they dislike you?”

Mingyu shakes his head.

Mom hums, then asks, “Do you think they will dislike you if they know the truth?”

Mingyu stares at his book, as if it’ll give him the answer. He shuts his eyes. “I don’t even know if I know what the truth is. I’ve spent so long maintaining this certain persona that I’ve gotten used to repressing my feelings. I think I’ve forgotten where I’ve buried them.”

“Pretending that you’re okay is dishonest to your friends,” his mother says soothingly. She moves closer and cards her fingers through Mingyu’s hair. “Maybe you should trust them like how you want them to trust you.”

Mingyu leans into her touch. “I’ll try.”

“Good boy.” 

“Are you going to leave now?” Mingyu peers into her eyes, as they turn sad. He closes his own so he doesn’t have to look.

With her hands still brushing his hair, she says it like a promise, “You are loved, Kim Mingyu.”

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Mingyu groggily blinks his eyes open to long bars of light. It takes a moment for him to recognize them as the lights in the infirmary, and it takes another moment for him to register the ache in his body over the killer headache.

“He’s up,” a low voice beside him says, then repeats, louder with a hint of panic. The person stands, and the comforting sensation of hands brushing through Mingyu’s hair stops.

Mingyu turns, head flopping onto the pillow and wincing when he lands on the sore bruise on his head. But he ignores the pain to focus on the person who's walking away from him at a quick pace, who apparently has been carding his fingers through Mingyu’s hair. 

“Wonwoo?” Mingyu’s voice is gross and strained, but it works.

Wonwoo stops abruptly, but takes his time facing Mingyu, and Mingyu is alarmed at the tension in his frame. His eyes are cold, jaw set, face an impassive wall.

Clearing his throat, Mingyu asks, “Why are you here?”

“Because my idiot roommate completely forgot how to sustain himself like a proper human being and starved and worked himself to near death.” The muscle in Wonwoo’s jaw flexes, and Mingyu can’t help but stare. “Do you know what Jeonghan said? You didn’t collapse because of the hit, but because your body just couldn’t work anymore.”

“You came because you were worried?” Mingyu asks. His voice sounds too loud in the quiet infirmary.

Wonwoo’s face pales even more, if that’s possible, and he looks near furious. But before Mingyu can try again, Jeonghan comes in with Mingyu’s little fan club.

They all swarm Mingyu’s bed, with Sunbin inspecting all of his injuries, Jun smoothing out his blanket, and Seokmin and Soonyoung organizing the snacks they brought. Over the commotion, Mingyu can see Wonwoo leave, and he belatedly notices that Wonwoo’s hair is unusually messy.

“You’re such an idiot,” Sunbin says, voice trembling. “How many times did I tell you to eat your meals and sleep properly? How many?”

“We were at class, so Jeonghan didn’t let us skip until you woke up,” Jun explains for everyone else as he takes a seat at the end of Mingyu’s bed. “We would have come earlier if we could.”

Mingyu glances at Jeonghan, since Wonwoo was clearly here, but Jeonghan just shakes his head. It’s not a good time to ask.

“Did we win?” Mingyu asks instead.

Everyone stops their motion and stares at him. 

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Soonyoung asks, stricken. “You’re in an infirmary bed, Mingyu, and you’re asking about basketball?”

“Yeah, we won,” Seokmin answers, with a hand on Soonyoung’s shoulder. He grins. “The guy who checked you got pulled off for the rest of the season.”

Mingyu swallows. “And the Headmaster?”

There’s another beat, with exchanged glances, before Jun steps up. “He left right after you collapsed.”

Mingyu shuts his eyes, the bubble of panic near exploding. The one time he got the chance to show the Headmaster what he was good at, he fucked it up.

“He must have been proud, Mingyu,” Sunbin says softly. “You were amazing out there.”

Mingyu isn’t so sure about that. But he exhales, and opens his eyes to see all his friends surrounding him. The automatic reaction is to smile and glaze it over, but he takes a moment instead to find the words.

“I just feel like I can never live up to his expectations, but I have to because that’s what he deserves from me for giving me this life,” Mingyu says. He’s surprised his voice is so steady and that his friends don’t look shocked or sad. They just nod and wait. “I’m sorry that I was distant for the past week or so. I just had a lot of pressure and stuff to work through.”

Sunbin punches him lightly in the shoulder. “As long as you don’t pull this shit again, we’re good.”

“I’m sorry about the cat thing, too,” the words tumble from Soonyoung in a rush, like he’s been holding them in for a long time. “It was pretty shitty of me to hide it from only you, since I should have known you wouldn’t have told your dad either way. And the reason why we got close to Wonwoo wasn’t because of the cat.”

From the pile of snacks that Seokmin and Soonyoung brought in, Seokmin brings out a bag of shrimp crackers with the green sticky note. Seokmin rips off the green sticky note, grinning, “We asked Wonwoo to write the notes, because you know our handwriting too well and we didn’t want you to suspect us as your secret admirer. And he could also easily leave them in your room without you noticing.”

“We knew you probably needed some way to relieve stress, so we came up with this project to give you little gifts.” Sunbin lets out a sigh, tone defeated. “But I guess it did a fat lot of good since you ended up in the infirmary anyway.”

Mingyu’s mouth falls open. He figured that it wasn’t Wonwoo giving the gifts, but he had no idea it was his friends. He grins, wide and heartfelt, “You _guys._ ”

“Don’t cry on us,” Soonyoung says, whacking Mingyu’s leg. He mimes wiping a tear away. “If you start crying, then I’ll start, then it’s gonna be a room full of babies here.”

Mingyu wonders if it’s a good time to bring up whatever he’s feeling for Wonwoo since they’re on the topic, but as he watches Sunbin hit Soonyoung while Seokmin and Jun start arguing over which snacks should be opened first, he decides he can save it for later. 

In the midst of the laughter, of the buffet of junk food, of the most important people in Mingyu’s life, he remembers his dream.

_You are loved, Kim Mingyu._

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Jeonghan somehow manages to wrestle the four loud teengers out of the infirmary and wrangle out a promise from Mingyu to rest here for the night all before curfew. Jeonghan is a powerful man and Mingyu respects him, but goddamn, if he isn't bored out of his mind chained to this infirmary bed.

Sighing, Mingyu stares out the window above his infirmary bed, watching the wind ruffle the curtains that frame the moon. He knows the whole point is for him to sleep, but almost two months of a defective sleep schedule hyped on caffeine prevent him from feeling drowsy. He can’t stop thinking about the homework he missed, and how he’s going to talk to the Headmaster, and god, Wonwoo looked like he was going to stab Mingyu. If he doesn’t die from overexhaustion, he’s half convinced Wonwoo will finish the task.

Right as Mingyu’s contemplating sneaking out through the window, his phone lights up with a text.

__

_minghao_  
_you still in the infirmary?_

Mingyu squints at the screen in the darkness. Sure enough, he didn’t misread Minghao’s name. It’s odd that Minghao even bothered to check up on him, since, as Mingyu scrolls up, their conversation consists primarily of Minghao asking him when practice was and occasional middle finger emojis.

__

_minghao_  
_don’t leave me on read, you ass._

Oops. 

__

_mingyu_  
_Yeah_  
_I’m still here_  
_Why?_

Now Mingyu’s the one left on read. He frowns at his phone, then flips it over. He’s got a million things on his mind, he doesn’t need Minghao’s shit on top of it.

“Hey.” Mingyu freezes. The voice says, louder but still in a low frequency, “Hey, Kim.”

Mingyu sits up, alarmed, as he makes out Minghao’s form from the dim moonlight. “What the fuck - ”

Minghao claps a hand over Mingyu’s mouth, ignoring the muffled noises and glares. “Don’t freak out. I’ll let you talk if you promise not to freak out and be as loud as you always are.”

After Minghao backs away, Mingyu hisses, “What the fuck are you doing? You expect me not to freak out after you stepped out from the fucking shadows like some shady ninja?”

Minghao winces. “Okay, I know this sounds even shadier, but can you follow me? Like right now, preferably.”

Mingyu gapes. “Right now? Are you out of your mind?”

“It’s Wonwoo.”

“What?” Mingyu is already getting out of bed. “Is he hurt?”

“No, but - ugh, just follow me and stop asking stupid questions.”

Mingyu finds his questions well warranted, given that he’s willingly following Minghao, the pain in the ass who sabotaged his homework and shoved him around just three years ago, in the dead of the night. This is the prime set-up for a murder. The bright side is he can’t get murdered by Wonwoo if Minghao beats him to it.

But Mingyu knows that Minghao won’t lie using Wonwoo like that. So he follows Minghao to the caretaker’s office by the gym. He doesn’t even ask how Minghao got the key that he used to unlock the caretaker’s office and another door within.

They walk up a set of narrow stairs up to the school roof, black sky stretching before them endlessly.

They clamber up the old, gritty shingles to the other side, where Mingyu gets a clear view of the balcony below them. He’s seen that balcony before, seen this exact view from the office they’re standing on top of.

Before Mingyu breaks his promise of not asking questions, the Headmaster walks out onto the balcony while on his phone.

Mingyu whirls onto Minghao with incredulous eyes, but the latter shuts him up with his hand again.

“It shouldn’t be an issue,” the Headmaster’s saying. “I thought we took care of it almost five years prior.” A pause. He gets increasingly annoyed as he says, “That’s why I hired you, isn’t it? Get it done.” 

Another lengthy pause. The Headmaster lights a cigarette and takes a drag. “Worst comes to worse, we’ll just fight it out. Besides, don’t you know the Jeons’ stocks are dropping fast after his wife died? We can buy them out.”

Minghao doesn’t resist when Mingyu pulls away his hand. This doesn’t sound like the Headmaster; his father isn’t the type of person to attack a family like that, like a backstabbing coward.

“No. No - Shin, listen to me. I did not go through all that trouble to get rid of Jeon for you to fuck up and not get rid of all the evidence.”

If it isn’t for Minghao’s death grip on his arm, Mingyu might have fallen over the ledge. 

“I am not going under because of your mistake five years later. I can do damage control and buy out his company, but I am not going to apologize for you…” The Headmaster puts out the cigarette on the balcony railing, then goes back into his office, leaving behind only smoke and fear.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


“Why’d you bring me here?” Mingyu finally asks, after what feels like a whole hour of them sitting up there freezing their toes off. Mingyu’s still in his basketball uniform from the game, while Minghao’s in sweats - a step-up, but still no winter parka.

Minghao lets out a sigh, stretching his legs out and hitting them to get blood circulating. “I wanted to find a spot to myself - hell, I’ll just tell you. To smoke without getting caught. So I stole the caretaker’s key and made a copy. I came up here after midnight, since that’s when the caretakers sleep, and a few weeks in, I heard his voice.”

“You eavesdropped regularly on the Headmaster?” Mingyu feels a headache coming on.

“Yeah, well, I was bored, and he was a dick. I didn’t learn much anyway, just that he smokes a hell lot more than me and he’s a bigger dick than I imagined.”

“Minghao - ”

“Okay, okay. Then this past week he made these phone calls about the Jeons. And it sounded really shady, like he did something illegal. He was probably involved in how Mr. Jeon got fired as Headmaster. So I figured you needed to hear it, too.”

"I mean, maybe it's not Wonwoo's family. Maybe it's another set of Jeons - "

Minghao shuts him up with a look - more pity than glare. He lets out a sigh, breath fogging into a cloud. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Mingyu admits. No matter how he tries to think of it, it's still his father at the end of the day. The Headmaster gave him everything. What can he do? "Just. Can you keep this between us?"

"You're the first person I told."

Mingyu pauses, letting that sink in. "Really? Not even Wonwoo?"

“Well, he’s _your_ dad,” Minghao says simply. For all the smoking and breaking curfew and bullying, Mingyu can’t find it within himself to dislike Minghao in that moment.

After another long while, Mingyu sneezes. He groans, resting his head on his knees. “Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Minghao echoes. “Fuck.”

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Mingyu walks back to his room in a daze. It’s a miracle he hasn’t walked into any walls or tripped on the steps up to his floor, but his luck runs out when he enters his room and rams his thigh against the edge of his desk.

“Shit,” Mingyu winces.

The lamp by Wonwoo’s bed flicks on. Wonwoo squints at him groggily and increasingly more irritated by the second, as Mingyu massages his injured thigh.

Mingyu doesn’t know what else to say but a meek, “Sorry.”

“What the fuck are you doing?” Wonwoo’s voice is ice cold.

Shit, did Minghao already tell him? 

“I’m - ”

“Why aren’t you in the infirmary?” Wonwoo’s getting out of bed, and although he’s rumpled and soft from sleep, hair sticking in all sorts of directions and voice low and hoarse, Mingyu is still a little terrified.

“I snuck out.” It comes out more like a question.

“You snuck out,” Wonwoo repeats. “Do you actually hate yourself, Kim? Because god forbid, you get a good night’s rest since the school year started.”

Mingyu blinks. It doesn’t seem like Wonwoo knows, but he’s still mad for some reason. “I don’t think you want me to answer that.”

“You know what I don’t want? I don’t want to be awake at 3 AM, but here I am.” Wonwoo runs a tired hand down his face. “I swear to god if you even look at your homework, I will shove you over the balcony.”

It finally dawns on Mingyu. “Are you worried?” 

Bingo.

Wonwoo doesn’t answer and glares down at the ground like it’s offended him, but that’s a telltale sign as any. Mingyu doesn’t know how to feel. He’s asked this before at the infirmary, should have picked it up sooner, even though Wonwoo used to be the cause of his distress and has odd ways of showing his concern.

In the heavy silence, the kitten chooses now to wake up and waddle over to paw at Wonwoo’s pyjama pants. He bends down and scoops her up, stroking her as he continues to glower in space.

Mingyu can’t help but snort out a laugh. The picture of a grumpy Wonwoo petting his tiny cat at 3 AM is too ridiculous, and kind of annoyingly endearing. 

He stops when Wonwoo directs his glare at Mingyu. But the quirk at his lips and one lifted eyebrow is a dead giveaway that Wonwoo finds this situation as ridiculous as Mingyu. Wonwoo’s glare fades into just a disgruntled frown, then slowly into a reluctant smile as he pets his cat, face warm and glowing from the dim light of his lamp.

It kind of terrifies Mingyu, that just moments ago he was reeling from a life-changing revelation, that he was just a hair breadth away from taking Minghao up on that suggestion for a smoke just for an easy distraction, but all it takes is less than five minutes with Wonwoo to make that all go away.

It shouldn’t be this easy to feel some semblance of okay again. 

And it definitely shouldn’t be coming from Jeon Wonwoo, whose family’s company the Headmaster is trying to take over, who punched Mingyu until they both bled just last month.

“Is it too much to ask for you to just sleep the full five hours until school?” Wonwoo asks when he goes to put Wonwoo Jr. down. “I’ll wake you up on time.”

Mingyu finds himself waiting for Wonwoo to straighten up and face him, so he can see his expression. Three years he’s studied Wonwoo like a course that he should get a Masters in, and it pays off when he scans Wonwoo and knows within a second that Wonwoo’s genuine. 

He genuinely cares that Mingyu gets proper rest. 

“Sure,” Mingyu says, “Alright. But on one condition.”

Wonwoo groans. “Nothing’s ever easy with you, is it?”

“Call me Mingyu.”

Wonwoo blinks rapidly, mouth dropping open. It does not take three years of study to recognize the surprise. “Did Jeonghan put you on some drug?”

Mingyu’s lips twitch. “No. I just want you to say my name. You never say it. It’s always ‘Kim’ this and ‘Kim’ that. But Kim is the Headmaster, and I don’t want to be reminded of him every time we talk.”

There’s a furrow between Wonwoo’s eyebrows. Mingyu doesn’t know why it’s so hard for Wonwoo, but he also doesn’t know why he’s pushing so hard for this himself.

“Okay,” Wonwoo finally says simply. Mingyu fights back a grin. He shouldn’t feel this satisfied, like he scored perfect on his World History exam.

“Okay.”

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo says slowly, and Mingyu’s heart thumps at the sound of his name spoken in that low, quiet voice that hits him right in the chest. It's kind of fascinating, watching Wonwoo's lips form around the syllables of his name for the first time ever. There’s a magic to being called by name, that brings a sense of belonging and - 

“Mingyu’s a dumbass,” Wonwoo says, lips curling up. “Mingyu’s a teacher’s pet. Mingyu’s clumsy as shit. Mingyu’s - ”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” Mingyu cuts him off, but he’s laughing, and soon, Wonwoo is, too.

In that moment, there are no illegal schemes and fraudulent fathers and years of bad blood. In that moment, there is just Mingyu and Wonwoo.

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


When Mingyu wakes up the next morning and the first thing he sees is Wonwoo’s exasperated face and bed-tousled hair and the first thing he feels is _safe,_ he realizes he’s mistaken.

He’s not walking, but falling. It’s been three years in the making, this long fall where Mingyu’s scrambling to grab onto anything to save himself, but it’s too late. It’s inevitable.

He’s falling for Wonwoo.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a big, fat chapter about mingyu learning things! like taking proper care of yourself so you don't pass out! and having feelings for emo boys!
> 
> ahh i'll try to squeeze one more update out before school starts for me in sept bc ik i'll be rlly busy then ;; but don't worry! i have the whole story planned out (wow peep that chapter count) and all that's left is me finding the time to pound out these monster chapters lool 
> 
> anyway i say this every time but i love all of you!!! i'm sorry if i don't reply to all your comments, bc i don't want to inflate the comment count, but please know that i appreciate all the comments and kudos and support <3


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